Our last article on how to pick up girls was so popular and we had a lot of questions about what to do after you pick her up and get her back to your place. This article by J.D Dallas covers how to get her in the mood within 20 seconds of entering your place. Enjoy.
So, you have a woman you’ve recently met coming over to your place.
Nice going, hotshot. So far, so good. To most men, this is really exciting, and really terrifying at the same time.
Why? The evening is so full of possibilities!
Possible success….or failure. This is the exact moment when things either go to the next level – or you blow it, and she politely breaks it off with you.
What went wrong? What went right? It’s hard to even tell. You made your world-famous tacos, picked out a good movie on Netflix, and even vacuumed your place and made your bed. The perfect plan, eh?
Believe it or not – there are some killer proactive steps you can take to ensure that your chances of “next level” (nudge, wink…) skyrocket rather than just leaving the evening to chance and some well-sprayed Febreeze.
I’m going to share with you some spectacular moves you can use – some within the first 20 seconds of her arrival – that will get you headed down the road of seduction, rather than having her simply head down the road without you.
So, first things first – because nothing will work if the stage isn’t set. So…let’s set the stage, shall we?
I’m sure it is obvious that you need to clean the place. (if not obvious – stop reading. I can’t help you.)
No piles of clothes on the floor, no dirty dishes in the sink. Aside from the obvious, do you know what the #1 room in the house is that can make or break a date night like this one? Not your bedroom, Romeo.
No, it’s not the kitchen or your living room.
Get this: An overwhelming majority of women will tell you – if the bathroom isn’t right, then I know HE isn’t right.
Trust me – she’s going to use your bathroom. And she’ll be inspecting.
Do not cut corners – clean and disinfect everything. Hire a pro if you need to.
A few master tips
Have a lit, scented candle burning in the bathroom. Have some new, fluffy, white towels paired up and hanging on the towel rack. She needs to be able to picture herself wrapped up in one after a hot shower or bath.
And I’m dead serious here, Charlie: One stray hair on the bowl or a little mold in the corner of the shower, and its curtains for your chances.
Having a decent set of brand-name men’s products doesn’t hurt either. If your bathroom is clean – you are clean. That’s what’s happening in her head.
Now, should you pull the rest of the evening off well – You must be sure your bead is covered in clean, white, high-thread-count sheets.
Look it up – thread count is a “thing”.
Oh, and the candle scent? Vanilla.
Some more quick living quarters tips:
- Classy Men’s magazines – one or two laying out. Think: GQ
- A framed picture of mom.
- Switch out bright bulbs for the 60- or 40-watt variety. Think: not an operating room
- Your cologne – spend at least $50 bucks. Spray into the airwalk into it. Don’t overdo this.
- Music – have some on, keep it down low. I recommend Sade’s Greatest Hits. Trust me.
- No un-framed anything taped to the walls.
Okay – so far so good.
You are having her over probably because you want to see what’s under that skirt she had on the night you met. No problem, she’s on her way over because she is mildly interested in seeing you in a similar position – depending on how the night goes.
Keep in mind, you don’t invite her over “to have sex” – you likely said, “come over, I’ll cook for you and we’ll watch a movie”. We all know what you meant – including her. But she’s still on the fence. Use those stage-setting tips to help you get to the next level.
And these following tips, especially.
Your main goal is to make sure she feels comfortable. Women are very rational upfront when it comes to sex, but like to relax and be “swept away” as if it “Just happened” – so keep that in mind.
How do you make someone whose never been to your place feel comfortable?
Here are four sure-fire ways to do just that.
1) Be Calm
First of all, Casanova, YOU have to be comfortable. Hey, you were calm and collected when you met her, and on your coffee date or priming date. She’s still here, still coming over. Believe me – she will take her cues from you. If you are nervous, she’ll sense it and she’ll be nervous. If you give off a vibe that there’s nothing to worry about, she is more likely to not worry about being locked in your closet.
2) Be Physical
No, don’t beat her up or attack her. The second you open the door, smile and say, “Come in.” As she is coming in immediately open your arms in the “hug me” pose, and give her a brief, soft hug hello. Before you ever get horizontal with anyone, there is what we call the progression of physical familiarity. She’s not even here 5 seconds and you are already touching, hugging.
This is good. She needs to be used to being close to you – so the more you are close without looking like a creep, the quicker she is comfortable with it. Remember that light spray of cologne – this is when she should smell it: when she’s in close.
Bonus Step 2: I like to, right after the hug, lean out and point to my cheek, tapping it – which says, hey, gimme a peck on the cheek. The same progression principle applies.
3) Bare Footin’
This is a key move. After your hug, and if the weather dictated that you take her coat, say something like, “So glad you are here. I only have one rule in the house: shoes off!” Our shoes are literally a barrier between us and the earth.
And when she’s at home, walking around in her fuzzy socks or barefoot she is obviously “right at home.” So allow her to feel that familiar comfort of being in her own place. Allow her to connect with your place. And, technically, you are starting to tell her to undress – and she’s doing it.
A nice precedent to set. (Compliment her shoes – she probably tried on 8 different pairs before she decided.)
4) Lead and direct
When she first comes to your place, she’ll be taking it all in – and she’ll be a little unsure “what to do next” so just tell her. “Come with me – I gotta show what I’m making for dinner….” Or, “I have the Netflix menu up – come and help me pick something out.”
Whatever it is, just get her to come with you so she’s not awkwardly standing there – and have a small “goal” you are headed toward. (What are we doing when we get there?) This will help her relax as well as she will become aware you are in charge and she doesn’t have to worry about what’s going on, what to do, etc.
So put a little thought into these “activities” and things will progress naturally.
– More physical: Again, proceeding with the progression of physical familiarity, as you say “Come on with me…” put your hand lightly on the small of her back and gently coax her “over there”.
– More leading: When apropos, instead of assuming she’ll sit down, tell her to – even if it’s obvious this is what you’re doing next. Believe me – a simple, “Sit down – make yourself at home” does wonders. Again, you are charged, and setting a precedent of: you tell, she does. It’s not misogynistic– she’ll like it.
The above four strategies can all happen in the first 20 seconds she arrives at your place. Most men spend all night trying to get up the nerve to hold her hand or to find the moment to kiss her. If you pull these moves off – you’ve already had close contact, already had a “kiss” and have made her more comfortable in that amount of time than she’s ever been in a similar situation.
The rest should be downhill. Or – most likely – upstairs…..
JD Dallas is a dating and attraction advisor and lifestyle coach. He is the founder of Modern Male Lifestyle, AMS Publishing, LLC, and author of “The Dating Attitude” and numerous audio training courses. He is currently happily married to the woman of his dreams.
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I help men evolve into a person they want to become by giving them a personalized roadmap to success.