7 Bold Moves: How to Get Out of the Friend zone Fast!

Women don’t put men in the friend zone. Men do.

Because they wait for the “right time” to make a move. It’s like removing your cute, little unicorn band-aid. Instead of ripping it off at once, you try slowly removing the strip from your skin… thinking you can avoid the pain. But instead, you suffer even more.

So now you are probably thinking “F*ck… I need to know how to get out of the friend zone”

After helping single men for over 10 years to get and keep the kind of women they want, I know the exact reasons and beliefs that keep men struggling with their dating lives.

And today, let me share how to avoid the friend zone by doing these simple things:

key takeaways

  • let your intentions be clear from the start.
  • Work on your style, physique, and hobbies.
  • It is better to get a “No” than to be in the friend zone.

#1 Straight Shoot Your Intentions

Guy flirting with woman at a coffee shop

So I had a friend in college.

He had 16 dates, but one problem.

I remember when traveling as a student, one of my friends told me how he met this girl. After I asked him how it went, he said he was about to meet her for the 17th date.

“Holy smokes,” I thought, doubting this would ever turn into something serious.

In fact, when I asked him if they had kissed or had sex already, his answer was:

“There wasn’t a perfect moment for that yet.”

Needless to say, after the 20th date and beyond, they never ended up dating or starting anything serious at all… other than staying mutual friends.

The keyword here is STAY.

Because of her, this was decided long ago, while my poor friend always had his hopes up, not realizing he had been friend zoned. This brings me to the first key thing to avoid the friend zone:

#2 Man-to-Woman Real Talk

guy talking to a gorgeous woman on the street

Let me explain.

Despite what the media says nowadays, women still prefer a more traditional approach where the man makes the first move. But what’s the best way to achieve this?

The solution:

Whenever you meet a new girl, tell her you like her, so there is no doubt about what you’re after. When I say “like,” I don’t mean to go up to her and say:

“heeey girl, I really like you, and I could imagine the two of us being in a relationship hehe”.

Far from it.

What I’m saying is you should tell her how you THINK and FEEL about her. In other words, if you think she’s attractive and you like the way she smiles, tell her that.


Let’s say you see a girl you want to talk to. You can go up and say:

“Hey, I’m not sure how to tell you that, but I think you’re cute… and the way you smile really got me, so I had to come over and say hi.”

As you can see, it’s about speaking your mind. And it’s quite the opposite of what most guys do. They try to delay being that direct until they are 100% sure that a girl is into them, which is a big mistake.

Because if you never tell a girl how you feel about her, she’ll think you like spending time with her, but nothing more. As stupid as it sounds, even girls can’t read minds. So you should be absolutely clear from day one about what you want.

And once you do, every date will be an actual date. Because she knows what you’re after. And by meeting you, she shows you she’s interested too. It’s that simple.

The same principle applies to online dating

Tell her that you like her in your first message, otherwise you might place yourself into the friend zone again. It’s more common than you think.

So instead of pulling some funny line from the latest Reddit post you read, here is how you can start a conversation on Tinder:

“I was looking for a funny pickup line to impress you, but then changed my mind. To be honest: I think you’re super cute, and I don’t know what else to say, so hi, I’m Herman”.

Try it out and see the magic happen.

Extra Help:

If you need more guidance when it comes to talking to women on the street or online, check out our guide on finding a girlfriend – it will walk you through the entire process, step by step.

#3 Self-improvement Time

Credits: Hustlereality

Stepping out of the shadows of being “just a friend” means upping your style and demeanor. Start with the basics:

  • A fresh haircut
  • Cleaner wardrobe
  • and a gym membership

You’ll not only attract interest as a romantic partner, but you’ll feel like a brand new man. And remember, when you’re looking sharp, your romantic feelings come across with an extra sprinkle of confidence.

Pro Tip:

These are all things we teach at Menprovement X, our private community. You will get personal guidance from a professional relationship coach and live calls. Click the button below to find out more…

#4 Broaden Your Battlefields

A guy painting a picture of a woman

Man, I can’t tell you how many times I heard, “You’re such a great guy, but…” It felt like an anthem. Then, I realized I was the guy who only had two topics:

  • Video games
  • Work

Not exactly the epitome of broad interests…

If you want to elevate from being ‘just a friend’ to someone’s romantic interest, show them the world through your eyes. Pick up a new hobby, like hiking, blogging or whatever.

Women are attracted to guys who have sh*t going on in their lives.
the German
Dating Expert | Menprovement

#5 Everyone Needs a Breather

I had this buddy, Jake. He’d smother any romantic interest like white on rice. He’d be texting them every hour, checking in on every social media post, and, unsurprisingly, he’d quickly get the

“I think we’re better as friends”


Giving space isn’t about playing hard to get. It’s about respect and understanding that everyone needs their own time. Your romantic feelings are important, but so is your independence and hers.

Whether it’s pursuing a hobby, spending time with family, or just taking a solo trip to reflect, these moments apart can actually bring you closer.

#6 Roll with the Punches

epic image of a boxer getting punched in the stomach

Sometimes, even if there’s sexual attraction or an undeniable romantic interest, things don’t pan out the way we envision.

