There are too many guys out there who see a particularly gorgeous girl and then try way too hard to impress her so that she’ll like them.
They think things like “Oh wow, now I have to work extra hard to make everything perfect, be especially confident around her, use my “special game” that I only reserve for the hottest girls, and show her that I have many achievements, make lots of money, or she won’t like me!”
These thoughts ruin their chances right from the start, even before they walk up to her and say “Hello!”.
And, to be honest, thinking that you need to impress women so they’ll like you is one of the biggest self-esteem issues men tend to have.
Well, the fact is, when guys try to do everything in their power to impress the beautiful women that they meet in their daily lives, they set themselves up for failure because it sub-communicates all the wrong things.
It shows that they’re desperate, needy for her validation and approval, that they’re afraid to lose her, and, most importantly, that they can’t rely on themselves and need to compensate for that with something else.
And let me tell you something once and for all – There’s nothing worse than looking like a desperate try-hard when you are talking to a hot girl.
Desperation reeks like a cheap perfume, and women notice it right away, quickly losing any and all respect and attraction they initially had for the guy.
A lot of times when you do try to impress her, you can either end up with nothing or in the dreaded friend zone.
Why Do Women Hate Desperate Men Who Try to Impress Them?
If you’re thinking of trying to impress women so that they will like you, here’s what you should do: Don’t. Just don’t, ever!
Trying to impress girls is incredibly insecure and shallow, and most of the time will not work in your favor unless you are super-rich, and she’s a total gold-digger who’s out for your money.
And even humblebrags or something similar will usually not work because girls quickly pick up on guys who are trying to impress them.
That’s because most of the guys they have known throughout their lives have sought to do it to varying degrees, to get dates or sex from them, so girls have developed a keen sense for it and just know when a man acts this way. It’s anything but subtle.
That means for you to be different than the majority of men who she’s met in her life – don’t try to impress her even the slightest bit!
Especially and particularly if you have actually achieved or done something amazing in your life or are rich. Just let women gradually find out whatever it is that you have accomplished on their own, from your interactions, stories, and her deductions.
Or wait until the right moment when you’re both incredibly comfortable with each other and are sharing a lot about each other’s lives to get to know one another, and she explicitly asks you herself.
The impact of that will be so much greater than if you had just shown her or told her about your special achievements yourself.
Plus, being mysterious is a huge turn-on, so don’t reveal all of your cards at once.
Furthermore, don’t tell stories specifically designed to show her, what you would otherwise brag about. If you’re rich, don’t tell stories like “Oh yeah, so this one time I took my Ferrari from my penthouse garage and went to this elite party with lots of supermodels and blah, blah, blah.”
Most people would find that story, even if true, incredibly annoying and ostentatious. Humility, in cases like this, is your asset.
In your interactions, you want to be the one expending the least amount of effort. And bragging or trying to impress – is a LOT of very obvious effort.
Try-Hards Are Unattractive
There’s this thing in Social Dynamics called The Law of Least Effort, coined by Chase Amante: “The person who appears to put the least amount of effort out, while getting the largest amount of effort returned to him by others, comes across as the most socially powerful.”
A girl who has stunning good looks is used to constantly being surrounded by guys who always try to pull their “A-game” on her. These guys either can’t or won’t rely on their personalities, charm, wit, and conversational skills to talk to the girl and get her interested in them.
So, they think they have to do something special to compensate for this, instead of being a chill and normal dude who would talk to her as an equal human being.
After experiencing this for the majority of her life because she’s hot, she won’t be able to help herself but think “Oh wow, why is everyone around me trying so hard?”
And, paradoxically, she’ll lose any and all respect and attraction for the new men she meets the second she sees that they are trying hard to impress her – because that’s exactly what every other guy has been doing when talking to her.
And what do you think will be going through her mind when she notices you coming up and being a tryhard? That’s right: “Oh, if he’s trying so hard for me, he probably does not hang out with a lot of girls of my caliber,” and “He must be desperate.”
And once that thought pops into her mind – you’re done, son!
Anything that comes across as try-hard is an automatically unattractive beta male, supplicative behavior. Or, if you don’t subscribe to the alpha/beta mentality and instead prefer the masculine/feminine explanation – you’re acting like a pussy.
And, she already has one, so she doesn’t need another one! She will instinctively understand that she’d be the best thing that ever happened to you and that you’re not used to interacting with beautiful women because you think that they want COOL THINGS to like you instead of like you for simply being a MAN.
She’ll understand that you’re putting her on a pedestal, that you’d do anything not to lose her, and that you’re simply and plainly are a loser who can’t rely on himself and has to compensate for his lack of social skills with external things.
So, and this may sound very counterintuitive, but just let go of trying to impress women. That is not how seduction works because it implies that she’s someone who’s better than you right from the start, which is incredibly unattractive.
Unfortunately, that’s what most of the men in her life who wanted to sleep with her have tried doing, simply because she’s hot.
Here’s What To Do To Stand Out From Everyone Else Who Tries To Impress Her
You can stand out from everyone else who has ever talked to her and tried to impress her by simply treating her like a normal person who has to EARN your respect, admiration, and goodwill – just like you’d do with any other normal human being who you don’t know.
So here’s the key – focus on BEING with her, and not on DOING something that you think she’ll like. Just be present at the moment, have a fun, interesting, or exciting conversation with her, use your wit, sense of humor, personality to show off your charm – and that will be more than enough for her to like you and enjoy your company.
Does this sound like it’s nothing special? Trust me, to a hot girl who’s used to everyone kissing up to her – a normal, chill, fun, and interesting dude who has his shit together won’t crumble under pressure, and can talk to her normally are like a unicorn.
This little adjustment in your behavior will do wonders for your abilities with gorgeous women.
She’ll be throwing out subtle hints that she finds you attractive left and right after this. Incidentally, here is a great article explaining the signs that a girl likes you.
Most guys think that a super-hot girl’s standards are for men to be these awesome guys who have all these impressive achievements, who are wealthy, incredibly handsome, supremely confident all the time, massively successful in life and at everything they do, and so on.
In reality, her standards are much lower than that. Her standards are that you are a NORMAL, chill, relaxed dude, who isn’t intimidated by her and her looks, who can talk to her without whimpering, without your voice breaking, without being a pushover, timid little pussy who’s always trying to impress her and is afraid of losing her.
Remember this again: She already has a vagina, she doesn’t need a man with another one. So just be a normal, relaxed, chill dude with standards and strong boundaries, and that’s all!
Contrary to popular belief, becoming an attractive man who is successful with women is mostly about Inner Game.
Being successful with women has everything to do with your self-esteem, and with what type of thoughts and mindsets you have in your head. Then, it’s about getting your body language, posture, voice tonality, and eye contact in order.
And only lastly, it’s about learning social skills, where certain techniques and “tactics” that you can use to build attraction are only a tiny percentage of what you actually need to be great with women and get laid. I can help you fix your inner game issues.