Even if you don’t like texting, it’s 2022 – so you better learn how to not be a dry texter.

In the age of Tinder, Bumble, and Instagram, sending messages is as normal as wiping your butt and can get just as messy if you do it wrong.

The average American checks their phone 344 times a day, which means that when you text a girl, you compete with plenty of other distractions. A dry conversation will fizzle out, kill your good vibes, and have you left on read. Don’t lose hope – there are things to say to not be a dry texter.

Whether you had a Tinder match, met a hottie at a bar, or want to keep the sparks alive with a girl you’ve been seeing for a while: Good text game will create good vibes and turn numbers into dates.

This system works like an underpaid child in a Chinese sweatshop, so if you want to not be a dry texter, feel free to steal it.

How to Not Be a Dry Texter: You Need To Understand This Essential Mindset

Most men don’t understand the role of texting in dating.

They think they have to get a girl more interested, be super funny, or make her think about you every second of the day.

Forget all that because texting has one primary goal only:

To arrange an in-person date.

The only exception is if you can’t meet for a while for logistical reasons (e.g. you’re sick at home while she’s on vacation in Africa rubbing elephant trunks… ahem.)

If you aren’t confident enough to move the interaction forward, it stalls and becomes dry. Spice it up with memes, banter, and the occasional funny story. But never lose sight of the goal.

This is the essence of how to stop dry texting.

How To Stop Dry Texting: The 1 In, 1 out Concept

Texting is like gravity – super simple at its core, but you can make it rocket science.

The simple 1 in, 1 out concept lays the ground rules to not be boring over text and keep a conversation alive.

• Respond to one of her statements/questions

• Introduce a new statement/question

Her: I just had Sushi

You: That’s bomb but I always get food coma

The last place I went to had this super cute puppy

Her: Omg I love puppies

You: That one was a real devil though

Wanna grab Sushi one of these days?

Her: Yeah sounds good

Sometimes, you will run out of ideas and wonder what things to say to not be a dry texter. That’s okay. You can throw any interesting, relatable, or funny stories in, like something that happened to you today or a meme you saw.

Other times, your conversation will burst with threads – you don’t have to respond to every single one of them.

Keep it simple – 1 in, 1 out – and most of your conversations will flow easily.

And if you haven’t even sent your first text – we’ve got a great guide on how to text a girl for the first time. It’s (almost) as epic as this.

Now, let’s look at the four different texts you can receive – and how to not be a dry texter even if she doesn’t respond at all.

Things To Say To Not Be a Dry Texter: The Only 4 Kinds of Texts and How To Respond to Each

Each category of text requires a specific response.

If you don’t know where you’re at in the interaction, you’ll never find things to say to not be a dry texter.

These four categories form a gradient – from her viewing you as negative or neutral to being head over heels for you and wanting to meet up yesterday.

Category #1: Silence

When you hear nothing back, don’t freak out.

Sometimes, girls are busy with their lives (crazy, I know.) Most guys get nervous and double or triple text, ask if everything’s okay, and try to force an interaction. Nuh-uh, that’s not how it works.

You’ll just annoy or bore her.

How to not be a dry texter:

When you get silence, there’s only one appropriate response.

Ping value into the void.

Use a nice photo, a funny statement, or a meme – think of it like a social media update.

The important thing is to not ask anything of her and just provide feel-good value.

Some of my go-to lines are:

• A photo of some food I cooked or a nice place I’m at with a 🔥 emoji

• “I didn’t take you for the shy type” (if I get silence after asking her out)

• A bullshit statement (e.g. “a fat kid just smeared ice cream all over his face and flipped me off… crazy city”)

If this doesn’t elicit a response, you can try again after a few days to a week. If she’s still silent, move on.

If she responds, it’s off to…

Category #2: Shit tests and objections

Shit tests are the most commonly misunderstood part of dating, which is a shame because they will never end, even if you’re in a relationship.

In essence, a girl is testing if you are who you pretend to be – confident, grounded, funny, calm, non-reactive, or whatever impression you gave her.

Sometimes, men mistake objections for shit tests. Here’s the difference:

• Shit tests = testing you, hoping you hold your ground

• Objections = valid concerns, hoping you provide a solution

If you want to stop dry texting, there’s only one appropriate response.

Just pass the shit test.

How to not be a dry texter:

Pass shit tests with humor, banter, or being non-reactive. Give solutions to objections.

Important: Don’t ask any questions after a shit test. All you need to do is pass.

Example of a shit test:

You: Let’s grab a drink this weekend

Her: Do you plan on making me drunk?

There are different ways you can respond:

You: If anything I’m trying to get myself drunk so I can stand your bratty ass 😉

You: Hello? All it takes to knock me out is a chocolate milk, so you better not take advantage of me

You: Damn, you caught me. Better have a big meal before or you’ll end up under the table

Example of an objection:

You: Let’s grab a drink this weekend

Her: I have plans with friends :/

You: Enjoy! What day works better for you? I’m still free on [provide 2 possible days]

If you do that well, you’ll move into…

Category #3: Logical or platonic

This category is what the majority of texts fall into.

It’s also hardest to not be a dry texter because logical texts aren’t exciting by nature. It’s stuff about what you do, how your day went, and what you have planned for the weekend. With these texts, you only have one goal:

Take it out of the platonic zone.

How to not be a dry texter:

Use banter, jokes, or move the logistics forward. You don’t always have to get laughing emoji responses. Just keep the goal of texting in mind, which is to get a date.

Her: I didn’t do much yesterday. Worked until 7 and crashed after

You: Poor thing. Are your weekends more relaxed at least?

Her: Yeah I blablabla…

Her: I didn’t do much today, just went for a walk and watched Netflix

You: Slow day for the slow poke 😉 Have you ever been to XYZ park?

Her: No, I haven’t actually. Have you?

You: Yeah, they have an amazing ice cream shop close. Wanna check it out?

You can see how to subtly weave logistics in and move it forward. Once you’ve been in the platonic and logical zone for a while, you either start making plans or will move on to…

Category #4: Positive

Strike the iron while it’s hot.

When you receive a positive text – lots of emojis, questions, or otherwise showing interest – you have one goal only:

Start making plans.

Noticed how I said start making plans, not make plans. Don’t overwhelm her with a “next Saturday 7 pm at XYZ!” The most powerful way of getting her to say yes is the soft close.

Introduce the idea before proposing the actual date. It feels more natural and smoother than you whacking her over the head with a big “let’s meet up tomorrow” sign.

How to not be a dry texter:

Use two to three steps to close.

Her: Haha I didn’t know you were that good with dogs 🙂

You: Must be the puppy eyes. Do you like wine btw?

Her: I do, but only red

You: What do you say we get together for a glass sometime

Her: Sounds great

You: Cool, how’s next weekend?

Note: When you propose a date, you’ll often get a shit test – a last challenge you’ll have to overcome. Just pass it. Wait for her answer. Then continue making plans like nothing happened.

That’s how you close instead of being boring over text.

Summary To Show You How To Not Be a Dry Texter

What makes texting dry is not moving the interaction forward.

Use the 1 in, 1 out concept. Don’t be afraid to drop some thread, just keep the interaction going. Then, pay attention to the four categories of texts you’ll get and move through them to set up a date:

1. Silence. Ping value into the void – think of a fun social media update.
2. Shit test or objection. Pass the shit test with humor, banter, or being non-reactive. Overcome the objection by solving the problem.
3. Logical or platonic. Sort out logistics, keep the interaction going, and use banter. If you’ve been in this category for a while and it goes well, you can start making plans.
4. Positive. Keep it light-hearted and start making plans.

Go through your old texts and see if you can spot the patterns.

Use this framework as a guideline, listen to your intuition, and calibrate accordingly.

This is everything you need to not be a dry texter, but…

To text a woman, you first need to get her number. This is where most guys hit a wall because approach anxiety, not knowing what to say, fear of rejection, and a lack of confidence hold them back. If this sounds familiar, take a look at the insanely valuable Ultimate Dating Program – it will transform your social and dating life, turning you into an authentic, confident, and autonomous man who can effortlessly connect and date attractive women.

Thanks for reading guys! If you want to learn more, we’ve got a full podcast on texting from legendary Alpha Male JD Dallas. And if you have any more advice on how to not be a dry texter then let us know in the comments below.

And let us know – what’s your favorite first text!