So, did your ex leave you, and now you think your world has come to an end?
Do your friends tell you that there are other fish in the sea, try to set you up with new people, only to have each date make you miss your ex more and more?
Relax. I mean, maybe she was your true love – but things just didn’t work out because of poor timing in your life. The world is not over. There are still things you can do.
This leads us here: Do you know how to pull yourself together after a breakup? I have great news for you! Almost all loving relationships can be mended, but you must keep in mind that actions speak louder than thoughts and words. Try your best to think clearly and take action with the steps I give here, despite what a difficult time you may be going through right now.
So here are 7 simple actions you can take right now to help your ex back. Some of them may seem simple or strange, but they work when you use them together. After all, this is the girl who used to love you, and a part of her still does! Don’t worry, the amazing moments you shared together still mean something to her and you can bet she hasn’t forgotten about them yet.
1) First off, no blaming
It doesn’t matter whose fault it was. If she broke up with you for no reason or you made some mistakes or whatever else, it doesn’t make sense to live in regret. Let the past be and focus on what’s important, the here and now.
Don’t lose precious time figuring out who was guilty. Keep your mind and heart open, and don’t criticize or make accusations. This is where maturity comes into play. Don’t get angry or become aggressive, just listen. It’s so easy to want to throw all her shit out and take a bat to her new VW Jetta. But don’t. She’s likely to appreciate your calm approach to conflict resolution and think highly of you if you go about it right.
Effective communication between you and your ex can only be achieved when each of you has forgiven the past and moved on as equals.
2) Don’t seem needy
Most important thing.
Just let her go.
That may sound crazy to you, but oftentimes the more someone is pursued the more likely they are to run away. You want to show her that you’re a mature man who loves her. But don’t seem needy. Needing someone doesn’t have anything to do with love. Show her you love her, her personality, and the intimacy you built during your relationship. Make her feel special, and never make her feel that you’re just in love with the idea of being in love, and not involved with HER.
Not communicating with your ex is essential. Ignore her. Show her that you don’t NEED her to be happy. It won’t harm anything if she’s aware that you’re hanging out with other people. It’s also important for your own post-breakup recovery and creates a healthy distance. If you pull away for a while, stop contacting her, and just live your own life, your attitude will improve and she’ll appreciate you more. It’s human nature to desire things we can’t have. She’ll miss you quicker than you think!
3) Focus on personal development
Have you noticed how much more time you have when you’re single? Don’t make the same mistake as most people and treat this alone time as a burden. Instead of complaining, or crying your eyes out over a pint of Haagen-Dazs ice cream, use your time to focus on self-development. After all, you’re on MenProvement.com – The number one place for male self-improvement on the web. 😉
There are probably a ton of things you’ve wanted to try but never had time for. When was the last time you tried something new?
Visit a new place. Work on your body. Learn a new language or skill (learn to be great with women). Now is the time!
When you and your ex meet again, she’ll definitely notice the changes. Not only the visible changes but also the new skills you’ve developed. Challenging yourself will keep you busy and boost your self-esteem. There’s nothing hotter than a confident guy!
4) Keep yourself busy
This tip is related to the previous one. Develop your passions, but accept opportunities to grow and actually DO stuff. Hang out with friends, travel, and compete. Take this post-break-up time to organize your life and mind. If you just want to sit at home and look at old pictures, don’t do it for more than a couple of days.
Keeping yourself busy won’t bring any positive outcome if you decide to stalk your ex-partner or send her emotional messages you shouldn’t have sent. Get outside of yourself and get out there. If you don’t feel social, try going for a run or taking a walk. Just DO something.
5) Don’t act with your emotions
The last thing she needs to know is how sad, angry or jealous you are. She may be sympathetic at first, but eventually, she’ll become annoyed. Avoid sending messages to her while you’re under emotional pressure. Don’t meet with her if you aren’t ready or if you’re afraid of being judgmental or seeming needy. When she asks how you’re doing don’t inundate her with how much you’re suffering. You’re fighting for her love, not her pity!
6) Accept that you’re not together anymore
When you finally meet with your ex don’t act like you’re together. Don’t kiss or hug her intimately. Make her miss physical contact with you and understand what she lost. You’re not a couple anymore. Show maturity and strength of character by showing her you accept the situation. Don’t pretend that you like NOT being together. Just be honest and talk to her like an adult should.
7) Be patient
Show her your calm, loving side. Be patient and honest. Let her know that despite what’s happened your feelings towards her haven’t changed and that you’re eager to begin a new chapter and move on. If she says she needs more time to think, give her time.
Be smart with how you handle the situation. Tell her that you’re happy for her. Don’t smother, pressure, or harass her. Don’t try to force change. Just show her your love, maturity, and self-improvement without involving any negative feelings. Become a person who’s really worth her love.
You can get your ex back. It happens all the time.
The most important thing to remember is not to be a needy, outcome-dependent misery. Get your life together. Get to the gym and show her that you are better off without her.
Either you will end up being better off without her and meet a fox, or she will come running back and you can decide if there is still room in your awesome life for little old her.
For more relationship advice check out Sara’s site Get-A-Wingman.com.
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