How To Keep Your Girlfriend Attracted To You Like Never Before

I remember the day I met my girlfriend. It was one of those movie-esque moments—eyes locking across a crowded room—cheesy but true. The initial months? Electric. Every date felt like our first, with butterflies and all.

But then, a year later, something changed. Conversations dwindled, and that sizzle? It felt more like a fizzle. It hit me hard—getting the girl was one thing, but knowing how to keep your girlfriend attracted to you?

That is a whole new ball game. 

Eventually, the spark died and she broke up with me… Long story short, I have learned A LOT since then, and in this guide, I am going to tell you exactly how to keep your girlfriend attracted to you.

key takeaways

  • Date nights are a MUST for maintaining attraction
  • Listen to her, talk to her, and give her genuine compliments.
  • If she’s talking less or avoiding topics she might be losing attraction for you.

What is Attraction?

shy girl in class

Attraction is a blend of physical, emotional, and mental connection. It’s more than just looks; it’s about compatibility, shared interests, and mutual respect. 

For any relationship, especially long-distance ones, maintaining this connection is key. You want to prevent the dreaded “lose interest” scenario.

How To Keep Your Girlfriend Attracted To You: The Ultimate Playbook

a man who has mastered sexual attraction

Guys, this isn’t rocket science. It’s actually way easier than you think. Follow these tips and I can guarantee you, you will keep the spark alive for as long as you want. 👇🏼

#1 Dive into Date Nights

“Dates?!” you say. “I’ve been with my girlfriend for ages!” But, pal, believe it or not, dates aren’t just for new couples. Taking your girlfriend out regularly reminds her of the early days, when butterflies were a constant.

Not to mention, it shows effort.

Try revisiting the places you went when you first started dating. Remember that coffee shop where you both had that awkward first coffee spill? Go back! Or explore new places: a recently opened jazz bar, perhaps?

Even in a long-distance relationship, virtual dates are a thing. Cook together over a video call or have a movie night. The goal is to create new memories while cherishing the old ones. 

#2 Revel in Your Own Recess

Now, this might sound counter-intuitive. “Shouldn’t I be spending more time with her to keep your girl interested?” you wonder. 

Well, a big part of keeping your girlfriend interested is not losing yourself. 

Spending time solo helps you grow, reflect, and cultivate your interests. This means you’ll always have fresh stories, experiences, and jokes to share, keeping conversations lively and her interest piqued. Go for that solo camping trip you’ve always wanted. 

Take a pottery class. Heck, even spending an evening reading a good book counts. By ensuring you have your own stories, you prevent the relationship from becoming stale. And as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

Females are also attracted to mystery. If you are a guy who’s always busy and has sh*t going on you not only show her you are an independent person but also show her that the time you are spending with her is extremely valuable.
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#3 Relive That Very First Date Magic

Remember that dive bar where the jukebox played the wrong song but you both danced anyway? Or that quaint little park where you shared a sandwich because, well, budget constraints? Taking a trip down memory lane and revisiting your first date spot can rekindle that initial spark.

Now, you might be in a long-distance relationship and thinking, “Hey, I can’t just hop on a plane!” But who said memories couldn’t be relived virtually?

Maybe you both ordered pizza on your first virtual date. Do it again. Reminisce, laugh at your old jokes, and most importantly, remind each other of why you clicked in the first place. It’s like watching your favorite movie: even though you know the plot, the charm never fades. 

#4 Dial Up the Dialogue

guy talking to a gorgeous woman on the street

Don’t just chat about how your day went. Dive deep. 

Talk about your dreams, fears, and embarrassing moments in high school that you’ve tried to forget. The key here is vulnerability. It’s like giving her a backstage pass to your life.

For those of you in a long-distance relationship, this is even more CRUCIAL. Since you can’t be there physically, being there emotionally is vital.

Schedule regular check-ins, send spontaneous voice notes sharing something funny you witnessed, or just send a simple text saying you’re thinking of her.

#5 Giggle, Chuckle, Roar: Share the Laughter

Humor, gents, isn’t just about cracking jokes; it’s an art form and it has been scientifically proven that humor is important in a relationship

Here’s how you master it:

  • Comedy Nights: How about buying tickets to a local stand-up comedy show? You’ll be laughing side by side, and hey, it gives you both a chance to rate the jokes later.
  • Funny Movie Marathons: Remember the classics like ‘Dumb and Dumber’ or ‘Anchorman’? Why not have a night where you binge on these?
  • Board Games with a Twist: Ever tried games like ‘Cards Against Humanity’? They can be hilariously inappropriate but always end in laughter.

#6 Mini Getaways Matter

Ever felt that monotony creeping into your day-to-day grind? That’s your cue to pack those bags and hit the road! 🚗💨 

Whether it’s a weekend camping trip or a surprise visit to a neighboring town, these getaways help rekindle the connection. And, if she’s always talked about a specific place she wants to visit? Bonus points if you plan a trip there! 

Adventures, big or small, will keep your girlfriend interested.

To give you an idea of stuff to do, here are some of my favorites:

  • Road Trips: Pick a spot on the map, and just drive. The journey becomes more fun than the destination, especially with those sing-along sessions.
  • Surprise Weekend Getaway: Book a cozy cabin or a beach hut. No plans, just you two and nature.
  • Themed Vacations: If she’s into yoga, for instance, book a retreat. It shows you know her interests, and you get to try something new!

#7 Walk in Her Shoes

Most women appreciate it when you genuinely get what makes them tick. I remember once trying to surprise my girl with a weekend of playing video games, thinking it was quality time.

BIG mistake.

She was expecting some physical intimacy or a nice dinner out. I quickly learned that spending quality time means tuning into her version of it.

Here’s a trick:

Swap a day in each other’s shoes. If she’s into yoga, give it a shot, even if you end up looking like a pretzel. If you’re into hiking, take her to your favorite trail. The idea is to genuinely immerse ourselves in each other’s worlds.
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It keeps the relationship fresh and adds a dash of excitement. It’s like adding a new DLC to your favorite game; there’s always something new to explore. 🤷🏽‍♂️

#8 Tune into Her Frequency

Speaking of understanding women, here’s something I’ve realized: while you might think you’re the king of multitasking, juggling FIFA while she talks about her day doesn’t count. 

When you give her your full attention, you’re telling her, “Hey, I value what you’re saying.” Most women want to feel heard, not just listened to.

Here’s how to ace the listening game:

  • Tech-Free Evenings: Keep those phones away. When it’s just the two of you, distractions can wait.
  • Active Listening: If she’s talking about a book she read, maybe surprise her by reading it too. It’s a way of showing you genuinely care about her interests.
  • Follow-up: After she’s shared something, ask her about it a few days later. “How was the meeting you were nervous about?” shows you were truly listening and caring about her day-to-day.

#9 Reignite the Reason She Chose You

man singing and playing guitar for woman passionately

Remember the first time she said she liked how you made her laugh or how you cooked her that “almost-perfect” spaghetti? There’s something magical about the initial stages of any relationship.

The trick is not letting it disappear into the abyss of routine. Occasionally, doing what you did at the beginning of the relationship can spice things up.

For instance, if she’s always mentioned how much she love

s your handwriting, why not slip one into her bag or under her pillow? It might seem like a small gesture, but most girls consider this a big deal.

🚨Anecdote alert 🚨 

I once wore the same cologne I wore on our first date, years later. She noticed immediately and was taken back to our early days.

It’s not just about spending quality time together but reminiscing about the moments that made your bond strong. These memories play a vital role in maintaining a happy relationship.

#10 Become Her Safe Haven

Life throws curveballs. It’s unpredictable and sometimes, downright chaotic. In those tumultuous times, you want to be her sanctuary.


It’s simpler than you might think.

When she’s had a rough day, offer her a listening ear without immediately jumping into solution mode. Most of the time, a comforting hug and some alone time with her favorite movie (yes, even if it’s that rom-com you’ve seen a thousand times) can work wonders.

I had a mate who said his girlfriend called him her “safe harbor” during a storm because he just knew when to offer a joke, a cuddle, or just sit in silence with her. 

It’s about reading the room (or in this case, the girl). If she’s looking for solace, be that. If she’s looking for advice, offer it. 

It’s not always about grand gestures; sometimes, it’s just about being present. 

#11 Spice Up Your Bedroom Game

Couple having sex
Couple having sex

Keeping things fresh in the bedroom is like adding new DLC to your favorite video game: exciting, rejuvenating, and definitely keeps things from going… stale. 

Now, I’m not saying you should surprise her with a Tarzan impression tonight, but maybe ask her if there’s something she’s interested in and would like to try.

I would recommend starting off slowly by trying new positions or asking if she has any crazy fantasies she has always wanted to try.

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#12 Go on Thrilling Quests Together

Think about it. When was the last time you did something unexpected? 

Maybe it’s hiking to that hilltop to catch a sunrise or signing up for that salsa class (even if you have two left feet).

