We’re all busy guys – whether it’s working, playing sports, catching up with friends, or traveling on our next adventure. So, when do we have the time and energy to chat up the lovely ladies?
We all know how difficult and awkward it can be to meet women at the club or bar. We’ve all struck out more than we care to remember. A lot of us love the thrill of the chase and playful interaction but it’s not so fun when it comes to a hefty bar bill and nothing to show for it.
Online dating is a great way to meet single women who you are interested in, however, it can take more time for those relationships to really flourish compared to meeting that cute girl on the dance floor or at the coffee shop. Plus your social skills never really have the practice to develop.
But don’t worry, we’re here to help: we’ve done the dirty work to help you figure out which may be the best route to success.
Online Dating Vs. Traditional Dating
In reality, both online dating and traditional dating have their pros and cons, which we will go into below. But if you are a guy who is simply seeking a relationship, or wants an abundance of women in his life at any given point – you should be combining the two.
It’s clearly not necessary, and you can have success from just one. But doubling up and mastering all areas of dating life will yield a higher probability of success, and ultimately a better you.
So we’ll jump into the distinct advantages of each below and then talk about how you should combine the two to create the perfect storm of social and dating success in your life. Enjoy.
The Download on Digital Dating
For starters, millions of singles are dating digitally: an estimated 41 million Americans have gone online to find love, a number that grows by leaps and bounds and a positive indicator of the success of the medium. These numbers aren’t surprising, as we have plenty of chances to swipe “hot or not” with the likes of dating apps like Tinder and Hinge, among numerous other options. However, those kinds of apps are quite superficial as Funny or Die mentioned in its tweet: “Tinder: A new way to meet someone who isn’t right for you.”
But don’t let that deter you! It’s all about finding the right platform that fits your desires and needs. It is definitely not a “one size fits all” solution and not all dating sites are created equal. Be sure to do research on the dating site of your choice to be sure it’s right for you. And don’t forget to check out the platforms’ safety policies as you don’t want to risk being ‘catfished.
Going digital offers plenty of opportunities for you to form relationships with women not only in your local area but also around the world – and haven’t we all fantasized about meeting exotic women? International dating is one of the fastest-growing social discovery platforms around. Do you like tall green-eyed blondes? Curvy brunettes? Sultry Eastern European women? International dating opens you up to opportunities that don’t exist at home, so your chances of finding that special companion increase exponentially. That’s a lot easier than heading to the bar where the odds aren’t in your favor every night, isn’t it?
Online dating can also help less confident guys chat away without the pain of any public humiliation and can help them add a bit more bravado to their game. It gives you a sense of security as you are in control the entire time. This being said, no amount of confidence behind the screen is going to amount to you being the man when you finally meet her. (More on how to fix this below).
Plus, online dating is fairly convenient: you can chat with girls via any device you prefer. Essentially, you can chat when and where you want.
How many times have we been full of regret the morning after blowing way too much money at the bar on drinks for women only to have them walk away and leave us without even giving their numbers? Too many to count. Comparatively, online dating is much more cost-effective.
However, We’re Old Fashioned
So besides being more cost-effective, allowing confidence to be less of an issue, and having a lot of options even if you are a busy dude, online dating still lacks a lot of pros that traditional dating hits right on the head.
For starters, every now and then everyone loves a good night out with friends. It’s a great chance to unwind, have a few laughs, and maybe even meet a couple of ladies. One of the great things about hitting the bar or club is that you can get to know women right away in an informal setting, so you can tell right away if there is any chemistry and, if there is, great! If not, it’s not the end of the world, move on!
Meeting someone out requires you to take that giant leap of faith. You’re putting yourself out there, and it takes confidence as you’re opening yourself up to possibly getting shot down. This is the confidence that you won’t develop no matter how many Russian models you an instant message.
And when you’re surrounded by your friends if you get rejected, just laugh it off and think of it as if every ‘no’ means you’re a step closer to finding that special someone. (It’s true, who do you think will be better at meeting women, the guy who has been told no 6 times, or the guy who has been told no 5,000?)
If you’re not the club or bar type of guy try the coffee shop, bookstore, or even take a random night class at a local university. Do something you like doing and, with luck, there may be a woman or two there that will catch your eye. It’s always easier to start a conversation over shared interests than going in cold at a bar/club (Learn more about that here). Plus, you can also check out that new trendy shop, bookstore, or take that French class you’ve been thinking about taking for years.
Online dating is great, and 41 million users can’t be wrong. But if you’re not out actually having a life as well, you’re not going to have anything to offer to the women online. And while you’re getting out of your house anyway, you may as well go out and meet people, so why not do online dating AND hit up the bar/club/bookstore? You’ll have the best of both worlds and double your chances of finding your new companion.
So the verdict is that you should 100% be learning how to pick up and meet women in real life. For starters, if you meet a girl online, and this has been your first female interaction in 3 years, you are likely to blow it on the date. On the other hand, if you met the same girl online and have been actively practicing your social skills and dealing with women on purpose, it will be no big deal for you. Compared to the last 3 dates she had, you will shine.
Plus if you are going out just to meet women in real life, it helps to be unneedy. When you have an abundance of women at your fingertips on the online game, this throws neediness out the window. You can then become the chooser which is a powerful attraction tool.
It really comes down to this (From The Editor)
Guy Who Only Does Online Dating
– Saves a lot of time
– Saves a lot of money on expensive bar nights
– Has instant access to thousands of single women
– Doesn’t develop above-average social skills to impress women on dates
– Doesn’t develop confidence and attraction to fulfill his inner self
Guy Who Only Does Traditional Dating
– Develops above-average social skills to impress women on dates
– Develops strong confidence and attraction over time
– Can go weeks without a date if things go cold or he doesn’t have time to go out often
– Has to invest in going out often
– Spends a lot of money on expensive bar nights
The guys who combine offline dating & Traditional dating
– Has an abundance of women at his fingertips and however many women he sees during the day
– Develops confidence from approaching women, that he can use to really impress his dates he meets online and in-person
– Never has a cold period, as when things dry up he can head online to meet women
– Can develop confidence overtime as he talks to women online and then progresses to the outdoors
– Has the best of both worlds.
Larry’s article was great. I added this last piece because I really believe that the way to go is to combine online dating with traditional dating until you meet the one – or until you are overloaded by the number of women in your life. Whatever your goals are this is the answer.
For ways to learn about meeting women during everyday life, read this.
And for sites to meet women during the time you are not out meeting women, check out sites like AnastasiaDate, POF, or OK Cupid. Or even hop on apps like Tinder. *Update: Check out our full list of the hottest dating apps for meeting women online.
And to learn about how to be extremely successful with women while online dating, and not waste your time staring at a screen for nothing, check out our latest podcast all about how to crush it in online dating. It’s insanely informative and will cover any questions you may have.
So whatever you decide, make sure you are supplementing your choice with a little bit of the other. It will make all the difference in the world.
Good luck out there, gentlemen!
Hey guys, I’m Sean a self improvement enthusiast with over 10 years experience in the health and wellness industry. My mission is to help you become the best version of yourself.
Certifications: Certified Life Coach, Dating Coach, Nutritionist