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Even if texting isn’t your preferred method of communication, it’s 2024 and mastering the art of texting gets you further then a goddamn drivers license.
In the age of Bumble, Instagram and Tinder likes, sending messages is as normal as wiping your butt and can get just as messy if you do it wrong.
The average American checks their phone 344 times a day, which means that when you text a girl, you compete with plenty of other distractions. A dry text conversation will fizzle out, kill your good vibes, leave have you left on read. Don’t lose hope – there are things to say to not be a dry texter.
Whether you had a Tinder match, met a hottie at a bar, or want to keep the sparks alive with a girl you’ve been seeing for a while: A good text game will create good vibes and turn numbers into dates.
This system works like an underpaid child in a Chinese sweatshop, so if you want to not be a dry texter, feel free to steal it.
key takeaways
- Keep chats fun and lively.
- Avoid too much sharing.
- When texting a girl, use playful banter instead of cheesy pick-up lines.
15 Tips on How to not be a Dry Texter
Remember that time when you sent a text and got back a super exciting “K.”? Man, that’s brutal. Lucky for you, I’ve been in the trenches of the texting battlefield and survived the storm of dry texting.
#1 Hit ‘Send’ in a Flash! 🚀
Okay, let’s start simple, fellas. Ever watched paint dry? It’s about as fun as waiting days for a text response. If you want a real conversation, you’ve got to show you’re present. Replying faster shows you’re interested and engaged.
#2 Go Beyond the “Ok” and “Yeah” Trap
the notorious one word responses! They’re the silent killers of the texting game. Let’s say you ask,
“How was your day?”
and you get,
“Good.”
Great. Riveting stuff. But, if you want to avoid one word responses, reply something like:
“Good! Managed to finally beat that level on my game. How was yours?”,
You’ve just added flavor to an otherwise boring texter response. See? It ain’t rocket science.
#3 What’s the Real Message Behind Your Message?
Texting without purpose is like driving without a destination. You’re just burning fuel. Before hitting send, ask yourself, “What’s the point of my message?”.
For instance, if someone says,
“I had the worst day at work today.”
Instead of a basic two (or even one word response),
“Oh, why?”
try saying something like:
“Man, that sucks! Let’s grab a beer tonight, and you can vent. My treat! 🍺”
Show you care, and lead the conversation somewhere.
#4 Sprinkle in Emojis & GIF-tastic Moments 🎉
Emojis with double standards and GIFs are the salt and pepper of the texting world. Remember, words can sometimes be misinterpreted, but a perfectly placed 😂 or 🤦♂️ can convey emotions effortlessly. And GIFs? They’re like the inside jokes of the digital age.
#5 Meme Magic to Woo Your Crush
Honestly, who doesn’t love a good meme? Memes are the unsung heroes that can save you from being a boring texter. I once sent a meme to my crush about how clumsy I am. She laughed and said she was the same. Instant icebreaker.
#6 Master the Art of Curious Queries
Now, this is a game-changer. Instead of the old,
“How was your day?”
try something like:
“What’s the funniest thing that happened to you today?”
It’s like asking someone about their favorite song instead of just their favorite genre. By focusing on specifics, you pave the way for a real conversation and trust me, that’s where the magic happens.
#7 Unleash Your Inner Comedian 😂
Life’s too short to be serious all the time. Let your sense of humor shine through your text conversation. Humor will instantly bump your texting style from being a boring texter to fun texter.
#8 Flirt with Words, Not Just Eyes
Alright, Casanova, here’s where it gets fun. Flirting doesn’t always mean cheesy pick-up lines. It can be playful banter like,
“Bet I can make you laugh harder than that meme you sent.”
Another thing I learned from dating expert J.D. Dallas is to use “…” instead of “?” when asking a question. So for example instead of saying:
“What are you doing tonight?”
I would say
“What are you doing tonight…”
It’s light, it’s fun, and it keeps the conversation lively. 😏
#9 It’s All in the Little Things
Ever noticed how you feel when someone recalls a tiny detail about you? It feels great, right? Showing you’re attentive, even in texts, speaks volumes.
“Hey, did your sister’s job interview go well? You mentioned it was today.”
#10 Craft Texts with Depth and Connection
The art of texting isn’t just about quick exchanges. Dive deeper. If someone says they love reading, don’t just reply with
“Cool, me too.”
Dive in with,
“Oh, what’s the last book that kept you up all night?”
