What is cool? What qualities do women see in cool guys? Are you a cool guy already or can you be seen as cooler? Who do you think of when you hear the term “cool guy?” Most people think of a surfer, a stoner dude, a rock star, a quarterback, an actor, a racecar driver, an extreme athlete, etc. But what makes these guys “cool” and why are so many women attracted to cool guys? To a lot of people, maybe even yourself included, it’s a huge deal to be seen as “the cool guy”. Being a cool guy makes you more popular.
It all starts from the time we get to middle school and continues for the majority of our lives. We want people to look at us and be like, “Wow, that dude is pretty cool and I want to hang around that guy” and we want women to feel attraction for us because we’re seen as cool. As a result, we start saying things and behaving in ways to make us look cooler so we’re more likely to be accepted by our peers… and women.
But how much of it actually works? What was cool to do in middle school and high school is usually not cool anymore when you’re an adult. So now that we’re adults here, what ACTUALLY makes us look cool to women and other people, and what makes us look like an attention-seeking dumbass?
I’ve put together some of the best stuff I have to offer to help you figure this one out:
What Doesn’t Make You a Cool Guy
First, let’s start off with what won’t make you a cool guy. These behavior traits and qualities are things that can hurt your success with women and your friendships:
1) Making fun of people, putting others down, or making someone else look bad or uncool
Doing this is the opposite of cool. This only makes you look insensitive, immature, and childish and many take offense to it.
2) Showing off to impress others
Instead of looking cool, you look like a moron who’s desperate for attention, and women are repulsed by it. I took my kid to the park one time and I was with my then-girlfriend Samantha. This dude had his dog with him and he was trying to show off by running across the TOP of the monkey bars 8 feet off the ground, something they’re not built for. Not only was she not impressed, but she was hoping he missed one and fell so she could laugh at him for showing off.
3) Trying to look better than other people or above others
Instead of women and other people thinking you’re awesome, this only makes them think you have some serious issues, low self-esteem, and that maybe you’re unhappy with yourself.
4) Crying, bitching, and complaining all the time
It’s not cool to always have worthless things coming out of your mouth. It’s annoying as can get, and no one enjoys spending time with those who constantly whine and complain.
5) Being negative and a downer
Stop killin’ the vibe bro! If you don’t have anything to say that’s worth listening to or it’s not going to build someone up and help them, just be a Silent Bob and hang out. Negativity should be like the static on an old radio. Dial past that stuff until you get to something you want to listen to.
6) Walking around trying to look tougher than other guys
This might’ve worked in school, but now everyone avoids the guy who always has something to prove.
7) Wearing sunglasses and Bluetooth headsets indoors
If this is you, people are more than likely laughing at you everywhere you go and say, “Pfft, look at that dork!”
8) Talking loud on the phone so others will hear you and look in your direction
This sounds like no one would do this, but I see this constantly at stores, malls, and the gym. Usually, the person doing it is saying some ridiculous thing like, “Just cause I drive a $50,000 car don’t mean nothin’! I got more money than I can count!” And usually, that person looks like they are making it all up to get attention. It’s weird to see.
9) Leaning on the wall with your beer at a bar/club thinking you’re too good to be friendly
Women and other people will very rarely go out of their way or leave their friends to go talk to the guy standing on the wall. It doesn’t help to do this and doesn’t look cool. Be social.
10) Pulling out wads of money or keys to an expensive car so people will be like, “Wow, you’re awesome!”
I saw a guy do this one time when he was talking to my girlfriend and he didn’t know I was playing pool behind them. She laughed in the poor guy’s face and told him he was lame for doing that.
11) Telling women how much your clothes cost so they’ll think you’re a badass.
Women are NOT going to be thinking, “Wow. Those expensive jeans and shirts are sweet. I’d love to go back to his house and see what other clothes he has.” Nobody cares how much your stuff costs dude. It’s cool to keep that stuff private.
