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how to impress a girl without getting friendzoned

woman and man staring at each other

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There are too many guys out there who see a hot woman and go out of their way to figure out how to impress a girl.

You’re perusing this article probably because you were on Google looking for complimentary guides to wow her. 🤷🏽‍♂️

Most men think things like, “Oh wow, now I have to work extra hard to make everything perfect, be especially confident around her, use my “special game” that I only reserve for the hottest girls, and show her that I have many achievements, make lots of money, or she won’t like me!”

These thoughts ruin their chances right from the start, even before they walk up to her and say “Hello!”.

And, to be honest, thinking that you need to impress women so they’ll like you is one of the biggest self-esteem issues men tend to have.

Well, the fact is, when guys try to do everything in their power to impress the beautiful women that they meet in their daily lives, they set themselves up for failure because it communicates all the wrong things.

It shows that they’re desperate and needy for her validation and approval, that they’re afraid to lose her, and, most importantly, that they can’t rely on themselves and need to compensate for that with something else.

And let me tell you something once and for all: There’s nothing worse than looking like a desperate try-hard when you are talking to a hot girl.
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Desperation is like cheap perfume, and women notice it right away, quickly losing any and all respect and attraction they initially had for the guy.

A lot of times when you do try to impress her, you can either end up with nothing or in the dreaded friend zone.

how to impress a girl the right way

man with overcoat and sunglasses walking confident through new york city

As you might have guessed I’am NOT fond of the whole “let’s impress a girl” mentality. But, if you want to do it anyways, this is without a doubt the best way to do it.

#1 Confidence

I’ve seen firsthand how a dash of confidence can turn a mundane conversation into an intriguing one. Let’s be honest; every time you tried impressing a girl just by talking about binary code, it fell flat.

Now I can not tell you the golden method on how to get massive confidence. It is something that can only be built by keep improving yourself. Go to the gym, excel in your career (or business), have a drive and defend your own opinion no matter if everyone disagrees with you.

Also Read >>> How To Flirt With A Girl At The Gym. 🏋️‍♀️

As I said, confidence isn’t about arrogance, but showing that you believe in yourself. A lot of my students keep asking me why assholes get all the girls. Well, it’s because nowadays only cocky badboys have confidence. 😂

#2 Physical Fitness

Credits: Landofthewise

I’m not saying you need to be the next Arnold Schwarzenegger, but physical fitness does matter.

Not only does it boost your health, but it also showcases discipline and commitment. Men are providers and protectors, and what is she going to do if she gets pregnant and you don’t have the discipline to keep working and want to play video games instead?
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Being in good shape just gives you an extra edge over the competition when you’re trying to impress a girl.

#3 be a good listener

guy talking to a woman at the bar

This one’s gold. I can’t stress this enough. 👂

Once, a lady friend of mine mentioned she was part of the energy medicine professional association. Two weeks later, I asked how her association event went. The look of surprise and appreciation was priceless! If she shares about an upcoming exam, follow up. Ask how it went.

Being attentive to details not only impresses her but also shows genuine care. Often, an attractive woman is remembered by just her appearance, this makes you stand out from the crowd.
Dating Expert | Menprovement

#4 have a Passion and Drive

guy painting a picture of a woman

Whether it’s collecting vintage comics or pushing for a promotion at work, showing that drive and hunger is insanely attractive. It doesn’t really matter if you are into Karate, painting, or gardening. You need to have something going on in your life and a goal in front of you you want to smash. This also ties #2 together, it shows your disciplined and committed.

I once met a guy who could talk about tomato cultivation with such passion that I found myself Googling tomato varieties at 2 AM. That’s the power of enthusiasm.

And believe me, it’s a huge point scorer when you want to impress a girl

#5 Grooming and dress to impress

You don’t need to rock a tux every day, but taking care of your appearance goes a long way. I remember wearing mismatched socks to a date once—not my finest moment. 🤦‍♂️

Investing in a good cologne, getting that haircut regularly, and ensuring your clothes are clean (and fit well) can make a world of difference.

As they say, “Dress for the job you want.” And if the job is impressing her, then suit up (and make sure your socks are ok.)

#6 show Chivalry

opening the car door for a woman

Being courteous, pulling out her chair, or just showing basic respect – these timeless gestures might seem old school, but they’re never out of fashion. In a world full of quick texts and DMs, be the guy who takes a moment to show genuine courtesy.

And trust me, chivalry can and WILL impress a girl. If you re not sure about how to be a gentleman, these points will get you a long way.👇🏼

  • Open Doors: is simple, yet powerful. Whether it’s a car door or the entrance to a restaurant, make it your duty. It’s the little things that pack the biggest punch.
  • Carry Heavy Stuff: See someone struggling with heavy bags? Offer your help. It’s a great way to show off those gym gains and lend a helping hand.
  • Offer Your Jacket: If it’s chilly and she’s cold, offer your jacket. It’s both protective and gentlemanly. Plus, there’s something very ‘movie hero’ about the gesture.
  • Walk on the Street Side: When you’re walking on the sidewalk, take the side closest to the road. It subtly showcases your protective instinct.
  • Pick Up the Tab: While it’s okay to split the bill, occasionally picking up the tab, especially on special occasions, can be a nice gesture.
  • Listen Actively: We talked about this earlier. But listening, especially when she’s telling something serious, shows you’re attentive and caring.
  • Defend Her, If Needed: Now, I’m not saying get into a bar brawl, but standing up for her if someone’s being rude or out of line? That’s the knight in shining armor stuff right there.
Important note

Keep in mind that some stuff can only be used on dates when there is already a romantic intention in advance. For example, you shouldn’t pay every time you go out with a female friend.

Why you shouldn’t try to impress a girl

Successful young man, dressed stylish in front of sports car

If you’re thinking of trying to impress women so that they will like you, here’s what you should do: Don’t. Just don’t, ever!

Trying to make a lasting impression is incredibly insecure and shallow, and most of the time will not work in your favor unless you are super-rich, and she’s a total gold-digger who’s out for your money.

And even humble brags or something similar will usually not work because girls quickly pick up on guys who are trying to impress them.

That’s because most of the guys they have known throughout their lives have sought to do it to varying degrees, to get dates or sex from them, so girls have developed a keen sense for it and just know when a man acts this way. It’s anything but subtle, and is a recipe for virginity.

That means for you to be different than the majority of men she’s met in her life – don’t try to impress her even the slightest bit!
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Especially and particularly if you have actually achieved or done something amazing in your life or are rich. Just let women gradually find out whatever it is that you have accomplished on their own, from your interactions, stories, and deductions.

Or wait until the right moment when you’re both incredibly comfortable with each other and are sharing a lot about each other’s lives to get to know one another, and she explicitly asks you herself.

The impact of that will be so much greater than if you had just shown her or told her about your special achievements yourself.

Plus, being mysterious is a huge turn-on, so don’t reveal all of your cards at once.

Furthermore, don’t tell stories specifically designed to show her, what you would otherwise brag about. If you’re rich, don’t tell stories like,

“Oh yeah, so this one time I took my Ferrari from my penthouse garage and went to this elite party with lots of supermodels and blah, blah, blah.”

Most people would find that story, even if true, incredibly annoying and ostentatious. In cases like this, is your asset.

Pro Tip:

In your interactions, you want to be the one expending the least amount of effort. And bragging or trying to impress – is a LOT of very obvious effort.

why trying to impress a girl is unattractive

Simp card

There’s this thing in Social Dynamics called The Law of Least Effort, coined by Chase Amante:

“The person who appears to put the least amount of effort out, while getting the largest amount of effort returned to him by others, comes across as the most socially powerful.”

A girl who has stunning good looks is used to constantly being surrounded by guys who always try to pull their “A-game” on her. These guys either can’t or won’t rely on their personalities, charm, wit, and conversational skills to talk to the girl and get her interested in them.