Before you know it, you’re both sharing book recommendations and planning a buddy read…
#11 Take the Lead: Be the First to Text
Let’s get one thing straight. Waiting for the other person to always make the first move? That’s last season, buddy.
I remember when I hesitated to send that first message, only to realize that taking initiative actually makes you stand out. Being proactive shows you care, and it paves the way for an interesting conversation.
#12 Dive Deep, Don’t Just Paddle
Look, I get it. You might think sending longer messages might come off as desperate. But hear me out. If you’re genuinely invested in the convo, it’s not desperation; it’s dedication. Avoid the pitfall of dry texter texting by adding substance to your messages.
#13 Draw Your Texting ‘Do’s & Don’ts’
While being open is great, there’s a line you shouldn’t cross. Trust me on this one. You don’t want to be “that guy” who overshared his toenail adventures in the third text, right? Be fun, be engaging, but also respect their boundaries as well as yours.
#14 Stories from You, For Them
Ever tried pineapple on pizza and regretted it instantly? Share that! Personal anecdotes make for memorable conversations. I once told someone about the time I accidentally used shampoo as body wash. It led to a hilariously interesting conversation about bathroom blunders.
#15 Seek Their Two Cents on Matters
This is a gem right here. Asking for opinions not only keeps the conversation flowing but also makes the other person feel valued. For instance, if you’re deciding between two movies, shoot them a text like,
“Hey, ‘Action Man’ or ‘Romantic Rendezvous’ for tonight? I’m torn.”
It’s a great way to engage and get to know their preferences.
texting in dating
Most men don’t understand the role of texting in dating.
They think they have to get a girl more interested, be super funny, or make her think about you every second of the day.
Forget all that because texting has ONE primary goal only:
The only exception is if you can’t meet for a while for logistical reasons (e.g. you’re sick at home while she’s on vacation in Africa rubbing elephant trunks… ahem.)
If you aren’t confident enough to move the interaction forward, it stalls and becomes dry. Spice it up with memes, banter, and the occasional funny story. But never lose sight of the goal.
This is the essence of how to stop dry texting.
How To Stop Dry Texting when trying to date someone
Texting is like gravity – super simple at its core, but you can make it rocket science.
The simple 1 in, 1 out concept lays the ground rules to not being a boring texter and keep a conversation alive.
Her: I just had Sushi
You: That’s bomb but I always get food coma
The last place I went to had this super cute puppy
Her: Omg I love puppies
You: That one was a real devil though
Wanna grab Sushi one of these days?
Her: Yeah sounds good
Sometimes, you will run out of ideas and wonder what things to say to not be a dry texter. That’s okay. You can throw any interesting, relatable, or funny stories in, like something that happened to you today or a meme you saw.
Other times, your conversation will burst with threads – you don’t have to respond to every single one of them.
Keep it simple – 1 in, 1 out – and most of your text conversations will flow easily.
And if you haven’t even sent your first text – we’ve got a great guide on how to text a girl for the first time. It’s (almost) as epic as this.
Now, let’s look at the four different texts you can receive – and how not to be a dry texter even if she doesn’t respond at all.
Things To Say to avoid being a dry texter
Each category of text requires a specific response.
If you don’t know where you’re at in the interaction, you’ll never find things to say to not be a dry texter.
These four categories form a gradient – from her viewing you as negative or neutral to being head over heels for you and wanting to meet up yesterday.
Category #1 Silence
When you hear nothing back, don’t freak out.
Sometimes, girls are busy with their lives (crazy, I know.) Most guys get nervous and double or triple text, ask if everything’s okay, and try to force an interaction. Nuh-uh, that’s not how it works.
You’ll just annoy or bore her.
When you get silence, there’s only one appropriate response.
Ping value into the void.
Use a nice photo, a funny statement, or a meme – think of it like a social media update.
The important thing is to not ask anything of her and just provide feel-good value.
Some of my go-to lines are:
If this doesn’t elicit a response, you can try again after a few days to a week. If she’s still silent, move on.
If she responds, it’s off to…
Category #2: Shit tests and objections
Shit tests are the most commonly misunderstood part of dating, which is a shame because they will never end, even if you’re in a relationship.
In essence, a girl is testing if you are who you pretend to be – confident, grounded, funny, calm, non-reactive, or whatever impression you gave her.