It doesn’t really matter what it is, but exploring something new and going slightly out of your comfort zone is a good way to bring the spark back.

I Lived in Berlin for a couple of months, and one of the coolest things I did with my girlfriend was go to an abandoned amusement park. It was super creepy (and illegal) but extremely exciting and cool.
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berlin abandoned theme park

#13 Be a Gentleman

Being a gentleman isn’t about sporting a top hat and monocle (though that’d be a sight!). It’s about the little things. 

Remember the time when you held the door open for her on your first date? 

Yep, that counts. 

Or how about when you braved the rain to fetch the car, so she wouldn’t get her hair wet? Gold star for you!

I once accidentally spilled coffee on a girl I was trying to impress (smooth move, right?). But turning that blunder into a gentlemanly act by offering my shirt as a temporary cover-up turned the situation around. 

The result? 

She was still interested! 

So, it’s about turning on that chivalry, being respectful, and showing courtesy. 

To make sure you’re bringing your A-game, here are some bullet points that can guide you through the maze of modern chivalry:

  • Open Doors: Whether it’s the car or the café, get that door! It’s a classic gesture that will never go out of style.
  • Listen Actively: When she talks, be all ears. It shows respect and that you truly care about what she’s saying.
  • Offer Your Jacket: If she’s cold, be her hero! Handing over your jacket is not just warm; it’s heartwarming.
  • Be Punctual: No one likes waiting. Especially not on a date. So, make sure you’re on time or even a tad early.
  • Walk Curbside: When walking on the sidewalk, keep her away from the traffic. It’s an old-school move that speaks volumes.
  • Pull Out Her Chair: At a restaurant? Help her get seated. It’s classy and shows attention to detail.
  • Respect Boundaries: No matter how close you are, always be considerate of her personal space and boundaries.
  • Always Say ‘Thank You’ and ‘Please’: Manners maketh man. Simple words can leave a big impression.
Credits: Adstiger Status

#14 Shower Her with Compliments

I am not advocating you to tell her

“You look pretty” 

Dive deeper. 

Recall when you told her she was smart after she cracked that tough puzzle. Or that time you mentioned her voice sounded soothing when she sang in the shower, unaware that you were listening? 

That’s the gold right there!

I’ve learned through various facepalms that a well-timed, genuine compliment can be more impactful than a dozen roses (and trust me, it’s way cheaper). 

It’s about noticing the subtle changes.

Maybe she’s wearing a new lipstick shade or trying a different hairstyle. Or perhaps she nailed a work presentation. Let her knowHow To Keep Your Girlfriend Attracted To You Like Never Before

#15 NEVER Stop Flirting

Man flirting with a girl

Flirting is the age-old dance of love.

But WHY ON EARTH do so many guys think it’s a limited-time offer, only valid till the first few dates? I’ve got some breaking news for you: flirting isn’t reserved just for the beginning of the relationship. It’s the spicy seasoning that keeps things interesting.

Remember when you cheekily winked at her across the room during a party? Or that time you texted her in the middle of a workday just to say, 

“Been thinking about how stunning you looked this morning” 

Those little acts can make a big difference and keep the excitement alive. It’s a proven technique that most relationships thrive on – keeping your partner interested and feel special.

I once put on an entire charade by ‘accidentally’ sending her a message meant for my buddy, talking about how lucky I am. 

Sneaky? Maybe. Effective? Hell yeah.

#16 Promot Her to Queen Status

Let me be very clear here:

I’m not talking about ditching the boys every Friday night, but it’s about the balance and prioritizing her.

Empathetic listening plays a crucial role here. If she had a rough day, be there with open ears and maybe some ice cream (trust me, it works). It’s all about ensuring she feels appreciated and cherished. Every now and then, swap that guy’s night out for a cozy evening in with her. 🍷🍿

Stay connected through the highs and lows. If she’s sharing a big win, celebrate like you just won the lottery. If she’s down, be the shoulder she leans on. Most relationships can truly flourish when you both feel like a priority.

#17 Guard Your Boundaries

In #13 I talked about having good manners and I wanted to turn back to that. Having good manners doesn’t mean becoming an open wallet or being at her beck and call. Bonus points for setting boundaries early on – let her know what’s cool and what’s not.

Pro Tip:

Pay attention to patterns. If she’s constantly expecting you to pick up the tab without ever offering, or if she asks for favors without ever returning the gesture, it might be time for a chat. Stay confident in your worth and make sure you’re being valued, not used.

#18 Chart Out Your Love Map

Let’s face it – we men sometimes avoid the “talk” like it’s cardio day at the gym.