So, they think they have to do something special to compensate for this, instead of being a chill and normal dudes who would talk to her as an equal human being.

After experiencing this for the majority of her life because she’s hot, she’ won’t be able to help herself but think ‘s telling herself:

“Oh wow, why is everyone around me trying so hard?”

And, paradoxically, she’ll lose any and all respect and attraction for the new men she meets the second she sees that they are trying hard to impress her – because that’s exactly what every other guy has been doing when talking to her.

And what do you think will be going through her mind when she notices you coming up and being a try hard? That’s right:

“Oh, if he’s trying so hard for me, he probably does not hang out with a lot of girls of my caliber,”


“He must be desperate.”

And once that thought pops into her mind – you’re done, son!

Anything that comes across as try-hard is an automatically unattractive beta male, supplicative behavior. Or, if you don’t subscribe to the alpha/beta mentality and instead prefer the masculine/feminine explanation – you’re acting like a pussy.

And, she already has one, so she doesn’t need another one!

She will instinctively understand that she’d be the best thing that ever happened to you and that you’re not used to interacting with beautiful women because you think that they want COOL THINGS to like you instead of like you for simply being a MAN.

She’ll understand that you’re putting her on a pedestal, that you’d do anything not to lose her, and that you’re simply and plainly are a loser who can’t rely on himself and has to compensate for his lack of social skills with external things.

So, and this may sound very counterintuitive, but just let go of trying to impress women. That is not how seduction works because it implies that she’s someone who’s better than you right from the start, which is incredibly unattractive.
Dating Expert | Menprovement

Unfortunately, that’s what most of the men in her life who wanted to sleep with her have tried doing, simply because she’s hot. 🤷🏽‍♂️

how to make a lasting impression

Man socializing with women

You can stand out from everyone else who has ever talked to her and tried to impress her by simply treating her like a normal person who has to EARN your respect, admiration, and goodwill – just like you’d do with any other normal human being who you don’t know.

So here’s the key – focus on BEING with her, and not on DOING something that you think she’ll like.
Dating Expert | Menprovement

Just be present at the moment, have a fun, interesting, or exciting conversation with her, use your wit, sense of humor, personality to show off your charm – and that will be more than enough for her to like you and enjoy your company.

Does this sound like it’s nothing special? Trust me, to a hot girl who’s used to everyone kissing up to her – a normal, chill, fun, and interesting dude who has his shit together won’t crumble under pressure, and can talk to her normally are like a unicorn.

This little adjustment in your behavior will do wonders for your abilities with gorgeous women.

Pro Tip:

She’ll be throwing out subtle hints that she finds you attractive left and right after this. Incidentally, here is a great article explaining the signs that a girl likes you.

my final words

Most guys think that a super-hot girl’s standards are for men to be these awesome guys who have all these impressive achievements, who are wealthy, incredibly handsome, supremely confident all the time, massively successful in life and at everything they do, and so on.

In reality, her standards are much lower than that. Her standards are that you are a NORMAL, chill, relaxed dude, who isn’t intimidated by her and her looks, who can talk to her without whimpering, without your voice breaking, without being a pushover, timid little pussy who’s always trying to impress her and is afraid of losing her.

Remember this again:

She already has a vagina, she doesn’t need a man with another one.

However, this is easier said than down If you need more help with any of this, check out our guide on getting a girlfriend that will walk you through everything, step by step. And if youa re looking for personal coaching and a brotherhood of men who can help you out. Join our community at Menprovement X. 👇🏼

Learn More >>> Do’s & Don’ts of Approaching Women at A Bar. 🍹


Focus on building a connection, don’t put her on a paddle stone. But most importantly: show manners and chivalry.

Show confidence, actively listen, make her laugh, and showcase genuine interest in what she’s saying. First impressions are crucial.

Generally, girls like confidence and chivalry. Things like opening doors, offering your jacket, and defending your opinion are great ways to attract girls.

Engage in meaningful conversations, listen actively, ask open-ended questions, and sprinkle in some humor

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