Sometimes, men mistake objections for shit tests. Here’s the difference:
- Shit tests = testing you, hoping you hold your ground
- Objections = valid concerns, hoping you provide a solution
If you want to stop dry texting, there’s only one appropriate response.
Just pass the shit test. 💩
So how do you pass the shit test?
Pass shit tests with humor, banter, or being non-reactive. Give solutions to objections.
Don’t ask any questions after a shit test. All you need to do is pass.
Example of a shit test:
You: Let’s grab a drink this weekend
Her: Do you plan on making me drunk?
There are different ways you can respond:
You: If anything I’m trying to get myself drunk so I can stand your bratty ass 😉
You: Hello? All it takes to knock me out is a chocolate milk, so you better not take advantage of me
You: Damn, you caught me. Better have a big meal before or you’ll end up under the table
Example of an objection:
You: Let’s grab a drink this weekend
Her: I have plans with friends :/
You: Enjoy! What day works better for you? I’m still free on [provide 2 possible days]
If you do that well, you’ll move into…
Category #3: Logical or platonic
This category is what the majority of text messages fall into.
It’s also hardest to not be a dry texter because logical texts aren’t exciting by nature. It’s stuff about what you do, how your day went, and what you have planned for the weekend. With these texts, you only have one goal:
Take it out of the platonic zone.
Use banter, jokes, or move the logistics forward. You don’t always have to get laughing emoji responses. Just keep the goal of texting in mind, which is to get a date.
Her: I didn’t do much yesterday. Worked until 7 and crashed after
You: Poor thing. Are your weekends more relaxed at least?
Her: Yeah I blablabla…
Her: I didn’t do much today, just went for a walk and watched Netflix
You: Slow day for the slow poke 😉 Have you ever been to XYZ park?
Her: No, I haven’t actually. Have you?
You: Yeah, they have an amazing ice cream shop close. Wanna check it out?
You can see how to subtly weave logistics in and move it forward. Once you’ve been in the platonic and logical zone for a while, you either start making plans or will move on to…
Category #4: Positive
Strike the iron while it’s hot. 🔥
When you receive a positive text – lots of emojis, questions, or otherwise showing interest – you have one goal only:
Start making plans.
Noticed how I said to start making plans, not make plans. Don’t overwhelm her with a “next Saturday 7 pm at XYZ!” The most powerful way of getting her to say yes is the soft close.
Introduce the idea before proposing the actual date. It feels more natural and smoother than you whacking her over the head with a big “let’s meet up tomorrow” sign.
How to not be a dry texter:
Use two to three steps to close.
Her: Haha I didn’t know you were that good with dogs 🙂
Her: Haha I didn’t know you were that good with dogs 🙂
You: Must be the puppy eyes. Do you like wine btw?
You: Must be the puppy eyes. Do you like wine btw?
Her: I do, but only red
Her: I do, but only red
You: What do you say we get together for a glass sometime
You: What do you say we get together for a glass sometime
Her: Sounds great
Her: Sounds great
You: Cool, how’s next weekend?
You: Cool, how’s next weekend?
When you propose a date, you’ll often get a shit test – a last challenge you’ll have to overcome. Just pass it. Wait for her answer. Then continue making plans as if nothing happened.
That’s how you close instead of being a boring texter or dry texter.
My final words
What makes texting dry is not moving the interaction forward.
Use the 1 in, 1 out concept. Don’t be afraid to drop some thread, just keep the interaction going. Then, pay attention to the four categories of texts you’ll get and move through them to set up a date:
- Silence. Ping value into the void – think of a fun social media update.
- Shit test or objection. Pass the shit test with humor, banter, or being non-reactive. Overcome the objection by solving the problem.
- Logical or platonic. Sort out logistics, keep the interaction going, and use banter. If you’ve been in this category for a while and it goes well, you can start making plans.
- Positive. Keep it light-hearted and start making plans.
Go through your old texts and see if you can spot the patterns.
Use this framework as a guideline, listen to your intuition, and calibrate accordingly.
BUTTT
To bump up your boring conversations, you first need to get her number. This is where most guys hit THE WALL because of approach anxiety, not knowing what to say, fear of rejection, and a lack of confidence hold them back.
If this sounds familiar, take a look at the insanely valuable Ultimate Dating Program – it will transform your social and dating life, turning you into an authentic, confident, and autonomous man who can effortlessly connect and date attractive women.
Thanks for reading guys! If you want to learn more, we’ve got a full podcast on texting from legendary Alpha Male JD Dallas:
