How to Get My Girlfriend to Lose Weight Without Drama

How to Get My Girlfriend to Lose Weight Without Drama

Table of Content

Have you ever walked up to a woman and told her straight in the face that she’s fat? The answer is probably no, and if it is yes, you are a savage.

You are probably wondering why I am asking such an obvious question. Let’s face it, from a societal standpoint, men are not allowed to tell a woman she’s fat. It’s considered extremely rude.

But how on earth do you get your girlfriend to lose weight if you can’t tell her she’s becoming a little bit chubby?

Lucky for you, I have survived this trap myself and helped my girlfriend lose over 15 pounds without breaking her heart. Read on to learn how you can achieve the same results.

key takeaways

  • Lead by example
  • Build a simple home gym to make exercising a no-brainer
  • Create a healthier shopping list

Why do Some Women get Fat in a Relationship?

obese woman

Alright, let’s get real for a second. Have you ever gone to an all-you-can-eat buffet and, well, ate all you could? Sometimes, relationships can feel like a never-ending buffet. The comfort, the happiness, the “Hey, who cares if I eat that extra slice of pizza?” 🍕

#1 The Comfort Zone Effect

When women (and men too) get into a relationship, especially a marriage, there’s this comfort bubble. It’s kind of like wearing your old college sweatpants; you know, the ones with that unexplainable stain?

There’s a sense of security. 

The need to continuously impress dwindles. After all, you’ve both seen each other at your best and your morning zombie worst.

#2 Shared Meals

Dating and marriage often involve dinners, brunches, and late-night snacks. You’re ordering that double cheeseburger with fries? She might just follow suit. It’s a domino effect…

#3 Decreased Activity

Remember the early dating days? 

The hiking trips, the dancing, the long walks? As relationships mature, Netflix nights often replace these activities. And we all know how one episode turns into ten… 🍿📺

#4 Emotional Factors

Some women might find solace in food when dealing with relationship stress or arguments. It’s the same reason I, regretfully, ate an entire tub of ice cream when my team lost the playoffs. Emotions, buddy. They’re tricky.

#5 The “Settled” Weight Myth

There’s a pervasive idea, especially post-marriage, that you’ve both “settled down.” The chase is over. 

The game has been won. 

So, maintaining the same physique isn’t a top priority. After all, she might think, 

“I’m not out to impress anyone anymore.” 

It’s a bit like buying a car and then not bothering with its maintenance because it’s safely in your garage.

Now, with all this said, it’s crucial to understand that if you’re concerned about her weight, it should be from a place of health and well-being, not aesthetics.

Talking Weight, Without Hurt


So, you’ve noticed your girlfriend has started to gain weight. A few kilos… Maybe even a few pounds, and you’re tiptoeing around a minefield, wondering how to address it. I’ve been there, my friend, and let me tell ya, it’s like that time I tried to change a tire in a suit – tricky, but not impossible. 🤷‍♂️

#1 Start with the man in the mirror

Before anything else, look inward. Ask yourself why you’re concerned. Is it about her health? Or societal standards? 

If you are a guy who has everything in place, You work hard, have some money, go to the gym, and are caring and loving to your girl. I think it is not crazy to expect your girlfriend to keep herself in shape.
CEO | Menprovement

#2 Pick the Right Moment

Imagine asking for a salary raise while your boss just found out one of his employees is stealing money—bad idea, right?

Similarly, pick a time when both of you are relaxed and open for a genuine conversation about losing weight. No distractions. Maybe after a heartwarming movie night. 🎥

#3 Praise, Then Point Out

Always start with the good stuff. 

“I love how confident you’ve been lately,” 


“You always look stunning to me.” 

Then, slide into the conversation by saying, 

“I’ve been thinking about us both adopting a healthier lifestyle. What do you think?”

This is way more gentle instead of busting in the door and saying something like 

“I think you are getting fat; can you lose weight? Thanks!”

#4 Be a team player

Instead of putting the spotlight solely on her, bring it back to “us.” Say, 

“I’ve been thinking about losing weight myself. How about we take this journey together?” 

Partner up for those gym sessions, make it a challenge, but keep it fun. I once made a bet with my partner on who could do the most squats. Spoiler alert: I lost. BUTT we both laughed and bonded.

#5 Focus on Health, Not Looks

Let’s face it: everyone fluctuates with weight. And men, in general, are more attracted to beauty than women. However, it can be a little bit rude to just tell her you want her to lose a few pounds just so she looks prettier.

It’s best to frame the conversation around health and vitality rather than looks. 

“I want us both to be healthy so we can grow really old together.”

Make Home a Safe Place

woman looking relaxed in a beautiful house

Let’s talk about making the home base a place that supports healthier choices. It’s a bit like turning your man cave into a health hub without losing the cool factor.

#1 Check Your Shopping List

Head to your fridge. What do you see? If it’s packed with ready-to-eat meals and sugary snacks, it’s time for an intervention. Next grocery shopping trip, make a list. Fill your cart with whole foods like lean meats, veggies, and fruits. 

If soda’s your vice, maybe swap it for sparkling water with a splash of lemon. If you are not sure what to buy; here is a handy infographic that has helped me swap those sugary snacks for healthy superfoods.👇🏼

healthy snacks swaps infographic

I once replaced my nightly ice cream habit with Greek yogurt and a dab of honey. At first, it was a shock, but now? I don’t miss the ice cream. 🍦➡️🍯

#2 A Critic-Free Space

Avoid comments on physical appearance, especially phrases like “she’s fat.” Remember, weight isn’t just about looks. With weight gain comes concerns like high blood pressure. Be understanding and create a space where health is the priority, not aesthetics.

A friend once told his partner, 


“Hey babe, I want us both to be around for each other for a long, long time. How about we start this weight loss journey together?” 

If you frame it this way you will encourage your girlfriend to lose weight, and you also tell her you want to grow old with her.

Isn’t that cute.

#3 Eat Healthy Together

Eating healthy together can strengthen bonds. Cook up some healthy meals together. Who knows? It might even turn into a fun date night.


I tried making spinach and chicken salad with my girlfriend. We ended up with dressing everywhere but the salad. A mess, yes, but a memorable, healthy evening.

Leading by Example

epic image of a muscular guy

Ever heard the saying, 

“Be the change you want to see?”

Well, it’s time to apply that to our lives, especially when it concerns helping our significant others with their health goals. 

Let me tell you a story

I’ve always been an early riser—like, annoyingly early. The type that greets the sunrise with a stretch and not a groan. 


Well, if I’m gonna preach about shedding a few pounds, I better walk the talk, right?

Every morning, my alarm goes off, and the first thing on my agenda? A solid breakfast! No, not sugary cereals, but the kind of healthy meals that actually taste good and fuel the day. I mean, have you ever tried a smoothie with spinach, banana, and a dash of peanut butter? Game changer.

Now, let’s talk gym.

Pumping iron and hitting the treadmill isn’t just to flex in the mirror (though, I do appreciate the occasional bicep admiration). It’s more about embodying that healthy behavior and creating a routine. Because let’s face it, if I lounged around all day munching on chips and then just told my girlfriend,

“Hey, maybe you should hit the gym?”

Well, that wouldn’t sit well, would it?

Imagine telling her about the dangers of gaining weight and high blood pressure while I’m munching on fries—that’s pretty hypocritical. 

The thing is, lads, if she sees me getting up early, putting in the effort, making those grocery shopping trips for greens, and not grumbling about it, it’s infectious. It sends a message that says, “If I can shed those few kilos, so can you,” without actually saying the dreaded words, “She’s fat.”

So, the lesson here? 

Show up, gear up, and lead the way. You’d be surprised at how much more impact your actions have than just words.