12) Telling women how many girls like you so they’ll think you’re God’s gift to women.
This only makes you look incredibly stuck up or look like a liar. Not cool dude.
13) Being unfriendly/rude/disrespectful/mean for no reason other than you’re an impolite asshole with no social skills.
There is no reason to lack class or be ugly to anyone if they haven’t done something that is outright wrong and uncalled for.
14) Being mean to women to make yourself feel superior.
There’s a huge difference between saying “no” to women, to avoid them walking all over you or using you, and being a total dick for no reason at all. It may work with some women but it doesn’t make you a cool guy and it doesn’t show much class.
15) Bragging about yourself and talking too much.
Women quickly lose interest in a guy who yaps and yaps and yaps and doesn’t care to learn anything about her.
16) Doing what everyone else is doing to “fit in.”
We all know a guy like this! He follows the latest trends to the T. Wearing scarfs, golf hats, glasses he doesn’t need, or whatever he sees in magazines or on TV. Doing things that aren’t exactly “him.”
17) Being a “know it all” who can’t be told a single thing.
This is the guy we all hate having a conversation with because he corrects you on everything or tells you that he disagrees just to make himself look right, even if he’s wrong. The guy who’s been there, done that, or knows a guy who did it.
Recognize any of these things in your own life or behavior?
If so, knock it off as soon as you can. Work your ass off to get rid of these uncool behaviors because it’s not attractive to women and it doesn’t help you make friends. I did a lot of this stupid stuff before I learned how to get better with women and dating. No joke. But once I became aware of it, I developed a high level of self-awareness and worked on it until my behavior improved. It not only helped my dating life but my social life as well.
Things That Make You a Cool Guy
So now you know how not to be a cool guy. So what can you do to become the cool dude who everyone wants to be around? Here’s the list.
1) Not caring what women or other people think about you.
This is a huge topic I talk about in my eBook Ace Your Dates. Caring about what people think, especially women, makes you totally uncool and unattractive.
2) Not seeking approval from others.
Being cool means you don’t seek validation and you don’t need other people to agree with you on stuff. It means you give yourself validation to be who you’re going to be and do what you’re going to do – whether you have anyone’s approval or not.
3) Always being laid back, cool, composed, and relaxed no matter what.
The coolest guys I know keep their composure and are relaxed in the craziest situations. It’s awesome. (Look at Matthew McConaughey. Watch his movies. Watch his interviews as well as George Clooney. Super laid back dude)
4) Not being needy.
Set your life up so you don’t ever need anything. Nothing physical or emotional. If you take care of yourself, you won’t need others or women to take care of you or baby you.
5) Not trying too hard to look or be cool.
Not using reckless behavior to look like a rebel or tough guy. It looks kinda lame when you really think about it. You’re either cool or you’re not. If you have to try, then you’re not doing it right and you probably have work to do on yourself.
6) Having your life together – job, finances, hobbies, relationships.
Having yourself together mentally, physically, and emotionally is pretty damn cool. Learn everything you can about becoming a well-rounded man and improve in every area possible.
7) Being nice and friendly to those you know and don’t know.
Treat everyone as an equal. Even those beneath you. Treating others above you, especially women, make you look like a pussy. Treating others as beneath you makes you look like a prick who people hate being around.
8) Being really funny.
If you’re not funny, find some funny guys and hang around them. You’ll be acting like a jackass and making people laugh and enjoy your company in no time. Watch a ton of stand-up comedy. It’s even available on Pandora now. Just type in your favorite comedian and you’re good to go.
9) Being a good listener, conversationalist, and making people feel important.
I like to call it, “listen to your way into her pants”. Learn how to get over yourself, get over your own shit, quit thinking of what you’re going to say next, and just be in the moment. Be present. LISTEN. Really seek to understand the other person and where they’re coming from. Forget about yourself for a few minutes, or hours. The return on investment is incredible because that person now really likes you and wants to be your friend and be in your life.
10) Not being a downer.
If you’re a negative wuss bag who brings others down with your snide remarks, complaining, and acting like a little girl, you’re not going to look very cool and you’re not going to get a lot of admirers. Always be positive. Always have something good to say. Train yourself to see opportunity instead of failure.
11) Have good hygiene – of course.
Wash your stinky ass, armpits, etc. Wear cologne, brush your teeth, trim your nails, get a cool hairstyle, etc. Look like you give a damn about yourself. Always be presentable and stay presentable.
12) Having confidence but not arrogance.
You already know there’s a fine line here. Arrogance comes in when you don’t keep your mouth shut. Talk less, listen more, and carry yourself with confidence.
13) Being genuine, honest, and authentic.
If you’re a guy who’s full of crap, work on it. Women are bullshit detecting machines and they will see right through you. My eBook Ace Your Dates has tons of stuff to help you in this area. Read the book Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton which was recommended to me by David DeAngelo.
14) Not thinking you’re better or smarter than others.
Always be open to others’ ideas. Be open to the possibility that people you meet might know more than you or be smarter than you. Realize that your way usually isn’t the only way. Be flexible. Truly smart men are intelligent enough to know not to tell others how smart they are. Instead, they prove their brain power through actions instead of words.
15) Helping others when they need help.
Don’t be selfish. Most guys who think they’re too cool will watch someone else fall on their face or struggle with something. A cool guy is cool enough to help others when he sees they need a hand. No matter what it is. For example, an old man fell down while trying to use the bathroom one time and his pants were around his ankles. Was I too cool to help him because his pants were down? No. I was a man about it, did the cool thing, and gave him assistance. It didn’t matter what the situation was.
16) Bringing out the best in others and lifting others up.
You’re not a cool guy if those around you are worse off for having met you. Make people feel good and do better just for knowing you. Maya Angelou said:
“People will forget what you did and said to them, but they won’t forget how you made them feel.”
17) Going after your goals.
Get your ass off the couch and out of bed. Put the damn video games down. Stop beating off and watching porn. Write down what you want to do with your life, who you want to be, and make that shit happen! Before you know it, your life has passed you by, and either you’re happy because you acted fast enough, or you sat around twiddling your thumbs and you’re bitter about who you became. Don’t be a “wish I had…” guy. Be a “what if I don’t…” guy.
18) Being yourself.
Don’t try to be like others. Think for yourself. Just because your buddies got a piercing in their face doesn’t mean you should do it too to look cool. Be who you are, not who others want you to be.
19) Having your own style/way of doing things.
Get away from those influencing you and spend some time by yourself and figure out who you are. Develop your own habits, style, and way of living. If you’re copying others, you need to work on it. If others are copying you and following in your footsteps, you’re probably on the right track.
20) Always being the best you can be.
Being here on Menprovement.com tells me that you’re seeking to be a better man and get better results in your life. You can’t be the best if you’re not seeking to improve yourself every single day. The best are awake before everyone else. The best work harder and longer than everyone else. And as a result, the best live a life that no one else is able to live. As they say in BUD/S, “It pays to be a winner!” You’re not a quitter. Quitters never win, unless you’re a smoker. Forget what others say who aren’t trying to improve their life. Do it for you.
How This Can Help You Become A Cool Guy
These steps and rules have helped me become a cool guy and have helped me in my personal life and dating life. I live by these steps and rules and if you do too, you’ll start getting more of the things you want, women you want, and your life will turn and go the direction you want it to. Coincidentally, these are also the steps to become a REAL MAN and not a little boy trapped inside a man’s body.
Working on every one of these will ensure you have more friends, more women, and awesome social life. When people talk about you, they’ll say things like, “Oh yea, love that guy. He’s one of the coolest dudes I know.” To learn more, visit MajorLeagueDating.com
Thanks for reading.