Even if texting isnβt your preferred method of communication, itβs 2024 and mastering the art of texting gets you further then a goddamn drivers license.
In the age of Bumble, Instagram and Tinder likes, sending messages is as normal as wiping your butt and can get just as messy if you do it wrong.
The average American checks their phone 344 times a day, which means that when you text a girl, you compete with plenty of other distractions. A dry text conversation will fizzle out, kill your good vibes, leave have you left on read. Donβt lose hope β there are things to say to not be a dry texter.
Whether you had a Tinder match, met a hottie at a bar, or want to keep the sparks alive with a girl youβve been seeing for a while: A good text game will create good vibes and turn numbers into dates.
This system works like an underpaid child in a Chinese sweatshop, so if you want to not be a dry texter, feel free to steal it.
key takeaways
- Keep chats fun and lively.
- Avoid too much sharing.
- When texting a girl, use playful banter instead of cheesy pick-up lines.
15 Tips on How to not be a Dry Texter
Remember that time when you sent a text and got back a super exciting βK.β? Man, thatβs brutal. Lucky for you, Iβve been in the trenches of the texting battlefield and survived the storm of dry texting.
#1 Hit βSendβ in a Flash! π
Okay, letβs start simple, fellas. Ever watched paint dry? Itβs about as fun as waiting days for a text response. If you want a real conversation, youβve got to show youβre present. Replying faster shows youβre interested and engaged.
- Learn how to get women without doing pick-up.
- Completely eliminate the fear of talking to girls.
- From the conversation to getting numbers, dates and inviting her to your place. π
#2 Go Beyond the βOkβ and βYeahβ Trap
the notorious one word responses! Theyβre the silent killers of the texting game. Letβs say you ask,
βHow was your day?β
and you get,
βGood.β
Great. Riveting stuff. But, if you want to avoid one word responses, reply something like:
βGood! Managed to finally beat that level on my game. How was yours?β,
Youβve just added flavor to an otherwise boring texter response. See? It ainβt rocket science.
#3 Whatβs the Real Message Behind Your Message?
Texting without purpose is like driving without a destination. Youβre just burning fuel. Before hitting send, ask yourself, βWhatβs the point of my message?β.
For instance, if someone says,
βI had the worst day at work today.β
Instead of a basic two (or even one word response),
βOh, why?β
try saying something like:
βMan, that sucks! Letβs grab a beer tonight, and you can vent. My treat! πΊβ
Show you care, and lead the conversation somewhere.
#4 Sprinkle in Emojis & GIF-tastic Moments π
Emojis with double standards and GIFs are the salt and pepper of the texting world. Remember, words can sometimes be misinterpreted, but a perfectly placed π or π€¦ββοΈ can convey emotions effortlessly. And GIFs? Theyβre like the inside jokes of the digital age.
#5 Meme Magic to Woo Your Crush
Honestly, who doesnβt love a good meme? Memes are the unsung heroes that can save you from being a boring texter. I once sent a meme to my crush about how clumsy I am. She laughed and said she was the same. Instant icebreaker.
#6 Master the Art of Curious Queries
Now, this is a game-changer. Instead of the old,
βHow was your day?β
try something like:
βWhatβs the funniest thing that happened to you today?β
Itβs like asking someone about their favorite song instead of just their favorite genre. By focusing on specifics, you pave the way for a real conversation and trust me, thatβs where the magic happens.
#7 Unleash Your Inner Comedian π
Lifeβs too short to be serious all the time. Let your sense of humor shine through your text conversation. Humor will instantly bump your texting style from being a boring texter to fun texter.
#8 Flirt with Words, Not Just Eyes
Alright, Casanova, hereβs where it gets fun. Flirting doesnβt always mean cheesy pick-up lines. It can be playful banter like,
βBet I can make you laugh harder than that meme you sent.β
Another thing I learned from dating expert J.D. Dallas is to use ββ¦β instead of β?β when asking a question. So for example instead of saying:
βWhat are you doing tonight?β
I would say
βWhat are you doing tonightβ¦β
Itβs light, itβs fun, and it keeps the conversation lively. π
#9 Itβs All in the Little Things
Ever noticed how you feel when someone recalls a tiny detail about you? It feels great, right? Showing youβre attentive, even in texts, speaks volumes.
βHey, did your sisterβs job interview go well? You mentioned it was today.β
#10 Craft Texts with Depth and Connection
The art of texting isnβt just about quick exchanges. Dive deeper. If someone says they love reading, donβt just reply with
βCool, me too.β
Dive in with,
βOh, whatβs the last book that kept you up all night?β
Before you know it, youβre both sharing book recommendations and planning a buddy readβ¦
#11 Take the Lead: Be the First to Text
Letβs get one thing straight. Waiting for the other person to always make the first move? Thatβs last season, buddy.
I remember when I hesitated to send that first message, only to realize that taking initiative actually makes you stand out. Being proactive shows you care, and it paves the way for an interesting conversation.
#12 Dive Deep, Donβt Just Paddle
Look, I get it. You might think sending longer messages might come off as desperate. But hear me out. If youβre genuinely invested in the convo, itβs not desperation; itβs dedication. Avoid the pitfall of dry texter texting by adding substance to your messages.
#13 Draw Your Texting βDoβs & Donβtsβ
While being open is great, thereβs a line you shouldnβt cross. Trust me on this one. You donβt want to be βthat guyβ who overshared his toenail adventures in the third text, right? Be fun, be engaging, but also respect their boundaries as well as yours.
#14 Stories from You, For Them
Ever tried pineapple on pizza and regretted it instantly? Share that! Personal anecdotes make for memorable conversations. I once told someone about the time I accidentally used shampoo as body wash. It led to a hilariously interesting conversation about bathroom blunders.
#15 Seek Their Two Cents on Matters
This is a gem right here. Asking for opinions not only keeps the conversation flowing but also makes the other person feel valued. For instance, if youβre deciding between two movies, shoot them a text like,
βHey, βAction Manβ or βRomantic Rendezvousβ for tonight? Iβm torn.β
Itβs a great way to engage and get to know their preferences.
texting in dating
Most men donβt understand the role of texting in dating.
They think they have to get a girl more interested, be super funny, or make her think about you every second of the day.
Forget all that because texting has ONE primary goal only:
The only exception is if you canβt meet for a while for logistical reasons (e.g. youβre sick at home while sheβs on vacation in Africa rubbing elephant trunksβ¦ ahem.)
If you arenβt confident enough to move the interaction forward, it stalls and becomes dry. Spice it up with memes, banter, and the occasional funny story. But never lose sight of the goal.
This is the essence of how to stop dry texting.
How To Stop Dry Texting when trying to date someone
Texting is like gravity β super simple at its core, but you can make it rocket science.
The simple 1 in, 1 out concept lays the ground rules to not being a boring texter and keep a conversation alive.
- Respond to one of her statements/questions
- Introduce a new statement/question
Her: I just had Sushi
You: Thatβs bomb but I always get food coma
The last place I went to had this super cute puppy
Her: Omg I love puppies
You: That one was a real devil though
Wanna grab Sushi one of these days?
Her: Yeah sounds good
Sometimes, you will run out of ideas and wonder what things to say to not be a dry texter. Thatβs okay. You can throw any interesting, relatable, or funny stories in, like something that happened to you today or a meme you saw.
Other times, your conversation will burst with threads β you donβt have to respond to every single one of them.
Keep it simple β 1 in, 1 out β and most of your text conversations will flow easily.
And if you havenβt even sent your first text β weβve got a great guide on how to text a girl for the first time. Itβs (almost) as epic as this.
Now, letβs look at the four different texts you can receive β and how not to be a dry texter even if she doesnβt respond at all.
Things To Say to avoid being a dry texter
Each category of text requires a specific response.
If you donβt know where youβre at in the interaction, youβll never find things to say to not be a dry texter.
These four categories form a gradient β from her viewing you as negative or neutral to being head over heels for you and wanting to meet up yesterday.
Category #1 Silence
When you hear nothing back, donβt freak out.
Sometimes, girls are busy with their lives (crazy, I know.) Most guys get nervous and double or triple text, ask if everythingβs okay, and try to force an interaction. Nuh-uh, thatβs not how it works.
Youβll just annoy or bore her.
When you get silence, thereβs only one appropriate response.
Ping value into the void.
Use a nice photo, a funny statement, or a meme β think of it like a social media update.
The important thing is to not ask anything of her and just provide feel-good value.
Some of my go-to lines are:
- A photo of some food I cooked or a nice place Iβm at with a π₯ emoji
- βI didnβt take you for the shy typeβ (if I get silence after asking her out)
- A bullshit statement (e.g. βa fat kid just smeared ice cream all over his face and flipped me offβ¦ crazy cityβ)
If this doesnβt elicit a response, you can try again after a few days to a week. If sheβs still silent, move on.
If she responds, itβs off toβ¦
Category #2: Shit tests and objections
Shit tests are the most commonly misunderstood part of dating, which is a shame because they will never end, even if youβre in a relationship.
In essence, a girl is testing if you are who you pretend to be β confident, grounded, funny, calm, non-reactive, or whatever impression you gave her.
