For a lot of introverted men, dating can be super challenging! 

And it makes sense, right? A lot of the advice is made for extroverts. 

For example… 

• “You have to be the life of the party!” 
• “Stop overthinking! It’ll be great!” 
• “Just do it, man! Go for it!” 

After a while of hearing things like that, it can be hard not to feel defeated if you’re quieter and more analytical by nature. But take heart (!), because I have amazing news for you today: 

As an introverted man, you actually have an EDGE. 

You do! And that’s exactly what we’re going to cover together in this article. 

Here’s what’s on tap for today: 

1. Find out what is uniquely attractive about *you* as an introvert! 
2. Easily bring your best qualities out to shine!
3. Use your listening skills to create chemistry and connection! 

Let’s go!

1. Find out what is uniquely attractive about *you* as an introvert! 

The first key to knowing how and why you’re uniquely attractive is to realize that introverts are inherently attractive for so many reasons. (!) 

Back in 2014, I published an article called “7 Reasons Introverted Men Are So Damn Attractive,” and it got picked up by Cosmo and more! 

Why? Because everyone knows intuitively that it’s true; they just hadn’t heard it before. 

Here are just a few of the qualities I shared in the article (see an expanded version here!). 

As an introverted man, you are… 

• Mysterious (irresistible!) 
• Empathetic (amazing for relationships!) 
• Introspective (hello, integrity!) 

On top of the qualities that introverted men tend to share, you have some that are *especially* amazing inside of you. 

Why? 

Because you are uniquely attractive as your own man. 

But how? How do you find out the WAYS you are attractive? 

3 steps: 

1. Determine your deepest values. What is most important to you in life? Pro Tip: Rather than areas of life like family or career, look for your approach to life and what you hold dear, things like loyalty and love and freedom.
2. Recall your favorite compliments. When you’re feeling a bit shy to see the amazing parts of yourself, think back to what *other* people have said about you, things that really stood out to you. Did they compliment your kindness? Your laid-back nature? Write those down.
3. Weave these values and qualities into your life. Once you’ve identified your dearest values and attributes, let them shine! More on this below. 😉 

Want even more guidance on finding your precise values and qualities? Get an in-depth exercise included in this free ebook.

2. Easily bring your best qualities out to shine! 

To get noticed by women as an introverted man, the key is to be super in tune with what makes you uniquely attractive. 

That’s why the above is so helpful! 

Now that you’ve identified what makes you especially appealing, let’s bring those qualities out to shine! 

By showcasing your best, you are allowing women to be naturally attracted to you. Why? Because finally, they can *see* you for who you are, introverted or not! 

One awesome and clear way to do this is to “front-load the work,” a phrase I learned from Ramit Sethi. This means doing a few things up front to ensure success better in the moment… you know, when a gorgeous woman is standing in front of you! 

In other words, show up with your best qualities shining so that she can get a sense of you before you even say a word. 

How? Two things: 

• Your vibe
• Your presentation

Let’s go over each! 

Your vibe

This comes from Step #1 above on finding what helps *you* in particular attract women naturally. Yay! Introverted or extroverted, your vibe is all about how you see yourself. 

So now that you see yourself in sharper focus, by dwelling on that, you actually *increase* the intensity of all those amazing qualities! 

Here are specific ways to up level your vibe by dwelling happily on your values and qualities: 

Create a reminder to review your values! Our clients at Introverted Alpha have used all kinds of reminders! Here’s what they like the best: 

• Setting an alarm with your values and qualities as the title
• Updating your phone’s lock-screen so it’s right there whenever you pick it up 
• Putting a colorful sticky note on your bathroom mirror 

Look for ways to generously express your qualities! Another things our clients love doing is finding ways to be more of who they are! For example… 

• If you love playfulness, you can look for opportunities to make colleagues laugh. 
• Let’s say friends love your calm vibes. Be there for a friend who needs comfort! 
• If you’ve been complimented on your beard, groom that thing and use beard oil! 

So, as you can see, there are so many ways to bring out more of what’s already working so it can work for you more to attract women naturally as an introverted man. 

Another way to “front-load the work”? Your presentation. 

Your presentation 

This is the first thing people see about you! Your clothes, your posture, your grooming, and your vibe. 

Here are some strong ways to take your presentation to the next level, and no stress. Do what you can, as you can. This is a lifelong journey! 

• Make sure your clothes fit well. Go to a specialty men’s store and let them guide you on proper fit according to your body shape and size.

• Groom those “non-noticeable” areas. Hint: there are none! 😉 Even if something (neck hair?) is subtle, women notice. Groom well, and come off as super put-together.
• Practice “lengthen and widen.” This comes from The Alexander Technique! Say this to yourself and you can’t help but broaden those shoulders and relax that back to be nice and comfortably straight. 

What about after you’ve dialed in your vibe and presentation? 

Now let’s look at ways to attract women naturally *while* interacting, on top of the foundation you’ve already been building with your mindset, confidence, and overall presentation! 

Hint: you are already a total natural at this next step! 

3. Use your listening skills to create chemistry and connection! 

Listening is an introverted man’s best friend! 

Why? Because you already like to do it anyways! Being more reserved by nature means you might be talking less and therefore more open and interested in what the other person is saying. 

This is such a gift, and it actually allows you to do something awesome: 

“Wow” her in the moment without being loud or brash. 

No more pressure to be “life of the party!” 

Time to use those listening skills of yours to connect with her beautifully and build interest! 

Listening means being… 

• Present in the moment, 
• Open to her, and 
• Tuned into her body and her words… 

When you do that, her interest in you follows. 

How do you do those things? Let’s take them one by one! 

Present in the moment

Whether you’re approaching someone new, flirting with her once you’ve struck up a conversation, or talking with her on a fun date, her interest in your hinges on one thing more than anything else: 

Your presence. 

Being present in the moment means being… 

• Comfortable in your own skin (even while nervous! You can be comfortable *with* your nervousness, embracing it as an “attraction moment” as we say at Introverted Alpha!)
• Content just being with her (without scanning the room or thinking about other things or looking at your phone) 
• Confident in what you are offering (knowing that whether or not she feels naturally attracted to you in a romantic way, you’ll be totally okay as you take things step by step to see! You’re assessing whether you’re truly attracted to her too; it goes both ways!) 

Open to her

Being open to her means… 

• Wanting to learn more about her (as a person, not *only* as a potential date… as a human being!)
• Engaging with her, asking her questions (yay listening skills! By listening, you actually pick up on new things to ask her!)

• Seeing her for who she is showing herself to be (this includes noticing things that you don’t like! Perhaps you’re not interested after awhile; that’s okay! That’s part of being open to her as she is, seeing her accurately and making decisions accordingly, which is very freeing.) 

Tuned into her body and her words

By tuning into her body and words, you are truly connecting with her. This requires listening skills, which you already possess as an introvert. Yay! 

Here’s how to read her body: 

Notice her body language: 

• • Is she turning towards you, or away from you? 
  • Is she leaning in closer, or drawing back? 
  • Does she seem happy to be near you? 
  • Is her face flushed or does she seem warm?

Watch for any flirting signs: 

• • • Are her eyes lighting up when she looks at you? 
    • Does she seem shy towards you in a happy way? 
    • Is she touching you while she’s talking or laughing? 
    • Does her laughter seem genuine and nervous in a good way?  

Here’s how to tune into her words: 

• Remember, “We’re most interesting when we’re most interested!” It is wonderfully interesting of you to be genuinely interested in her! This takes the pressure off!
• Relax in the moment so that you’re free to pick up on all kinds of nuances from what she shares. Calming your mind helps you to listen well to what she is saying.
• Ask follow-up questions to understand better! If there’s something you don’t quite get or are curious to know more about, just ask! This shows that you are indeed listening intently enough to form a question, which is a complement to her! 

Conclusion: How Introverted Men Can Attract Women Naturally 

As you can see, you have all you need to attract women naturally as an introverted man! 

You have excellent and unique qualities, you are empowered to draw those out more, and you happen to naturally be a great listener. Yay! 

To recap, today we covered how to… 

1. Find out what is uniquely attractive about *you* as an introvert! 
2. Easily bring your best qualities out to shine!
3. Use your listening skills to create chemistry and connection! 

For more on how to attract women in your own natural way, check out the Introverted Alpha blog full of introverted dating tips and Introverted Alpha’s dating coaching program for introverted men. Also, get this free ebook as a gift to you all about why the pickup artist approach doesn’t work for introverts and what works instead.

Thank you for reading!