So you want to know how to pick up girls.

You are definitely reading the right article. I’m a naturally introverted, shy guy who was absolutely unable to talk to a girl (unless I was drunk) for the first 21 years of my life.

But now – I know how to pick up girls better than I ever thought possible. In any situation. At any time.

This is my superpower.

In fact, I am now married to a magnificent woman who I met while walking down the street in Budapest.

I can say without a doubt, that learning how to pick up girls was one of the greatest decisions of my life.

And now – I am going to teach you how to do the same.

In this article I am going to teach you how to pick up girls better than ANY pick up artist on the planet.

And not only that, I am going to teach you how to do it without approach anxiety, without the fear of rejection and without becoming a pick up artist. Because that is NOT the goal here.

The goal is the be a whole, fulfilled, confident, and autonomous man without women – and from here to be able to invite the women you find attractive into your life (yes, by hitting on them).

It’s 2022. Leave the outdated methods of pick up behind and let’s begin your new life.

How to Pick Up Girls in 2022 (The Basics)

The first thing you need to do on your journey of learning how to pickup girls is to stop using the word pick up and any associated pick up artist language!

I only used the words pick up in this article so far because that is what most people associate with going up to a girl you like and trying to become romantic with her.

The problem is, the pick up artist community and all associated teachings is a fear based system of talking to women.

They use militaristic language like:

• “approaching girls”
• “calling girls targets” – (This is childish and extremely disrespectful to women)
• “disarming”
• “making In-field videos”

And success when picking up girls is totally dependent on getting an outcome, whether it be a phone number, a kiss or a date.

If you don’t, you’ve failed. Or you’re “rejected.”

All of this creates two things:

1: Fear

2: Neediness

Because of this the pickup artist community has created a series of techniques to hide this needy smell. You can see some of these in a screenshot of my mentor John Coopers free classroom session teaching guys our new philosophy for picking up women.

“Pick up” is a systematically flawed ideology.

Neediness is the opposite of attractiveness.

You don’t want to become a needy pick up artist who roams the street hunting for women, talking to every girl he sees, pretending he is doing it organically.

You want to actually do it organically!

You want to be a fucking cool guy, living a fucking cool life and while you’re out doing fucking cool stuff and you see a hot girl you like – you can go tell her how absolutely sexy she is without fear or the need for any outcome.

This lack of need for an outcome is the opposite of neediness, which we know is attractiveness.

So step 1 when learning how to pick up girls is:

• Stop using pickup artist language
• Stop watching any pickup artist videos
• Stop following anyone who calls themselves a pickup artist or who teaches “pick up”

Stick with the teachings of myself and my mentor John Cooper.

You don’t need anything else.

How to Pick up Girls – Step 1 – Becoming Autonomous

For the sake of this article and keeping congruence with the title, I am going to keep using the words “pick up girls.” But any time I say that just imagine I am saying talk to girls.

Because just because you are talking to women does not mean you are doing pick up.

So like I said before:

You don’t want to be a needy guy who is going out every day hunting for women. This is needy behavior.

You want to be a cool guy, living a cool life and while you’re out doing stuff and you see a hot girl you like – you can go tell her how absolutely sexy she is.

But in order to get to this point you need to build autonomy, the first principle in Johns 6 principle philosophy for getting better with women.

Autonomy is being 100% self contained.

This means being whole and fulfilled without women or anyone’s approval.

When guys are wanting to learn how to pick up girls, they are not in this place. And that is OK.

Right now, you’re needy. (Probably)

Just accept it, it’s all good.

I was so needy when I first started to learn how to pick up girls. I saw every girl as if she was the one, and felt that having sex with her was the only thing I needed for fulfillment and happiness in life.

Yeah sex is fun, but trust me – if you have this mentality and you go out to pick up girls – you will soon find that even having sex with the hottest girl one hour after meeting her on the street will not fill the hole in you.

After she leaves you will be the exact same guy.

It’s actually a scary feeling.

Love, connection and family are essential, yes. But no amount of women, sex, money, or cars will ever fill the needy hole in you.

But most guys (not all) who get into wanting to pick up girls think that they will. They work really hard to become great pickup artists but it doesn’t make them happy. I’ve talked to the biggest pick up artists on earth and they all said the same thing. You can hear one example in this interview here with ex pick up artist Mark Manson.

Now when I tell guys this they often feel that I am saying their desire for woman is a bad thing.

Absolutely not.

There is a huge difference between needing something and wanting something (someone).

Of course when you see that beautiful brunette walking down the street you want to talk to her. You want to know her, be with her, kiss her and probably a lot more.

This is so beautiful, and your desire is the greatest gift you can share with a woman.

But in order to do this you need to become whole first, or else you will just be trying to get something from her. Not share something with her. (See step 2)

So that’s why when learning to pick up girls, step 1 is to build autonomy.

If you want to learn how, John and I teach this in our advanced training program. You can check it out here.

How to Pickup Girls – Step 2 – Give, Don’t Take

As we spoke about above, you want to be sharing your desire, life, love and passion with her. Not just trying to get something from her.

One energy is parasitic and creates fear.

The other is attractive like the sun, just shining without any need for anything in return.

Imagine for a second this scenario:

You see a hot girl. So fucking hot. You want to talk to her, but you’re completely frozen. Afraid. Having “approach anxiety.” She’s so hot you feel immense fear that she will “reject” you. You just cannot do it.

Then, she drops her purse as she walks. She doesn’t notice.

Without thinking you run over grab the purse, stop her and give it back to her.

What just happened?

There was no “approaching.” No fear. Just an unconditional act of giving. When 2 seconds ago you were scared shitless to go talk to her (or try to pick her up). And what if she was unkind to you? Told you to go away, without taking her purse back. Would you feel rejected? No way. You would feel like “umm okay?” – but you would have to accept her decision.

The vibration switched from wanting to get something from her to unconditionally giving.

Yes, I know you want something from her. Her number, romance, intimacy.

But imagine if you felt so strongly about yourself. You knew you were an amazing guy (you are) who has so much to offer her. And that your desire for her was a beautiful gift to share with her, like giving her her purse back.

You could talk to women (or “pick up women”) effortlessly.

They won’t always like you. Maybe she’ll have a BF. Maybe she just got fired and is in a real bad mood and tells you to fuck off. You are not in control of that.

All you can do is share your desire with her.

If you do the work (yes, it takes work) and can come from this energy…

There is no rejection.

No approach anxiety.

That feeling you feel when you see a girl you like and want to talk to (it’s a great feeling) – Instead of interpreting it as anxiety, it turns into excitement.

Stop treating women as “targets” or “sets.”

Stop just trying to get something from them. And start co-creating with them.

How to Pick Up Girls – Step 3 – Play

So I hope you’re starting to see that picking up girls does not have to be like the mainstream coaches make it out to be.

It’s extremely beautiful.

When you lose the attachment to an outcome, you don’t need to get a number or have sex to feel successful. Just smiling at a girl, connecting eyes or having a conversation will become so fulfilling. Moment to moment tantric enjoyment.

She’ll feel this, and respond to it.

But that’s not why we do it.

The pick up artist community has turned picking up girls into work. When it should be fun.

The third principle we teach is play.

The perfect example is a night out on the dance floor. Next time you’re out watch the other guys. You’ll see the hunters. Standing with their drink at their chest, watching the girls. Thinking. That was me.

Do they look like they are having fun?

Not only is it not fun, but it’s creepy. Girls feel it.

I used to have a friend. He had a long term girlfriend so he was never out to pick up girls. He would just have fun, dance with everyone. No ulterior motive for being there. By the end of the night, girls were throwing themselves at him.

If you can combined this level of pure play with taking action or expressing your desire (principle 4), you are golden. It’s not easy I know.

The rule of thumb is fun first.

If you find yourself getting in your head, strategizing, thinking. Then stop, and just focus on having fun. If something happens organically, great. If not at least you had a great night.

Me personally, I like to talk to girls during the day. Wherever my day takes me. The shop, cafe’s the park – wherever. And at night I try to just focus on having fun with my boys and whoever we meet. Create your fun bubble and invite people in. The romance happens naturally if you use principle 6, action.

And play takes place during the day as well.

Enjoy yourself, self amuse and charm her socks off.

I’m not always in that state. The old programming creeps in and at first takes time to get out. But when you get there, you’ll never want to go back.

How to Pick Up Girls – Step 4 – Seeing The Big Picture

We’ve talked about a lot so far.

But what I want you to take from it is that from the outside view 2 guys can be seemingly doing the exact same thing. Walking up to a girl, talking to her and trying to get her number.

But one has been walking around hunting for girls all day, is filled with fear, trying to take, using techniques to pretend he’s not needy and is dependent on an outcome. While the other is having fun, expressing his desire unconditionally and will leave the interaction feeling amazing regardless of what happens.

Who do you think is more attractive.

Now this is not to say that you are going to be able to read this and go out and pick up girls with rainbows shooting out of your ass.

Learning to embody this takes time and practice, which leads me to the last step.

How to Pick Up Girls – Step 5 – Taking Action

We’ve talked about 3 principles so far.

There are 6 principles in our philosophy for learning to pick up girls.

I have only scratched the surface on a few of them. So if you want to learn them all in detail we have created a 100% free 45 minute presentation for you. It will teach you our entire philosophy on picking up girls in a more evolved manner than any other coach.

Go watch it and then come back here.

The last principle I want to talk about here is taking action.

If you want to pick up a girl, you have to actually talk to her!

Now, no matter what coach or philosophy you follow, when you first start this journey, this is going to be hard as hell. And you will suck at it. That’s okay!

I remember the first time I spoke to a girl at the mall, I think I blacked out and I don’t think she understood a word I said.

The more girls you talk to, the better you will get. But at first – you will have to force yourself to talk to girls while trying to slowly adopt the 6 principles.

After 2-6 weeks of this, plus our 35+ specially designed social exercises, things will be quite easy. And the best part is, you don’t need any cheesy pick up lines.

All you really have to do is express your desire in an honest way & contextualize if necessary (to make her feel comfortable) based on your emotional intelligence (principle 5).

It might look like this:

You see a girl you like in the grocery store. She’s checking out the fruit.

You walk over and say:

• “Hey, I know this is a bit unusual – but I just saw you and I think you are absolutely gorgeous. I’m Sean.”
• Wait for her response
• Chit chat for a few minutes
• “Listen I’ll let you get back to your shopping, but I would love to hang out sometime, can I have your number?”

This is a super basic (but effective) example, but over time you will become much more natural and fluid. The clip below is a perfect example of this:

It takes time and the correct practices to get to this level of ease. But it is attainable for even the most shy and unconfident guys – I promise you that.

And it will look different for everyone. We are not looking to change your personality – just to bring out the most attractive version of yourself.

If you want more support on your journey, John and I have spent over 5 years and $20,000 creating the Ultimate step by step program to turn any guy into the most attractive version of himself and learn how to pick up girls, without doing pick up. There are over 30 HD video lessons (with live examples), a 6 week action plan (with over 35 exercises), In ear audio coaching, a private group where you can ask questions anytime & more.

Spots are limited, so check here to sign up.

Either way, express your desire to as many women as you can.

It’s amazing.

And because of it I am married to my best friend.

Whatever path you take to get there is the right one.

Let me know in the comments below what your view on picking up girls is and if you have ever tried to pick up girls in the past. How did it go?