But discussing the future can actually solidify and strengthen your bond. Curiosity didn’t just kill the cat; it sometimes disrupts a blossoming relationship.

Take the initiative to bring up where you see things going. This doesn’t mean proposing on the third date, but being open about your feelings and plans. Interested in a long-term thing? Let her know. 

Just in it for a good time? That’s okay, but honesty is the best policy.

#19 Fan the Flames of Intimacy

Sex at rooftop

I already told you that you should try new stuff beneath the sheets (if you know what I mean) but did you know you could bump up the intimacy without having sex?

Things like offering a sensual massage are great for letting her relax and making her appreciated. Many guys think you have to be a professional masseuse to do this kind of stuff but it is actually very easy. Watch this video, from Jakub (one of the coaches on Menprovement X). 👇🏼 

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#20 Fit In With Her Tribe

So you’ve passed the initial “Meet the Parents” test. Nice! But integrating into her family is an ongoing process. Let me give you some concrete steps to help you blend in seamlessly:

  • Remember Birthdays and Anniversaries: Invest in a good calendar and mark those special dates. A simple message or call can go a long way.
  • Engage in Family Traditions: If they have a weekend board game night or a Sunday morning hike ritual, join in. It’s the little things that count.
  • Offer to Help: Next family dinner? Help set the table or wash up afterward. It shows respect and willingness to be part of the gang.
  • Initiate Activities: Propose a family outing or movie night. This not only showcases your interest but also gives you an opportunity to bond with them.
  • Listen Actively: When her dad talks about his fishing trip, listen, ask questions, and engage. Show genuine interest.
  • Share Your Stories: In return, open up about your life. Build connections through shared experiences or hobbies.
  • Stay Updated: Know about the family dynamics. If someone’s going through a tough time or achieved something big, acknowledge it.

Keep showing up, being authentic, and making a genuine effort. Over time, you won’t just be “the boyfriend” – you’ll be like that cool uncle everyone loves.

#21 Bring her Gifts

Now special do you feel when someone remembers a tiny detail about something you mentioned ages ago?

I once overheard a cute girl raving about her love for lilies. Fast forward two months, her boyfriend (not me, unfortunately) surprised her with a bouquet of lilies, just because. He’d been listening, and he showed his love acted on it. 

Here’s the game plan:

  • Spontaneity is Key: Unexpected gifts, especially on non-special occasions, are gold.
  • It’s in the Details: She’s talking about a book she wants to read? Get it for her. Craving a specific chocolate? Buy it next time you’re out.
  • Handmade Over High-Priced: A handwritten letter, a playlist, or a home-cooked meal. It screams effort.
Don’t just buy a gift; gift an experience, a memory. In my experience, gifting a memory is 100x more rewarding than anything materialistic.
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On Thin Ice? What To Do If She’s Losing Interest…

a man thinking

That sinking feeling that she might be drifting away. Science says it’s natural for relationships to have ebbs and flows. But don’t hit the panic button just yet…

Step 1: Warning Signs

Ever noticed she’s talking less or avoiding certain topics? Researchers have found that communication patterns shift when someone’s interest wanes.

Step 2: Breaking the Ice

Instead of jumping to conclusions, create a safe space for an honest chat. According to a study by the American Psychological Association, couples who communicate openly have healthier relationships.

Step 3: Self-Insight and Growth

Are you still the fun-loving, spontaneous guy she fell for? It might not be her; it could be you.

Step 4: Seek Professional Help

Consider couples therapy. As per the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, over 90% of couples feel more emotionally connected after attending therapy.

Step 5: Rekindle the Romance

Date nights, trips, or just trying out new things can reignite the passion. Remember, a relationship is like a plant. Water it, nurture it, and watch it flourish. 🌱

So What Have We Learned?

Maintaining a strong relationship isn’t complex magic—it’s about consistent effort. The golden ticket? Making her feel appreciated. Compliment sincerely, date intentionally, and cherish every moment.

It’s ACTION that counts. 

So, don’t just read—act! Go to your girlfriend RIGHT NOW and give her a compliment. ❤️👌🏻


Consistently show genuine interest in her life, engage in shared activities, and keep the lines of communication open.

Maintain physical intimacy, surprise her occasionally, and communicate openly about your desires and fantasies.

Girls are often attracted to confidence, a sense of humor, physical fitness, and genuine kindness.

Women are typically drawn to men who exude confidence, have a sense of purpose, show emotional intelligence, and are attentive listeners.

The 6 principles of attraction by John Cooper


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The 6 principles of attraction by John Cooper


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