Build a simple home gym

woman running on treadmill in her home gym

Let’s be real; the thought of public gyms can be daunting. The first time I stepped into one, I felt a bit insecure. Surrounded by jacked dudes lifting weights that looked heavier than my entire body, while subtly comparing myself to other men – yikes. 

Credits: NoelDeyzel

That’s not the environment we want for someone who’s already wondering what she’s thinking about her own weight.

  1. Start with the Basics: You don’t need all the bells and whistles. A good set of resistance bands, a yoga mat, and maybe a pair of adjustable dumbbells. And trust me, those bands? They might look innocent, but they’ll make you work! 💪
  2. Jump Rope: Sounds childish? Think again! This bad boy can get the heart racing faster than realizing you forgot your anniversary. Plus, it’s a fun activity to do together, perhaps even challenge each other. First one to 100 jumps?
  3. Bike Ride: Now, while a stationary bike is an excellent addition and one of the best pieces of gym equipment for your weight loss journey, nothing beats the real deal. In the first few weeks, invite her for a bike ride. Make it about the journey and the outdoors, not just the exercise.

Here is a complete list of inexpensive equipment pieces I would buy for my home gym

  • Resistance Bands
  • Adjustable Dumbbells
  • Yoga Mat
  • Stationary Bike (second-handed)
  • Stability Ball
  • Kettlebells
  • Resistance Loops
  • Foam Roller
  • Pull-up Bar (door-mounted)
  • Sliders
  • Ankle Weights
  • Exercise Bench

You Might Want To Hire a Personal Trainer

personal trainer talking to a girl

You know, back in the day, I was absolutely clueless about the gym. Seriously, I thought a deadlift was something you only did when your car battery died. 🤷‍♂️ 

But then, as I saw a few extra pounds sneaking onto my body and found myself wanting to help my girlfriend lose a couple of those extra kilos too, I realized something – it’s essential to seek professional guidance.


Because while I find attractive the idea of being a self-made fitness guru, nothing beats the knowledge of a trained expert. 

A pro can guide you on what to eat, and how to exercise efficiently, and can help ensure that she’s on a healthy track too. In fact, my personal trainer actually inspired me to become one as well.

Plus, you know how in a relationship sometimes you can’t tell your girlfriend to “stop eating that third slice of pizza”? A trainer can. 😀

Celebrate the Good

Man, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from trying to get both myself and my girlfriend to shed a few extra kilos, it’s this: our bodies listen to encouragement, not criticism. 

Remember that time you aced something just because someone believed in you? That’s the magic of positive reinforcement.

So, when she’s hitting the gym or choosing a salad over fries, a simple 

“You look amazing!” 


“I’m proud of how committed you are to be healthy” 

can work wonders. And let’s be real; she’s doing it for her health, not just to be the “fit girlfriend.” A genuine compliment boosts confidence and motivation like nothing else. 

Final Thoughts

Understanding relationships can be tricky, especially when it involves sensitive topics like weight. It’s about more than just looks; it’s about mutual growth.

Start by leading by example, swap out the sugary foods for healthy ones, and go to the gym yourself before telling your girlfriend to go there. If she sees you putting in the work she is more likely to take action herself.

If you’re seeking direct and effective dating advice, sign up for Menprovement X, where professional coaches teach men REAL advice on women. 👇🏼



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Support her goals, engage in activities together, and create a healthy environment.

Approach with sensitivity, emphasizing health and joint activities, without body shaming.

It’s okay to prioritize health but avoid imposing aesthetics or body standards.

Promote healthy habits and engage in joint activities, avoiding direct criticism.

Evaluate his concerns, but prioritize your feelings and self-worth first.

Encourage joint workouts, introduce fun activities, and maintain a balanced diet together.


Our evaluations are conducted by a group of specialists based on actual experiences before they are penned down. For more information check out our editorial methodology.

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