I’ve learned the hard way that while it’s great to hope for the best in romantic relationships, it’s equally vital to be prepared for any curveballs.

It is better to have a “no” than to get friend-zoned and hope she will ever have s*x with you. Believe me, this is never going to happen.
the German
Dating Expert | Menprovement

#7 Handle Rejection Like a Boss

Speaking of no, no isn’t the end of the world; it’s just a redirection. Sure, hearing it stings, especially when there’s a strong romantic interest or palpable sexual tension.

But the true mark of a gentleman is in how he handles that ‘No’. Thank the person for their honesty, take a moment to reflect, and then move forward with grace.

Just remember, you only need ONE f*cking yes.

8 Ways to Avoid the friend zone in the first place

In Germany we have a saying. The English translation goes “Avoiding is better than fixing”. The same is true when it comes to getting friend zoned.

#1 Start the date with a hug

Don’t hesitate; greet her with open arms. This is crucial because you’ll have the first touch immediately out of your way and show her you’re serious with your intentions.

#2 Kiss her on the first date

I have bad news for you.

Being clear about your intentions is not enough if you don’t act upon them.

What do I mean?

Let’s say you match with a girl you like on an online dating app. You’re direct and tell her what you think and feel. And after exchanging a few messages, you actually agree on a date.

So far, so good.

But here’s where many guys miss the boat. They struggle to initiate physical contact and to make sure their actions follow their intentions during the date. They spend too much time trying impress her, rather than expressing their desire.

Just think about it.

If you tell a woman you’re attracted to her but then don’t do anything to get closer to her, she’ll start thinking you changed your mind. She’ll doubt you are any longer interested in her.

The result?

She’ll be confused and ask herself, “Why hasn’t he kissed me yet?”–until eventually, you’ve met so many times without making a move that she concludes you’re just friends.

So what can you do? How can you initiate touch without being creepy or getting that movie-like slap across your face for being inappropriate?

Let me tell you:

Get close

Then, while you’re on the date with her, you can keep physical contact by slightly touching her on the shoulder, hands, or even legs. Basically on all the areas that are not too sexual.

And if you’re feeling it’s going well, you can even hold her hand, stroke it or play with it while talking to her.

This can be hard at first, but once you’ve done it a few times, it becomes second nature. You’ll feel if she’s into you, even if she’s nervous or shy and shows no signs of attraction toward you.

Also, ensure that touching her feels as natural as possible and is not forced. Don’t just touch her because you think you have to. Instead, tap her shoulder when you’re both laughing. Or be playful and touch her biceps when comparing it with yours. Feel free to be creative.

To make it easier, here’s a hack for you:

Always try sitting NEXT to her on a date, not in front of her like most guys do. From here, you can initiate physical contact whenever you want.

Pro Tip:

If you want to go deeper into mastering touch, check out The Ultimate Dating Program on Menprovement X. We’ve got over 25 HD video lessons, and one of them is 45 minutes with a model showing exactly how and when to initiate touch in pretty much every situation. It will get you sorted.

Always be ready to kiss her

Lastly, go for a kiss on your first date. Don’t wait for the perfect moment.

Just do It.

Because if you don’t, you’ll be stuck in the friend zone. You’ll never get past the initial stage of attraction and move into the sexual stage. I want you to realize one important fact:

If you try to kiss her on the first date, there’s no way in hell she’d think you only want to be friends with her. Even if she rejects your kiss, don’t be discouraged. It might be even better.


Because if she rejects your first kiss on the first date but agrees to a second date, you better believe she’s still interested in you.
the German
Dating Expert | Menprovement

And most of the time, a woman rejects your kiss because she doesn’t feel comfortable enough with you yet, and not because she’s not attracted to you. In other words, don’t give up too early. Be more like a gentle Sumo ringer:

Stay close and touch her, but don’t throw yourself or her out of the ring into the friend zone.

#3 Be discrete in social settings

“But Herman, what about social environments like my workplace?”

I got you, it would be weird to go up to a colleague during lunch break and speak your mind in front of the whole company. The same applies to almost all situations where other people you know are involved.

The most important thing you need to know when talking to girls in your social environment is this:

#4 Flirt Like a Shadow Boxer

Slut shaming is still a thing. In fact, being too direct with her in public will most likely cause her to reject you so other people don’t think she’s cheap or easy to get. Not only that, people might start gossiping about you and her. And the more your relationship with her develops, the more people will talk.

Suddenly, your relationship is more public than that of the Kardashians. And that’s not a great foundation to build an intimate relationship.

That’s why discretion and telling your intentions are a deadly combination.

An example

Let’s say you want to flirt with a colleague. Most men would try to become friends first and then maybe… just maybe, see if there’s a chance to become more than friends.

Not a great strategy to rely on.

So you want to do the same as with any other girl: show her your intentions–but in a discrete, socially acceptable way. Being discrete accomplishes two things at once:

First, the woman will think you can be trusted to keep a secret and not brag about hitting on her.

Second, it will spare her from others “interrogating“ her about her relationship status and piss her off.