Sometimes, men mistake objections for shit tests. Hereβs the difference:
- Shit tests = testing you, hoping you hold your ground
- Objections = valid concerns, hoping you provide a solution
If you want to stop dry texting, thereβs only one appropriate response.
Just pass the shit test. π©
So how do you pass the shit test?
Pass shit tests with humor, banter, or being non-reactive. Give solutions to objections.
Donβt ask any questions after a shit test. All you need to do is pass.
Example of a shit test:
You: Letβs grab a drink this weekend
Her: Do you plan on making me drunk?
There are different ways you can respond:
You: If anything Iβm trying to get myself drunk so I can stand your bratty ass π
You: Hello? All it takes to knock me out is a chocolate milk, so you better not take advantage of me
You: Damn, you caught me. Better have a big meal before or youβll end up under the table
Example of an objection:
You: Letβs grab a drink this weekend
Her: I have plans with friends :/
You: Enjoy! What day works better for you? Iβm still free on [provide 2 possible days]
If you do that well, youβll move intoβ¦
Category #3: Logical or platonic
This category is what the majority of text messages fall into.
Itβs also hardest to not be a dry texter because logical texts arenβt exciting by nature. Itβs stuff about what you do, how your day went, and what you have planned for the weekend. With these texts, you only have one goal:
Take it out of the platonic zone.
Use banter, jokes, or move the logistics forward. You donβt always have to get laughing emoji responses. Just keep the goal of texting in mind, which is to get a date.
Her: I didnβt do much yesterday. Worked until 7 and crashed after
You: Poor thing. Are your weekends more relaxed at least?
Her: Yeah I blablablaβ¦
Her: I didnβt do much today, just went for a walk and watched Netflix
You: Slow day for the slow poke π Have you ever been to XYZ park?
Her: No, I havenβt actually. Have you?
You: Yeah, they have an amazing ice cream shop close. Wanna check it out?
You can see how to subtly weave logistics in and move it forward. Once youβve been in the platonic and logical zone for a while, you either start making plans or will move on toβ¦
Category #4: Positive
Strike the iron while itβs hot. π₯
When you receive a positive text β lots of emojis, questions, or otherwise showing interest β you have one goal only:
Start making plans.
Noticed how I said to start making plans, not make plans. Donβt overwhelm her with a βnext Saturday 7 pm at XYZ!β The most powerful way of getting her to say yes is the soft close.
Introduce the idea before proposing the actual date. It feels more natural and smoother than you whacking her over the head with a big βletβs meet up tomorrowβ sign.
How to not be a dry texter:
Use two to three steps to close.
Her: Haha I didnβt know you were that good with dogs π
Her: Haha I didnβt know you were that good with dogs π
You: Must be the puppy eyes. Do you like wine btw?
You: Must be the puppy eyes. Do you like wine btw?
Her: I do, but only red
Her: I do, but only red
You: What do you say we get together for a glass sometime
You: What do you say we get together for a glass sometime
Her: Sounds great
Her: Sounds great
You: Cool, howβs next weekend?
You: Cool, howβs next weekend?
When you propose a date, youβll often get a shit test β a last challenge youβll have to overcome. Just pass it. Wait for her answer. Then continue making plans as if nothing happened.
Thatβs how you close instead of being a boring texter or dry texter.
My final words
What makes texting dry is not moving the interaction forward.
Use the 1 in, 1 out concept. Donβt be afraid to drop some thread, just keep the interaction going. Then, pay attention to the four categories of texts youβll get and move through them to set up a date:
- Silence. Ping value into the void β think of a fun social media update.
- Shit test or objection. Pass the shit test with humor, banter, or being non-reactive. Overcome the objection by solving the problem.
- Logical or platonic. Sort out logistics, keep the interaction going, and use banter. If youβve been in this category for a while and it goes well, you can start making plans.
- Positive. Keep it light-hearted and start making plans.
Go through your old texts and see if you can spot the patterns.
Use this framework as a guideline, listen to your intuition, and calibrate accordingly.
BUTTT
To bump up your boring conversations, you first need to get her number. This is where most guys hit THE WALL because of approach anxiety, not knowing what to say, fear of rejection, and a lack of confidence hold them back.
If this sounds familiar, take a look at the insanely valuable Ultimate Dating Program β it will transform your social and dating life, turning you into an authentic, confident, and autonomous man who can effortlessly connect and date attractive women.
- Learn how to get women without doing pick-up.
- Completely eliminate the fear of talking to girls.
- From the conversation to getting numbers, dates and inviting her to your place. π
Thanks for reading guys! If you want to learn more, weβve got a full podcast on texting from legendary Alpha Male JD Dallas: