Podcast 013: How to Get Every Girl Competing Over You

Transcription

Menprovement Podcast 

Ready to take your life to the next level? Then you are in the right place. Get all the information you need to improve everything and live life like a pro. This is the Menprove podcast with Sean Russell.

Intro to the show

Sean 

What’s up, guys? Welcome back to the Menprovement podcast, brought to you by Menprovement.com. The number one online self-improvement resource is strictly for men. I am your host, Sean Russell, a self-improvement enthusiast who is obsessed with taking his life to the next level. I created this podcast to help myself and men like you do just that. The topic of today’s show is how to command a room and get the attention of every woman, wherever you are. For this episode, we have our very own JD Dallas of modernmalelifestyle.com. He works through his own site as a dating coach and dating instructor, and he works with some improvement to plan a lot of content for you. And I got him on here because he is a complete expert in teaching guys how to be more alpha, become more attractive, and meet women. And nobody in my experience, even from the guys I’ve listened to on YouTube and in the thousands of audios, I’ve listened to people explain things in a step-by-step process as solid as JD’s. And in this podcast, which is a relatively short one, he tells you exactly what you need to do to become that charismatic guy that you see out every night, talking to every social group, who all the girls are competing over at the end of the night, and who always leaves with either a phone number or a beautiful girl at his arm. Before we jump into this show, I want to give a quick shout out to our sponsors, combatant gentlemen. They’re a clothing company that has eliminated middlemen completely. They raise their own sheep, and they pick their own cotton, so they can bring you designer-quality clothing at ridiculously low prices. Without any middlemen, Combat and Gentlemen can bring you 100% Italian wool suits for only $160. Beautiful chinos for only $35 and all sorts of other clothes at incredible prices I’m so grateful for them to be a sponsor because I know how much they can approve of your lives. And if you head over to Combat Gent, that CO is [email protected].  And if you make a purchase and use the checkout code Menprovement, you actually get a free tie with every order. So check them out, guys. With that, let’s jump into today’s episode and learn how to command the room and get every woman competing over you with J.D. doubts. Squirrels are rabbit hard Alright guys, welcome back to the show. I’m here today with JD Dallas of modernmalelifestyle.com. Now, I don’t know if you listened to the second episode, where we talked about what it actually means to be an alpha male. But JD gave some incredible advice. And he ended the show, promising that he would come back on here and talk about how to command a room like an alpha male.

Commanding a room and selecting your targets

J.D. Dallas 

Wait a minute. Wait, did I say that?

Sean 

Yeah, I think you did. So

J.D. Dallas 

I put it on tape. Right?

Sean 

Yeah, I brought you on here to deliver on that promise. Personally, I’m very interested to hear what you have to say on the subject.

J.D. Dallas 

Well, I’ve got a lot to say about it. Sean, you know, commanding a room. Basically, what you know, we’re talking about is that you’re at a cookout, you’re at a party, you’re in a bar, you know, any situation where there are single women and lots of them in a social type setting. How do you get recognized, and how do you approach different what we call sets of women? You know, there’s rarely going to be one single woman by herself at a minimum; there’s usually two women together. There are groups of women; there are mixed groups with guys and girls, you know, and you come in as a single guy, right? A couple of things right off the bat. You know, I want to talk about your body language, and I don’t know if we mentioned this in the last episode or not, but

Sean 

first, not we. I think we talked about it for like a minute, but we were

J.D. Dallas 

such as how to hold a beer bottle and all that nonsense. Yeah, hold

Sean 

it at your waist. Yeah, well Yeah,

J.D. Dallas 

You know, you have to be in the mindset that when you walk into any room, you want to command that you own the building. And my friend, Johnny Bravo, and I used to do this thing. Maybe you have a friend with you; this is awesome. Whenever he was talking to a girl or something, I would say, Hey, Johnny, good to see you, man. Hey, thanks for getting me in. Man. It is freaking awesome, you know, and you’d be like, Oh, JD. Yeah, this is Baba, blah, blah, blah. And, you know, if he had a two-set going on, then I would stay there. And he would indicate to me with the signal that we had, you know, which girl he was interested in and which one I was supposed to divert.

The importance of social proof and social validation

So that he could continue his approach. But what I’m doing is confirming him socially by giving him social proof—you know, making it look like we’re both regulars, he owns the place, that kind of thing. And that just has to be your mindset. Going in, and here’s what I like to do. And I do this a lot. You’ll know it the minute you walk into a club: who the alpha female is, who the best-looking woman is, or who the most flashy woman is—you know, she’s going to stand out; they’re just going to be that platinum blonde, Playboy Bunny type woman over there. And then lots of 678 nines, and maybe even some other 10s. The most important thing that you can do is use that alpha woman, or that Playboy Bunny woman, to your advantage. And even if she’s there with her boyfriend, it doesn’t matter. But you have to come into the room like you own the place, which means you’re happy to be there; everything’s great. And you’re going to approach her first. Why do you want to do that? Well, you could consider that, you know, you’re sacrificing this woman. No, what I mean by that is that even if she’s there with her boyfriend, you want to go over and have an innocent conversation with her. And you have to disarm her defenses really quickly. And I’ll tell you why you want to have this conversation with her. But the first thing you want to do is disarm her offenses because she’s used to it, if she’s that hot or if she’s the hottest girl in the place, and she knows that she’s used to everybody hitting on her, or she’s there with a boyfriend, or she has a boyfriend, or she’s whatever.

How to get a girl’s attention

So, you walk up and you say, Hey, hi, I just noticed this blouse you’re wearing. I have a girlfriend that I have to get a present for. And I know that she likes your style of clothing. Can you tell me where you got that? Okay, yeah. And this does a couple of things. One, I have a girlfriend, okay, meaning I’m not here to hit on you. So she’s relaxed. And you’re talking to her about something that all women love talking about fashion, so she’s going to want to get into that conversation with you and show you what an expert she is. And you’ve given her a compliment on her outfit. Man, I really like your sense of style. You really remind me of, you know, my sister and this kind of stuff she wears, or what does my girlfriend have to get a president for? Can you tell me a little bit about that? You know, it looks really expensive, and she’ll tell you how she got a great deal on it and everything. And what’s going on here is that the other woman in the room is just you talking to her confidently and at ease, and she is engaged in you. And this is your own social proof right off the bat. And because if this hot chick knows you, is willing to talk to you, is having a great conversation with you, or anything like that, you know, this is why I say sometimes if women are in the friend zone, leave them there and use them to your advantage. Yeah, I

Sean 

I was just thinking that this sounds kind of like going to the club with a couple of really hot friends of yours. Females. And that’s like the instant social proof when you walk in and all the other girls are there. I know that when I’m with my girlfriends from home, I always have an easier time meeting other girls there and getting girls home.

J.D. Dallas 

Yeah, isn’t that crazy? You know, like, when you’re single. You’re like, Man, I really want a girlfriend. And you can’t get one. Or if you have a girlfriend? It seems like everybody wants you.

Sean 

Yeah, yeah. When I was saying girlfriend back then, I was referring to friends that are girls, but you consider them girls. Yeah, that’s the exact same way, you know, and it’s funny.

J.D. Dallas 

Oh, yeah. I mean, when you get married, you know you have every opportunity in the world. It seems like you can’t take it. But so you don’t have your wing woman, if you will, with you, and maybe you have your buddy, or you’re by yourself. So you just walk up and create a wingwoman with a good-looking girl in the room. And by telling her that you have a girlfriend, it doesn’t mean that you still can’t get her. But just don’t worry about it. You know, you’re sacrificing this one woman to open up the entire rest of the room to women. And what you need to do while you’re talking to her is casually look around the room and make eye contact with at least one other woman to make sure that at least one woman saw you talking to her and that you smile at her. And then go back to your conversation. Okay? And what you’re going to do after you’re done talking about where to get this kickass blouse at this great price, and she’s going to love it, and what size is she, and all that other shit, too, man, great talking to you. I’m JD; what’s your name, Selena? Nice to meet you. Blah, blah, blah. And you’re going to go over to the woman that you made eye contact with. And you say, Hi, my name is JD. And you know, I noticed you when I was talking to my good friend over there. And I thought you looked really interesting. And I just wanted to come over and say hi. And what you’ve done here is let her know that that other girl is your good friend. She’s not your girlfriend. But you’re basically single. Okay. And I was standing with her. And I noticed you, and I know you noticed me because we made eye contact. Now, at this point, you’ve gone from the hottest girl in the room to another good-looking woman. And this is within 10 minutes of walking into the place.

Sean 

Yeah, I was going to say that’s probably the biggest part. A lot of guys go out and they’ll wait, you know, have a few drinks. And they’ll wait, and they might get into their own heads. But this is what I like about this: it’s kind of taking a very proactive approach. Yeah, it’s one, it’s proactive, because you walk in right in and you’re bam, obviously, it’s going to take some willpower. And you might have to force yourself to do it the first couple of times. But I think that the fact that approaching the first girl without any outcome dependency and just completely harmlessly and innocently and not trying to get her number, anything, really takes the pressure off, gets you into the social mindset, and that exact roll off of it

J.D. Dallas 

Yeah, yeah. And all kinds of benefits. And most of them, you just touched on them, you know. And now you’re conversing with this second girl. And then you do the same thing. You look around and try to make eye contact with someone. And even if you don’t, and if this conversation with Trixie now doesn’t go that well, Or even if it does, you’re still going to move on to another woman in the room and say, Hey, I was just talking with my good friend over there. And then point to super hottie about getting my sister, make sure you say sister this time, a blouse. And she said that I should go to Baba Boss’s store; what do you think about them? Okay.

The power of talking to women

And here you are again. And you’re just going to keep repeating this process. And this gets you in to talk to every woman in the room. And every woman in the room sees you talking to every woman in the room, which instantly elevates your social status and makes you more desirable. And lights a fire of competitiveness. Yeah. That’s thinking, Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Women are very competitive. That’s why when they see a hot chick, maybe she’s had breast augmentation or something, they always lean over and say, Oh, What a bitch! Look at those. I wonder what she paid for those. Well, she could probably be the nicest person in the world. They don’t know that. They’re just jealous. They’re just competitive. And that’s why women say and do those things. You know, that’s why they look at your Facebook account. And who the fuck is this? You know? And even the hottest girl in the world is insecure about how she looks. And

Sean 

I don’t know if you asked. That’s the one thing I forgot to ask. That was the best question. I actually forgot to ask all the user questions because we got into such a detailed conversation between me and Kezia that it just flowed. And then after the episode, I was like, Oh, I didn’t even ask any of the questions people sent.

J.D. Dallas 

For those of you who don’t know, we’re talking about going back and listening to Sean’s interview with this really, really beautiful We’re all in it basically, like, Hey, yeah, yeah, what’s it take to talk to a perfect 10? Or something like that? And yeah, she actually

Sean 

gives some great, really great advice. I really liked that show.

J.D. Dallas 

Oh, cool. Yeah, well, there you go. Hopefully, everybody’s listening to everything—all your podcasts, you know,

Sean 

We’re doing well. We’re doing well. Good.

J.D. Dallas 

So this is a way to instantly establish your social value. Okay.

Hitting on single girls

And even if you don’t want to hit on women that night or you’re nervous about it, it gives you a great topic, and in talking to people, you’re asking their advice, and you’re talking about your friends, you know, you’re showing that I’m not alone, stalker, okay, here to hit on all the single girls, I have friends and I have beautiful friends, and I’m not hitting on you, I’m just kind of asking your advice, in your opinion, you know, by the way, I’m JD, you know, and maybe you hit it off. But even if you’re the type of guy that likes to wait till later in the evening or get a few drinks, you’ve planted the seed in multiple women’s minds, and they’ve had a conversation with you early, and all that stuff. And now, when you’re sitting back, what most guys do is, you know, survey the room and try to see if anybody’s looking at him. Now, you know, you have interest if a woman you’ve already talked to is looking at you. And I really, really encourage guys, you know, to try this food without an outcome-based motive. And the only outcome we want here is to learn and to get comfortable. It’s just like hitting a baseball; you have to go into the batting cage, and you have to have swung at some pitches to be able to hit the ball.nd it’s, you know, funny because that’s why they call it striking out when you don’t hook up with a woman. You can’t walk into a club and then wait till the last second and then hope you’re going to hit a home run; you need to practice. You know, there are some other scenarios that are going to come up; you’re going to see as I said, two women together, a group of women, or a mixed group. And one of the things that you want to do with a mixed group of people is this. This kind of goes back to high school, you know, like, You’re outside the clique; why are you outside the clique? Well, you haven’t inserted yourself into it. Okay, you’re outside for as long as you want to be. So walk up and introduce yourself. And I talked to 17- and 18-year-old guys all the time. And they’re just like, Everything’s so Clicky. And I’m not with the cool people on the cycle, and I should start, you know, being with them. And the way you do that is with a large group of people, right? Or three guys and two girls, something.

How do you know the host?

Maybe they’re all platonic friends. Maybe two of them are a couple, maybe the other guy is a third wheel; you don’t know. But one of the things that you can ask him is, How do you guys all know each other? You guys, you guys come here in LA? Is this a great place? Or how do you know the host? If you’re at a party, How do you guys know the host? You know where you’re from? I’m JD, you know. We went to high school with a moan about you. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And how do you guys all know each other? Oh, this is my girlfriend, Sandy. Okay, boom, she’s out. You know, and this is done by adding it out? And when you find out, do you know who the couples are? so you can pare down your efforts. That’s a great technique. You know, like I said, if you’re at a party, how do you guys know the host? And then know about? How did you guys meet? How do you guys know each other? People love to tell you about how they met, you know? And you can have a conversation with anybody. You know, one of my favorite things to do just to be, again, socially proven at a party or at a club or at a cookout, or whatever it is, is take obvious couples and introduce yourself to them and say I was just curious. How did you guys meet? You two appear to be a very nice couple. People, especially couples and girls, love to talk about how they met, and they will open up and light up and have this really personal conversation with you. And this is a great way to just be a great conversationalist. And I guarantee you that at the end of the night, when they go home and they think back on this party and everything we had, JD was a really nice guy, and you didn’t do anything but sit there and listen to them talk about their favorite subject themselves. Yeah,

Sean 

yeah. And I’m really loving what you’re saying here. Because out of all the stuff that I’ve listened to and talked to, it’s all about how to approach a girl. You know how to approach a girl, bam, and like, but not It’s not like this is like a full night, like how to go about everything; you know how to. It’s like a formula, because, you know, there are those guys out there who are naturally charismatic, and, you know, you’ve seen them; they’re talking to everyone, and they’re having a great time. and most people aren’t like that. And this is how you love the formula for how to do that.

J.D. Dallas 

Absolutely. You’re 100%. Correct. And I like how you said, You see those guys that are out there doing their work in the room, Bob, about how you do it. You know, let’s say there’s a group of girls; this is one of my favorites. And I’ll even give you a topic here. I like to go up to three or more women and say, Hey, ladies, oh, my God, I need a female opinion on this. And they’re all going to perk right up because they love to give their opinion. All right. And then pause for a second to create a little tension. That’s kind of a side tip there. But look, man, if, let’s say, a girl went through her boyfriend’s email, or Facebook, or whatever it is, And she saw a bunch of stuff in there that made her upset that her boyfriend was talking to his ex-girlfriend. But that’s not really the point, you know, is this something that you would break up with somebody over, and they will go off on this, because, first of all, they have either looked at their boyfriend’s phone, or their boyfriend’s Facebook, or their boyfriend’s email, or somebody has done it to them, especially in this day and age where everybody has their own device with them all the time. And it’s a great way, you know, and it’s our main way of communicating, flirting, meeting people—everything’s online. So if you’re with someone and you’re insecure, you’re going to check up on him. And they’re going to have an opinion on this. And they’re also going to think that your girlfriend checked your email and that you’re thinking about dumping her. And, and I know this, because nine times out of 10, they’ll be like, Well, if your girlfriend caught you, in no way, wait, I didn’t say it was my girlfriend. So let them know that you’re single. Okay. And they’re going to say, Oh, my God, this happened to me, you know, and blah, blah, and the whole group is going to get going. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. And they’re all going to have an opinion on it, so it leads to a great conversation where you don’t have to think about what you’re going to say next. And what you’re doing here is using a technique called eliciting values from these women. They are telling you who they are. And some women will say, Well, I don’t think it’s that big a deal. And you can automatically assume that they’ve probably done this because, you know, they’re insecure or they’re the jealous type.

What to do when you’re in the middle of the conversation

But here’s what you want to do while you’re having this conversation: Okay, you’re in the middle of it; just stop and go. Oh, by the way, my name is JD. Who are you guys, you know? Maybe even how do you all know each other? And then it goes off in another direction. But it’s important to elicit values from them. Because let’s say out of these four or five girls, there’s one that you want to hit on, this one that you want to get her phone number and this one that you want to get between the sheets with. The wrong thing to do, Shawn, is to walk up and try to separate her from her friends. Cold because the friends are, if you heard the term cock block, yeah, okay, they have perfected it. It’s girls night out. And she’s the fucking hot one, and everybody always hits on the hot one. Get the fuck out of here, Charlie. Okay, not going to happen. And so most guys have done this, and they don’t even bother approaching groups of women anymore because they always get blocked. Well, once you have everyone engaged, okay, the one that you want to hit on and isolate from the group Make sure you pay attention to one thing that she says or one value that she says okay, and also show a lot more attention to the obviously less attractive woman or women in the group and tell them, Man, you are right on high five. That’s exactly what I thought you knew, and you became buddies with the obvious cockblocking women. Okay, don’t show as much attention to your target girl, but pay attention to what she says. Because it’s going to come into play later. Okay? Once you’ve established a rapport and that you’re okay, and like, hey, let’s all do a shot, you know, and Baba blah, and you have this conversation with them and you agree with them and you’re high-fiving them and all that stuff, You know, and you can even say my friend over there is his girlfriend. And now, from this point on, you can isolate your woman. Okay? And this is after, like I said, you’ve engaged everybody and proven yourself with everybody. And you’ve elicited values from everybody.

separating the hot girl from her cock blocking friends

You say, Look, I need to borrow her for two minutes. I promise I’ll bring her right back. And they’re like, yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead; you have their blessing. But this point, I know, this is true. Because this is how I do it. This is how I’ve done it. You know, this is how I used to just go and go, Hey, how are you doing? and turn my back to their friends and the friends, man? They are shooting you daggers from their eyes, you know? Yeah. So it’s insane. So you say I need to borrow her for two minutes? Man, uh, bring it right back, I promise. And you just take her aside—not too far away. And the other girls aren’t going to care at this point. And now you want to make a connection with this girl based on her values. And as I said, pay attention to one thing that she said. You know, man, I just wanted to tell you that I really felt strongly about what you said about blank. And I don’t think I could agree more with you on that. You’re obviously really sensitive to that, you know, and make this connection with her, you know, about something that is of value to her, that she made a moral judgment on, and agree with her, you know, and just tell her how, man, we’re like kindred souls, you know, and not on, we both wore a blue shirt, you know, that’s bullshit. It’s on this important issue, you know, this thing of importance. And that’s when you say, You know, obviously, now’s not the time; you need to get back to your friends. And I’ve got to get back to my buddy, but I would love to continue this conversation with you. Give me your number. Yeah, but bam, not That’s how you handle that situation. You know, the same thing works with two girls. You know, there’s Brunhilda. And there’s Trixie, and you want to get with Trixie and go over and make friends with Brunhilda? You know, you have to get Brunhilda’s blessing. Or it’s over. Did they plan on going out together? You know, you’ve got to put yourself in their mindset. What’s he want? How long is it going to take? Is he hitting on my heart because this happens to me all the time? Bullshit, okay? And never give that much attention to the woman that you want to hit on. Because she’s also going to awaken her man, why is he not looking at me? Because every time someone talks to us, they always try to hit on me. And he’s talking to her; you know, she can be thinking this internally.