In other words: Your mission is to make it look like you’re just friends to everyone else while making it flirty and exciting between the two of you.
the German
Dating Expert | Menprovement

What does this look like in real life? Let’s get back to our workplace example.

First, make sure to catch her when she’s alone and say:

“I didn’t want to make a big fuss about it in front of the others… but I like you and would love to get to know you better.”

And boom.

If she reacts positively, you’re ready to play. From there, you need to create sexual tension, build trust, and ask her out eventually.

#5 Break the Nice Guy Mold

epic image of a boxer getting punched in the stomach

Being Mr. Nice Guy is, well, nice. But sometimes, it could slap you with a “just friends” tag faster than you can say “romance.”

Here’s my two cents: While treating women with respect is essential, you don’t need to be their go-to guy for every little thing. It’s okay to show a little edge, surprise them, be unpredictable.

Before you know it, she is going to call you to pick her up from another date.

#6 Let Her Breathe, Bro

Give her room to breathe, my friend. Being constantly around makes you predictable and, dare I say, a little clingy. Let her miss you a bit. Absence doesn’t just make the heart grow fonder, it also keeps you out of the dreaded friend zone

#7 Don’t be her pretend boyfriend

guy taking a selfie with a girl in the club

Remember my buddy, Jake, he once became the “pretend boyfriend” at a party to help a girl fend off some creepy dude.

Fast forward, he ended up being the pretend boyfriend for EVERY occasion. A sad tale, right? Look, standing up for someone is one thing, but don’t let yourself get wrapped into playing house without the perks. Be there for her, but set CLEAR boundaries

#8 Show her that other women want you

guy talking to a group of attractive women

Demand and supply bro!

I remember rocking my dance moves at a club (think John Travolta but…less coordinated) and suddenly I had eye contact with not one, but TWO lovely ladies. We danced a bit and afterward, talked for like 10 minutes.

And guess who noticed?

Jup. My crush from the coffee shop.

The moral of this slightly exaggerated story?

It’s not about playing games, but there’s no harm in letting her see you’re in demand. It’s scientifically proven that whenever women see you talking to other pretty women, they think you are of “higher status”.

5 Ways You Know You’re in The Friend Zone

You think the romantic interest is heating up, but suddenly you’re being introduced as “just a good friend”. Here’s how to tell when you’ve got your romantic interests crossed, and you’re more of a buddy than a beau.

#1 Can you pick me up?

A guy picking up girl in front of her house

If you’re constantly summoned as a last-minute chauffeur and not as a plus-one for fun activities, chances are you’re not riding in the lane of romantic interests. A good buddy? Sure. But potential boyfriend? Probably not.🚖

#2 You’re the Handyman, Not the Main Man

My buddy Rick had this amazing apartment downtown. His crush would always come over to “chill” and then invite her friends for impromptu parties.

If she’s tapping into your resources (be it Netflix, your car, or that downtown apartment) more than she’s tapping into emotional or romantic connections, it’s a hint. It might not be about romantic relationships but more about the comforts you provide.

Be very careful with this one guys. Throughout history, males are programmed to provide resources (a house, money, safety). Females are more likely to find a mate who can provide this kind of stuff since they need it for their, and their children’s survival.

If you are doing stuff like this for some “female friend” who’s f*cking other dudes you are doomed.
the German
Dating Expert | Menprovement

#3 She talks about other guys

So there I was, coffee in hand, ready to make my move when Stacy began detailing her recent date with Chad from the gym. Punch to the gut. If she’s openly sharing every juicy detail about her romantic endeavors with other guys, you might be more of a diary than a date

#4 She brings other friends along

It was supposed to be a quiet dinner between us. But then Sarah, Lisa, and Tom showed up. If your intimate dinner or movie night keeps turning into group activities with other friends, your romantic candlelit setup might just be a pre-party for her night out.

#5 Bro, She’s Setting You Up

This one’s a kicker. If she’s always hinting about how “perfect” you’d be for her best friend or co-worker, it’s not just a friendly gesture. While it might mean she genuinely wants you happy, it also screams that she doesn’t see the romantic potential in the two of you.

A formula to escape the friend zone forever

Let’s put everything we just went through together to create a proven formula to avoid the dreaded friend zone:

  1. Tell her what you want
  2. Touch her, kiss her, and don’t wait for her to grab your balls
  3. In social settings, be a gentleman: show your intentions, but keep it a secret

Do that, and you’ll be able to permanently ban the friend zone from your vocabulary… and your life.

Your Efficient Dating Advisor,

Herman The German

If you want to go deeper mastering attraction & seduction, while avoiding the friend zone – check out The Ultimate Dating Program on Menprovement X. It will take you step by step through the process until you get the success you are looking for. Guaranteed. 


Yes, with clear communication and understanding both parties’ feelings.

No, but it is extremely difficult. It is best to avoid the friend zone in the first place.

The 6 principles of attraction by John Cooper


Learn how to NAIL the dating market and beat the competition like a pro with these simple tricks. 👇🏼

The 6 principles of attraction by John Cooper


Competition is for losers.

Learn how to get girls WITHOUT doing “pick-up” by using these simple tricks. 👇🏼