Your brain is wired to seek out pleasure – the fastest way possible. When you study for an exam and you put in the work, then you get a good grade, you obviously going to feel awesome.
When you get the promotion at work, your brain will also reward you with some tasty dopamine.
In both of those cases, you had to put in a significant amount of work and effort to get the goodie at the end.
What would happen if you could get an instant reward, without needing to put in any work?
All the pleasure at the click of the button?
Well, you can!
It’s called porn and masturbation.
You don’t have to work for it and it’s always just a click of a button away.
Let’s bring back the example of getting an A on the exam.
In order to get a nice dopamine rush from that, you have to go to class, study, take notes, etc. This requires a significant amount of time and effort.
Watching porn is easy…
You open up your laptop, go to Pornhub, find your favorite video, and instantaneously you can reward yourself with an amazing feeling.
#1 – Dopamine Desensitization – A Highway to Hell
Well… you hook your brain on dopamine spikes and short-term gratification.
Whenever you are faced with a task that requires a significant amount of time and effort, you can’t focus anymore cause it is nowhere near as rewarding, nowhere near as instantaneous as porn is.
You reward yourself for being lazy. And your brain goes “hmmm if I’m lazy then I get dopamine, I guess I should be lazy”.
On top of that, with masturbation and porn, you’re tapping into the most powerful reward ever.
This reward is usually only achievable through talking to girls, socializing, coming off as attractive and then leading things to the bedroom.
But here is the catch…
If you could get an A on any test just by clicking a mouse would you take the time to study?
If you could attract any girl with just a click of the mouse, would you take the time to make yourself attractive?
If you could gain muscle with a click of a mouse, would you ever go to the gym?
Well, your brain thinks that you’re killing it in life…after all, you’re having sex with hundreds of women every day, multiple times a day, you clearly are already maxed out on all levels for so many girls to want to have babies with you.
Well, or at least that’s what your primitive brain thinks…
There is no need to supply you with masculine energy purpose and direction anymore, your body is too busy producing new semen so you can fertilize all those girls and make more offspring.
Why does your mind let you do that?
Your Brain Can’t Tell The Difference Between Imagination and Reality
The autonomic nervous system can’t tell the difference between a reality and an imitation of reality on your screen.
That’s why horror movies are scary even though, in reality, there is nothing to be scared of.
Because your mind can’t tell the difference, it automatically assumes that this is what real life is supposed to be like:
Click the button ==> Get the reward.
You’re wiring your brain to short-term gratification and this becomes your norm in all areas of life!
Your brain thinks that everything in life is like porn and masturbation.
All of a sudden, everything that you do seems daunting and exhausting by comparison to porn and masturbation.
It just doesn’t produce as much dopamine.
On top of that, you have less energy available cause you spent it all on fapping.
What’s the solution to this?
You have to rewire your brain to put in the time and effort required, before getting a reward.
Otherwise, there is no reason to study, exercise, or talk to girls (or maintain a healthy relationship if you are in one).
Stop rewarding yourself for doing absolutely nothing, and I promise you, that you will see change.
#2 – Law of Attraction & Nofap
You might have heard of the Law of Polarity (opposites attract) and Law of Attraction (like attracts like), but what does it have to do with fapping and porn?
I will get to that in a minute.
Law of Attraction – like frequencies attract like frequencies. High vibration will attract more high vibration energy and low vibration will attract more low vibration energy.
Law of Polarity – opposite poles attracts each other. Just like with positive and negative charges in a battery, by nature, there is an attraction that is created by positive and negative poles.
You Can Observe it Everywhere in Nature…
– Electricity flows if there is a positive and negative charge.
– North and south pole of the earth creates a force of magnetism.
– Masculine and feminine poles create a flow of sexual energy.
Everyone regardless of gender has masculine or feminine energy, most men are masculine and most females are feminine.
But it is not 100% gender-dependent, hence we have masculine girls and feminine guys, it all can be boiled down to different traits they possess:
Masculine: aggressive, analytical, assertive, logical, busy, hard, controlling
Feminine: submissive, intuitive, receptive, creative, calm, soft, allowing
Masculine energy penetrates, feminine energy receives, this is reflected in male and female genitalia.
Masculine men are going to be attracted to feminine women because they are on the opposite spectrum of the pole.
The more polarized you are, the stronger the attraction between you and a feminine girl, the more masculine the man is the more feminine energy he will attract.
If you are depolarized, this will create a weaker polarizing effect.
How Do I Increase My Masculine Energy?
When you don’t waste your sexual energy, a.k.a. you’re not masturbating, you’re positively charging your sexual energy and masculine polarity.
If you let your sexual energy build up you’re driven, motivated, creative. A lot of men use their sexual energy as a source of their creative power and genius.
If you’re wasting your sexual energy, you feel unmotivated, lethargic, take on more feminine traits.
You also feel less masculine.
In our society, it is encouraged to do it excessively and porn is just a click away.
That leads us to huge depletion in our masculine energy.
If you are masturbating furiously, you keep depleting your sexual energy and never allow it to build up enough to experience the benefits of charged up sexual energy.
This creates a weaker polarized effect and fewer girls are going to be attracted to you.
Once you stop masturbation addiction you develop a sense of power, become driven, and create a strong polarizing effect that attracts feminine energy.
#3 – The Reasons Why Masturbation Addiction so Hard to Overcome
Why is it so uncomfortable to hold on to the sexual energy and you feel the need to release it as soon as it builds up just a little bit, and eventually develop a masturbation addiction?
The obvious answer would be that it is simply a very pleasurable thing to do and it activates the reward circuits in our brain and floods it with dopamine, keeping us addicted to this self-reinforcing poisonous loop.
But the real reason why masturbation addiction (or any addiction) is so hard to overcome has it’s rooted in traumatic experiences that you accumulated throughout your life.
Let me preface this by saying that everyone has experienced some sort of trauma. Some people have more severe types of trauma and others have less, but everyone went through something that left them stifled.
Most often than not the traumatic experiences happen in childhood and they can be as simple as your parents telling you to stay quiet when you wanted to be loud.
Their intentions were good, but you as a child didn’t know any better.
Energy System Blockage
There are blocks within your energy system that prevent the energy from flowing freely and energy gets stuck. As more and more energy becomes blocked the more pressure it creates.
You experience that as inner tension within your body and the only thing you want to do is to release that tension, and what is the quickest release freely available in unlimited quantities today for men?
Porn and masturbation (and then masturbation addiction follows).
You have two choices when you are faced with that inner tension (if sex is not an option) you either fap (most likely to porn), or hold that tension and transmute that sexual energy into other productive activities (self-improvement, talking to girls, creative outlets, etc.).
If there would be no blocks in your energy system, the energy would flow freely and would not create that pressure.
You wouldn’t feel the need to release and you could channel all of that to building a life you want for yourself.
Why do you develop the energy blocks in the first palace?
These blocks that you develop are repressed emotions.
Most likely when you were younger you had some kind of emotions that were so strong and negative that you really didn’t want to feel them.
One of the most readily available coping mechanisms for that is porn and masturbation.
When the negative emotion comes, you may numb it with pleasure such as porn but there is the price to pay.
If you numb the negative emotions, you also numb the positive ones. Sooner or later you will find yourself unable to simply enjoy the present moment without needing some sort of stimulation (food, phone, validation etc.)
As you will numb yourself to positive and negative emotions eventually you will end up feeling nothing at all.
What should we do about those negative emotions then?
Instead of nuking the negative emotions with pleasure, there is another, much healthier way.
You can process those emotions naturally. Instead of putting a band-aid on a bleeding wound, this solution is actually something that solves the root cause permanently.
Unfortunately, our society encourages pleasure-seeking as a way to cope with unwanted emotions and that becomes the fuel for addictions.
If anything you were told not to show your emotions. If emotions can’t find a channel of expression, they became bottled up,
You end up having to constantly numb your emotions just so you can prevent yourself from feeling bad.
As soon as you start to feel the slightest negative emotion (that includes boredom) your natural inclination is to shut it down, suppress and disconnect from it.
The feeling becomes uncomfortable for a prolonged amount of time so you are running away from discomfort and trying to get to pleasure.
Bottling up the emotion is clearly not the way to go because that emotion didn’t just disappear. It is still in your system, it will just have to find a different outlet.
#9 – The Root Cause of Every Addiction
Emotions are energy and energy wants to flow, that’s the nature of energy, there is a natural force that is pushing these emotions and that energy through you, but you keep suppressing them.
You have to create a counterforce that will stop those emotions from being expressed. Two things are likely to happen for you to prevent the emotion from spilling out :
– Muscular Tension
The addiction most of you can probably relate to is masturbation, alcohol, weed, smoking cigarettes, etc.
All of those substances will temporarily alter your state of mind and bring relief from the emotion, but every time you use them, there is a debt that will eventually have to be paid back.
What goes up must go down, as above so below. You can’t escape the laws of nature.
Addictions keep you stuck cause they don’t really solve the problem, all they do is numb you to the emotion that wants to be expressed and keep you from taking the right action that would help you to move forward in life.
#10 – Emotional Navigation System
There is no such thing as a bad emotion.
All emotions are good, you don’t have to numb any of them, instead, learn how to process them.
Your emotions are like a feedback system that signals you when something is right or wrong. It tells you whether or not you are aligned with your true purpose.
When you experience positive emotions, you feel good. Your emotions are telling you that you should keep doing what you’re doing.
If you feel bad, your emotions are also sending you a message that what you’re doing might not be aligned with your highest purpose, you are veering off track and you need to make adjustments.
If your life was a ship, your emotions would be your compass, they guide you to the right destination.
What Happens When You Follow a Broken Navigation System in Your Car?
Addiction will cloud the emotional navigation system that helps you to recognize your life for what it really is.
To put things in perspective, imagine a heroin addict that lives in horrible conditions, he doesn’t shower and barely eats, he doesn’t have a job and all he cares about is the next shot of his heroine.
It may look really weird to a bystander looking at the drug junkie’s behavior.
But heroin addict’s emotions are tied to the drug and his judgment is so clouded he doesn’t recognize his problems for what they are.
In a very similar sense, if you’re addicted to porn and masturbation you will sacrifice a lot of other things to get to your next dopamine spike.
You will destroy your career, relationships, health, and you won’t even see when it all went to hell.
You’re fucking up your emotional compass – the very thing that is meant to serve you on your journey in life shows you wrong coordinates.
#11 – Your Medicine Became Your Poison
In case of muscle tension, you need to understand that your muscles are most likely constantly contracted especially in social situations, the stronger the emotional trauma, the harder you have to try for all of those emotions to not spill out in the social setting, and constantly monitor yourself all the time.
The more emotions you have bottled up, the harder it will be for you to loosen up and give up the addictions that keep you from feeling them.
On top of that, you most likely developed muscular holding patterns in order to prevent all of those emotions from spilling out.
All of the unresolved issues that you carry, cause your insecurities and you try to hide them from others.
Because emotions are energy, those suppressed emotions have their own vibrational frequency. Which affects our overall vibration, which determines what you will attract into your life.
Addiction Causes You To Be Stuck In Life
– Addictions and muscular tension block the emotions from flowing and creates an energy block in your emotional system (causing you to stick to addiction and muscular tension that prevents you from expressing yourself in social situations)
– Those emotions also act as a magnet that attracts a certain set of situations over and over again
So if you’re angry, you will keep attracting to your life more and more situations that make you angry.
Law of Attraction – like frequencies attract like frequencies, right?
The best analogy I can use for that would be this :
Imagine you put on a metal vest under your clothes, but you forgot that you had it.
You go about your day as usual, but all sorts of metal objects keep flying in your direction and sticking to you as you forgot you have that metal vest on.
So you keep attracting all sorts of metal objects, silverware in the kitchen, paperclips at your desk.
You get annoyed and irritated at it but you can’t help but attract all those objects.
There obviously is no reason to be actually upset, cause you are the one wearing a magnetic vest in the first place.
If you want to stop attracting all those things you have to take off the magnetic vest.
A similar thing happens when you suppress your emotions.
As long as you hold on to those suppressed emotions you are going to act as a magnet that keeps attracting situations that keep you stuck in the same place over and over again, kind of like a groundhog day.
This happens because you keep attracting things that are a vibrational match and your vibration is lowered by having those emotional traumas buried inside of you.
There is really no one to blame for this except for yourself, cause you are the ones holding on to those emotions and not processing them, but suppressing them.
If you want to eliminate the things that you don’t want, you have to eliminate the things that are attracting them to you, you have to take off the magnetic vest.
You can do whatever you want but it won’t really matter until you will deal with the issues within you, before the energy is released, you will just keep running in circles making yourself more and more frustrated.
Any other solution is temporary.
Imagine having a piece of paper and wrapping it around the magnet. Do you think that piece of paper will stop a magnet from attracting metal objects?
The piece of paper is you trying to escape the situation you are stuck in and the magnet is the unresolved emotional trauma.
You have to remove the magnet, the bottled-up emotions and process them.
It’s your energy that determines what we attract into your life, you can cover it all you want, but you won’t escape it.
#12 – Your Self Improvement Will Not Matter
You may go to the gym trying to develop a perfect body, you may want to spend all your money on a nice car and expensive clothes, but if you don’t work on your inner self, then all that stuff won’t even matter, and most likely you will be pulled back to your default situation and you will either lose it all, or you won’t be able to enjoy it as much as you thought.
No matter how much you suppress your emotions, no matter how much you’re trying to cover it up YOU WILL ATTRACT your vibrational match.
If you want to change your vibrational energy you need to change what’s inside of you.
If you keep using addictions to suppress all of those emotions, you will get relief from the symptoms temporarily, but the symptoms will just keep coming back cause you’re not dealing with the root cause.
Let me repeat that, the problem is not the addiction, the problem is the suppressed emotional trauma, that is the cause of the addiction.
In a life free of your emotional baggage and insecurities, there would be no need to escape to any form of addiction cause you would be totally happy and fulfilled in every moment and any moment you would not be happy or fulfilled you would accept it and see it as a temporary condition that exists only to highlight your general state of well-being.
You could open up to anyone cause there would be nothing to hide.
The need to drink alcohol and use it as a social lubricant would disappear completely cause you can relax and be social without it.
You can step out of your comfort zone fearlessly and deal with anything that life throws at you.
Anyone can develop that state of mind if they could remove the emotional blocks and allow the life force to flow.
In order to do this, you have to process the suppressed emotions, there is no way around it.
The only way is through.
You might be asking yourself now, how can I do it?
Beneath every addiction, lies the emotional trauma. When you remove the addiction, be it porn, alcohol, cigarettes, etc. you will allow the emotion to come up and be processed.
So the first step is to eliminate all the addictions, whatever that is, be it drugs, masturbation, alcohol, instant messaging, relationships, junk food, sugar, whatever it might be.
And stop masturbating completely.
When you stop it, it will allow your masculine polarity to grow and allow that energy to build up to take your life by the horns.
Sexual energy specifically will eventually push onto your emotional blocks The more and more the energy starts to build up, the more and more pressure will be put on those emotional blocks.
You will feel more and more inner tension and you will feel more and more uncomfortable.
This is when most guys will resort to masturbating in order to relieve that pressure cause they simply can’t take it.
But if you can resist masturbation then those suppressed emotions, as long as you don’t suppress them with other addictions, will be pushed to the surface for you to deal with.
At this point, you will come face to face with your inner demons.
All The Suppressed Emotions Will Come Up
Let me draw an analogy for you.
When you walk the path to recovery and you face your demons eventually, you will have two options.
You can either face them, or you can continue running away from those emotions and come back to the road of addiction, which will keep your emotions suppressed and you will be back to where you started.
If you choose to face your demons and conquer them, which will be uncomfortable but will lead to long-term happiness you will be free of the emotional blockage, addictions and you will raise your vibration and move on with your life.
If you will choose not to face your demons and continue on the path of addiction, you will avoid the problem temporarily, but you will find yourself right back where you started.
#13 – What About The High You Get From Your Addictions?
It will eventually fade away, and you will be stuck with the same set of problems over and over again, only in different forms each time.
You will remain in the same spot over and over again until you will finally choose to man up and face your demons.
You may even choose to replace one addiction with another one. For example, stop masturbating and start drinking alcohol but this won’t do the trick, you have to give them up altogether.
Remember, it’s not your addiction that is the problem, it’s what lies underneath those addictions. Addiction is just what you use to self-medicate, to numb the symptoms that are results of the emotional trauma.
It’s the emotional trauma that is causing you to develop addictions, it’s causing your life force to be blocked, it’s causing you to attract negative experiences in your life. If you want to heal, you have to get to the root of the problem and resolve the emotional traumas.
#14 – Here is What to Do…
When you come to that critical point and come face to face with your demons, you will start to feel those emotions that you’ve been suppressing don’t avoid them.
Sit with those emotions and allow them to come up fully without resistance and let it go.
Allow the emotion to flow, it will pass and you will be free from it forever and you can move on.
This may happen multiple times because there are layers upon layers of suppressed emotions, but eventually, you will recover.
The big picture action plan for you now is :
1. Remove all addictions from your life
2. Allow all the emotions to come up and process them
3. Move forward with your life
I will talk more about how to do it in future articles and episodes.
PS Hey man, thanks for reading – I hope you found this information valuable.
I help men evolve into a person they want to become by giving them a personalized roadmap to success.