<!DOCTYPE html>


#1 Method: How to Get My Girlfriend in the Mood

blonde woman with red lipstick biting her lips

Table of Contents

After a hectic day at the office, you return home hoping for an exciting evening with your girlfriend. However, once again you hear those familiar words: “I’m not feeling it today.

“I’m not feeling it today.”

You are wondering if this is your fault. And Googling “how to get my girlfriend in the mood? You’re not alone, man! It’s a common puzzle, but lucky for you, I’ve got the answers. 

Dive into this guide, and let’s turn those question marks into exclamation points.

key takeaways

  • Master her mood with real, actionable intimacy tips. 🔥
  • Words matter: spicy talk boosts bedroom vibes.
  • Surprise elements? Game-changer for her arousal!
  • Physical affection and authenticity: the winning combo. 🚀

Is it your fault?

A man looking worried

Maybe, but probably not “wrong” in the way you’re thinking. The game of love is more like a dance, and sometimes you might be offbeat. It’s not always about what you’re doing but HOW you’re doing it. 

How to Spark Crazy Sexual Desire By Your Girlfriend

Getting the mood right is a fine art, a blend of understanding, technique, and a dash of unpredictability. What I’m about to unveil is a tried-and-tested approach, which I’ve personally named “The Desire Dance.” (Yep, I’m that creative.) 

Here’s the “Desire Dance” breakdown:

  • Switch On the Moment: It’s all about the here and now.
  • Sensational Foreplay: No rush.
  • Talk seductively: Use your bedroom voice
  • Take the lead: Be dominant
  • Try toys: Spice things up with toys

Alright, let’s dive into the juicy details. 

Step 1: Heat Things Up Now

Okay, step one is all about sexual arousal. Think of the last time you walked into a room and felt super confident. Remember that vibe? Channel it. Women’s sexual motivation is like a fine-tuned instrument.

Next time you’re out shopping, pick up a cologne with hints of musk or sandalwood. These scents trigger sexual arousal. Who knew? Well, I did, but that’s beside the point. 😜
Sean Russell
Founder, CEO | Menprovement

Smelling like a boss, walk up to her from behind and give her a gentle kiss (preferably on the neck). The key here is the word “gentle, which brings us to the next point.

Step 2: Don’t Rush Foreplay

Foreplay, my man, is like the appetizer before the main course. You wouldn’t dive straight into a steak without some bread and butter, would you? 

Sexual desire isn’t just about the act but the journey. Tease, touch, talk. Make her feel sexy. Tell her how amazing she looks, give her a massage, or just hold her close. 

Ever read 50 Shades of Grey? It is extremely detailed because women love the buildup to the sex sometimes even more than the sex itself.

Whispering sweet nothings can do wonders. I once whispered about my dream of starting a potato-themed amusement park—not the sexiest topic, but she laughed, and it broke the ice.

Sleep increases sex hormones. So, if she’s well-rested, she’s more likely to be in the mood. Perhaps suggest an early night once in a while. 😉
Sean Russell
Founder, CEO | Menprovement


Step 3: Use a Sexy Voice

Using a lower, sultry tone can be incredibly seductive. The first time I tried this, I accidentally sounded like I had swallowed a frog, but with a bit of practice, I nailed it. 😅 

When you use a deeper tone, it often conveys confidence and can heighten sexual arousal. You don’t have to go, full Batman, just a shade deeper than your normal voice. 

A whispered compliment or two, especially about how sexy she looks, can be a game-changer. It subtly communicates your sexual desire without you having to scream it from the rooftops.

Step 4: Lead the Way

Being in control can be powerful and a turn-on. But reading the room (or the bedroom, in this case) is crucial. There’s a fine line between confidence and overconfidence. What I mean by this is that you shouldn’t smash her on the bed and rip her pants off (unless you are 100% sure she is into that).

But taking control in the bedroom can be a sign of confidence, and many women find that irresistibly attractive. When you lead with authority, but always with respect, it can be a real boost to sexual arousal. It shows you’re invested in her pleasure and confident in your own desires.2

Learn More >>> The Law of Attration: How Does it Work?

Step 5: Explore Fun Toys

We’ve all had those moments when we’ve thought about spicing things up, right? Once, I tried adding hot sauce to my morning coffee…and, well, let’s just say I was awake for the next 48 hours. 😅 

But when it comes to the bedroom, introducing toys and a sprinkle of kink can be the hot sauce your sex life needs. Most girlfriends already have some of them themselves, so why not make her happy and ask if she brings them along next time?

Firstly, shake off any taboo vibes. Sex toys are tools, just like a good wrench in a toolkit (though please, for the love of all things good, don’t mix up the two). 

They’re designed to enhance pleasure and can be a fun way to connect and explore other’s boundaries and desires. From vibrators to cuffs to blindfolds, there’s a smorgasbord of options out there.

20 Ways to Set Her Mood Right

Romantic bedroom with candles

Before you jump to conclusions, we’re not in the mood to discuss whose turn it is to do the dishes. 

Nope, we’re diving deep into the world of passion and sex. So fasten your f*cking seat belt, buddy, because you’re about to become the ultimate mood maestro.

#1 Set a Bedroom Vibe

Think of soft lighting, cozy blankets, and maybe some slow tunes in the background. A scented candle or two can go a long way toward elevating the sexual setting. Keeping the room neat and clutter-free signals you care about the space you share with her. 

A little lavender on the pillowcase can not only set the tone but also ensure a good night’s sleep. Double win!
Sean Russell
Founder, CEO | Menprovement

#2 Make Chatting Spicy

You want your conversation to naturally evolve into flirtier territory. Compliment her on her looks, tease her a bit, and, if you’ve been reading up on some sex research, share some fun facts. 

Did you know the treatment and research foundation found that talking openly can boost sexual arousal?3

#3 Make Her Feel Sexy in a Sexy Outfit

a gorgeous blonde woman in a sexy outfit

You might think that the leather jumpsuit with the zippers looks great, but does she? Maybe start with something a bit more subtle, like a beautiful lace camisole or a flirty skirt. The key is to buy something that she’ll feel sexy in. 

And hey, if you’re feeling brave, throw in some cute lingerie. Just keep the receipt, just in case…

#4 Try Something New

If your idea of shaking things up is switching from white to wheat bread, we need to chat. Take a different route during your evening walk, try a new restaurant, or even experiment with a new type of cuisine at home. The idea is to break the monotony. 

A small change can lead to increased vaginal blood flow (yep, it’s a thing) and spark things up in the bedroom. 🚀

#5 Be a Gentleman

Remember the good old days when opening doors and pulling out chairs was the norm? Let’s bring that back! Small gestures like this show her that you’re considerate and attentive. Compliment her genuinely. 

Tell her she looks stunning when she does. And maybe, just maybe, don’t burp the alphabet after dinner. Trust me on this one.

#6 Talk Heart-to-Heart

guy talking to girl in the park

Listen, I know at Menprovement we are often seen as the stoic types. But sharing how you feel, your dreams, your fears, and everything in between can make you more approachable.

It also deepens the emotional bond. When she sees this side of you, it can lead to more sex and a stronger connection. 

This can definitely work to your advantage but on the flip side, you don’t want her to see you as a pussy because she already has one.
Sean Russell
Founder, CEO | Menprovement

#7 Touch Her Softly

Here’s a personal gem from my playbook. Ever notice how a simple touch can set the whole mood? When I say touch, I’m not talking about a macho smack on the back. No, I’m hinting at those gentle caresses and soft brushes. 

Try running your fingers through her hair or tracing the back of her hand. Did you know that subtle touches can increase vaginal blood flow? 

That’s right, sex research has our backs here.4 Start slow, be genuine, and you’ll have her sexually aroused in no time. It’s like turning the thermostat up but with your hands. 🔥

#8 Make a Romantic Dinner

There’s a reason why they say the way to someone’s heart is through their stomach. Now, I’m no Gordon Ramsay, but I once cooked spaghetti for a date, and let’s just say the evening took a beautiful turn. 

A cozy, home-cooked meal can change the entire sexual setting. Put on some soft music, light a few candles, and prepare her favorite dish. And if you’re feeling a little adventurous, try something overtly sexual like oysters or chocolate.

Don’t forget the wine! 🍷

#9 Buy Something

Gifts don’t have to be grand or expensive. I remember getting my girl a pair of funky socks she mentioned offhandedly, and the smile on her face was priceless. It’s the thought that counts. Maybe she mentioned a book she’s keen on, or there’s a perfume she’s been eyeing. 

Surprise her. 

These gestures show her you listen and appreciate her, setting a positive sex mood. And who knows, maybe more sex?

#10 Shower Together

Here’s a pro tip: 

Nothing says intimacy like a shared shower. The warm water, the steam, the soap – it’s like a mini spa day. And it’s also eco-friendly, saving water and all. 🔥

Plus, it’s an excellent opportunity for those sensual touches we talked about in point #7. Remember to keep it playful and not push any boundaries. A shared shower can be both relaxing and a gateway to being sexually aroused. 

#11 Always Show Love

Okay, real talk.

Telling her you love her while you’re playing Grand Theft Auto? Not cool. Look her in the eyes, hold her close, and genuinely express your feelings. I once told my girlfriend I loved her while we watched a sunrise together.

It wasn’t planned, the moment just felt right. Genuine expressions of love can boost those sex hormones like nothing else. It’s like giving your relationship a supercharge.⚡

#12 Snuggle Up

Once, during a chilly night, I just snuggled up with my partner under a blanket. No intentions, just some good old-fashioned cuddling. You know what? It was pure magic. Physical affection, like cuddling, can deeply influence feelings deeply. It’s said that many women equate cuddling with more relationship satisfaction. 

By just holding her close, and feeling her heartbeat, you can activate the sympathetic nervous system, paving the way for a mood for sex.5

And here’s a bonus: You get to feel the warmth of her naked body.

#13 Give Her a Real Kiss

Gentleman in suit kissing a woman in a photobooth

I’ve kissed a few frogs in my time, but when you nail that perfect kiss, trust me, it’s fireworks. A passionate kiss isn’t just about the lips; it’s about the entire experience.

Hold her face, lean in slowly, and seal it with intensity. It’s been shown that one in three women considers deep kissing as a turn-on, potentially leading to greater overall relationship quality. It’s like the appetizer before the main course.6

#14 Chat About Sex

Talking about fantasies, dirty talk, or even discussing watching porn together can be exciting. In fact, many women find it arousing when their partner is open to discussing their desires. 

Heck, I once opened up about fantasy, and it became one of our favorite scenarios. Communication is sexy, guys!

#15 Dessert in Bed? Why Not!

One summer evening, I surprised my lady with strawberries and whipped cream in bed. Sounds cliché? Maybe. 

But the way those berries and cream were… utilized, it wasn’t just about satisfying our sweet tooth, if you catch my drift. Serving dessert in bed can be a playful and erotic way to set the stage. And who knows where the night will lead once the plates are empty?

#16 More Foreplay Time

woman licking her lips

Here’s some man-to-man advice. If you rush the starter, the main course won’t be as delightful. Incorporating erotic massage, more physical affection, or even introducing sex toys can be game changers. 

Did you know extending foreplay can lead to more relationship satisfaction? It allows you both to explore and understand each other’s bodies. 

Trust me, patience in the bedroom is a virtue every man should master. 

Squirting Triggers
  • Become a SEX GOD and better than 99.99% of other men.
  • Watch her become addicted to the orgasms only YOU can give her.
  • Guaranteed to work on ALL women.

#17 Compliment Her

I remember that once, I told my lady that her eyes were like “deep oceans” and she replied, 

“Which one, the Pacific or the Atlantic?” 😂 

Jokes aside, compliments are a subtle form of flirting that can significantly enhance intimacy. But what’s the catch? Be very specific. Instead of saying, 

“You look nice,”


“The way that dress hugs your curves makes me appreciate the wonders of the universe.” 

It not only boosts her confidence but also strengthens her emotional connection. See the magic when you recognize the small details of her person’s body. It’s not just sweet talk, it’s an investment in your relationship’s sex drive.

Learn More >>> 23+ Signs She’s Flirting With You. 😏

#18 Handle with Care

Real men know when to be gentle. Think of it as the bike ride before the race; it helps get rid of those libido-killing jitters.

Enhancing intimacy doesn’t always require grand gestures; sometimes, it’s about the gentle caress or the soft whispers in her ear. Prior research (yes, I’m a man who reads research foundations on love) suggests that gentle touches control arousal and foster an emotional connection.7

#19 Try Role-Playing

Role-playing isn’t just about naughty things; it’s a ticket to such novel activities that reignite passion. Depending on how adventurous she’s feeling, you can explore different scenarios.

Research shows role-playing can revitalize sexual activity and make you enjoy sex like it’s the first time. Nurse and patient? Pizza delivery guy?8

Let your imagination run wild.

#20 Watch or Read Sexy Stuff

I once tried reading an erotic novel out loud, but I couldn’t get past the first page without laughing. Good times! 😂 

But seriously, watching a sensual movie scene or reading an erotic novel can provoke a physiological response that’s great for getting her aroused. Scary movies can also serve this purpose due to the adrenaline rush. 

Think of it as a taste treatment to bring your connection to a sexual level. And if reading’s not your thing, there’s always something spicy on the silver screen.

If you haven’t watched 50 Shades of Grey with your girlfriend, I highly recommend watching it. 
Sean Russell
Founder, CEO | Menprovement

Grab some popcorn and let the atmosphere heat up

Wrapping Up 

Intimacy is a two-way street. For a thriving sex life, invest time in understanding your partner’s needs and preferences. From genuine compliments to exploring new adventures in the bedroom, small gestures can ignite passion. 

If you want to take things to the next level, join Menprovement X, where we teach you how to make your girlfriend squirt and give her a sexual experience that will have her begging for more. 



Focus on intimacy, emotional connection, and understanding her desires and cues.

Listen actively, be understanding, introduce romantic gestures, and communicate openly.

Offer support, give her space if needed, and engage in activities she loves.

Emotional connection, spontaneous romantic gestures, and understanding of her specific turn-ons.


  1. Suni, E., & Suni, E. (2024, February 14). The relationship between sex and sleep. Sleep Foundation. ↩︎
  2. Want to Feel More Confident in the Bedroom? Start with This. Psychology Today.
  3. Benson, E. S. (n.d.). The science of sexual arousal. apa.org. ↩︎
  4. Vaginal blood flow during sexual stimulation. (1980, November 1). PubMed. ↩︎
  5. Evidence for a curvilinear relationship between sympathetic nervous system activation and women’s physiological sexual arousal. NCBI ↩︎
  6. Kissing during sex: Is it important? (2020, November 10). Flo.health – #1 Mobile Product For Women’s Health. ↩︎
  7. Portnova, G. V., Проскурнина, Е. В., Sokolova, S. V., Skorokhodov, I. V., & Varlamov, A. (2020). Perceived pleasantness of gentle touch in healthy individuals is related to salivary oxytocin response and EEG markers of arousal. Experimental Brain Research, 238(10), 2257–2268. ↩︎
  8. Wikipedia contributors. (2023c, December 22). Sexual roleplay. Wikipedia. ↩︎

Did you enjoy this article?

If you did, and you want to take your abilities with women to the next level – we’re proud to announce that Yuval Mann, Menprovements head sex expert has launched his new sexual training course for men.

Knowing how to sexually pleasure women is one of the most powerful ways to create deep confidence with the women you find attractive. You’ll know that you can give her sexual pleasure like she’s never felt before.

The course is unlike anything else on the web and will put you in the top 1% of men in the bedroom : ) You’ll be able to satisfy women better than anyone she’s ever been with and give her the powerful orgasms that NO other guy can give her.

how to eat pussy

This is the best online course for becoming amazing in bed that I have ever tried guys. I highly recommend it – there is no risk, only rewards. Just ask my wife : )

Meet The Author:


Our evaluations are conducted by a group of specialists based on actual experiences before they are penned down. To learn more read our Editorial Methodology.

Several links in this piece might be affiliated, meaning we may receive a commission at no extra charge to you if you opt for a paid service. We fully support and have personally tried these products. This website is not designed to offer financial or medical guidance. For more info read our affiliate disclosure and privacy policy.

Table of Contents

I Help Shy Guys Get The Girl

get better with women

We’ve teamed up with dating expert John Cooper to bring you what we believe to be the best dating training for men (ever)

Are you ready to find your dream girl?

john cooper

John Cooper


Attraction is not really about looks – it’s about energy. And anyone can master it. 💦

I help men become magnetic, regardless of looks or social status by using 6 energetic principles. When you master these – you become irresistible to even the most attractive women.

Learn them all in my latest eBook, for free.

Unlock Your Potential: Dive into the 12 Game-Changing Habits That Turn Boys Into Men Beasts

The 12 Habits That Turn Boys Into Men Beasts