The power of the indirect opening

And it’s going to get her curious about you. So, what we talked about, I guess, just to summarize, and I’m sorry, I got to run because I got another appointment soon, is different ways to start different conversations and start to work a room and prove yourself socially as the alpha in the room. And even if you’re, you know, in your email scenario, the conversation with the group of girls doesn’t go well. Other women in the room are going to see you commanding a group of women, and they’re all animated, and they’re all having fun with you. You can’t underestimate the power of that. And it’s like you said, you walk into, like, man, those dudes over there just laughing it up with those chicks? How does he know so many checks?

Sean 

Yeah, no, you have done an incredible job at laying this out in a step-by-step process that anyone can follow and use to become that charismatic guy, that guy that everyone knows in the room and everyone’s looking at, no matter who you are, because there’s no pressure involved. You’re using what a lot of guys rely on in their indirect opening. And like every station, they use that during everyday life, and then they try to transition right away to, like, getting your number. And I don’t really like that. And I never liked indirect openings. And he was always a direct guy. But I love how you use indirect opening early in the night—no outcome dependency—just to get the social proof to everyone to connect with everyone in the room, and then you can go back and do whatever you want. Because you know Everyone knows that you’re a social guy.

J.D. Dallas 

Absolutely. And nine times out of 10. Again, competitive nature, women; if there are single women there, they’re going to start to gravitate toward you. You don’t have to go hit on him. But they’re not. They’re not going to do that based on your looks. I don’t care. There are maybe two guys on the planet that are that good-looking. We ate them. Okay. Yeah. So we know

Sean 

them. I know one of them. It doesn’t help that much. You’d be amazed.

J.D. Dallas 

It’ll get you an interview. Yeah, you know.

Sean 

Yeah, but you know, yeah, he’s

J.D. Dallas 

handsome. Oh, but he is still a jerk. Yeah. Okay. And it does not matter what you look like. I mean, how many times have you seen really beautiful women walking down the street? You’re like, She’s with that guy?

Sean 

Yeah, hold on so much. It’s crazy. Like, how

J.D. Dallas 

did Oh, you must be rich, you know? Or he must have something. Yeah. Trying to keep it. PG 13. Yeah. So, man, I’m sorry if I dominated the conversation, but I want to

Sean 

hear them. You know, you know what you’re talking about. I have no input here. I’m so grateful that you’re dishing out this information to everyone for free. Because this is amazing.

J.D. Dallas 

Well, and that’s what it is—it is for free. And this is what I do. You know, to make my living, I do get paid for this. And I’m happy to share this with you. And if you or your listeners want more information, there’s tons of free advice at monitormylifestyle.com. And there are also some paid programs that you can download. It’s me basically doing what I’m doing right now for two to three hours on different subjects. You know, with no commercials, no bullshit, just straight to the point. And you can download that crap and listen to it.

Sean 

I think I’m actually going to have to hit you up for those because I haven’t as of yet, and I’m really interested in hearing everything you have to say because this was really eye-opening. And I plan on using this right away.

J.D. Dallas 

Okay, I’m going to give you most of what I just told you in my audio program: complete conversation technique and the art of the pickup line. The complete conversation technique goes into detail about how to talk to anybody. And these are just—I think I gave you two or three scenarios here. Yeah. You know, a girl walking down the street, a girl at the gym, public transportation, you name it. And just teach people in general how to become better conversationalists. So I’ll send you something. I’ll send you a link, and you can listen to one of my audios and see what you think of my delivery.

Sean 

Yeah, absolutely. And everything that we talked about here will be linked to in the show notes at menpermit.com/mop 013. So I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I did. Thanks so much for coming on. JD, and you’re welcome here whenever you want.

J.D. Dallas 

And Shawn, it’s always a pleasure, and thanks for what you do for men. provident. I really love it.

Sean 

I absolutely did. Thank you.

Menprovement Podcast 

Thanks for listening to the Menprove podcast with Sean Russell. Get more episodes, more tips, and download our free self-improvement eBooks at WWW dot Menprovement.com.