So you want to know how to be more attractive to women.
Don’t we all.
I have been a dating coach for over 10 years, helping hundreds of men become more attractive to women through my 6 principle philosophy I call social artistry.
In this article I am going to teach you exactly how to be more attractive to women without changing your clothes, without any fancy pick up lines & without having to get a ripped 6 pack.
All it’s going to take is a simple mindset shift & some basic understanding of energetic principles.
Sound good? Let’s begin.
How to be More Attractive to Women
When I was starting off on my journey of discovery, I remember being told:
“Don’t show a girl you like them or you’ll lose them”.
“They’ll feel they have you and they’re only interested in someone they can’t have”.
“You have to appear like you’re not interested”.
You may be thinking yourself too;
“Ah, I don’t want to show interest to a woman because maybe she’ll think that I validated her too quickly, maybe she’s not going to be interested in me now, because she’s so hot and she’s used to going out and guys showing her interest – maybe if I show that I’m too cool for school and give the impression I’m not interested in her, she’ll be more attracted to me”.
Well, this is a very dangerous trap and let me tell you something, if you do that, if you show disinterest, if you give disinterest, you get disinterest back.
If you give “I’m too cool for school”, you get that reciprocated back. This is how the energetic world works, what you put in, you get back out.
Have you ever had it on a date, and the person you’re with is really nervous. On some level you start to feel really nervous, because she’s putting that in, you’re feeling that and it gets cycled round.
Or perhaps you’ve been with someone, and they’re giggling and laughing and that sense of joy is bubbling over-it’s infectious and you start to feel that emotion too.
So it’s very important to remember to project an interest, if you’re attracted to someone, because if you don’t, nothing’s going to be cycled round and it’s going to flat-line. There’ll be no tension created or sense of aliveness and you’ll immediately be put in the friend-zone.
So rule #1:
If you want to be more attractive to women, you need to show interest.
You may not believe me now, but just bear with me.
Now there are different ways to express interest. Often when guys start off exploring projecting their intent, they verbalise it with a compliment etc. Which, by all means is progress, especially as you’re developing your confidence and speaking more from your authentic desire. But what this tends to do energetically is release a lot of the tension/magnetism, depending on how you say it.
I would encourage you to say it with an attitude. So instead of saying “you look sexy”. You can feel this in your body as a charge and as you talk to her, even though you may be small talking, this intent is really communicating with her under the surface as a felt experience. It’s the river through which everything flows.
There are different levels to which you may want to express desire/interest. At its most intense, it is tangibly overt and sexually charged but at its most subtle it can just be playful with a little twinkle in the eye. Either way there is an intent in the interaction.
You may be in a situation where you’re in a park or a library and you’re talking to her and so the intensity of desire shifts down on a spectrum. So long as you give her the smallest piece of your interest then you’ve set the context for this being potentially romantic and sexual.
Your desire for her is one of the greatest gifts you can give her and it’s attractive.
If you can remember the magnet analogy I always give; desire from neediness that’s unattractive. You have the (+) charge of a magnet and another (+) charge of a magnet, they actually push away from each other creating a repellent force. This is when girls will feel validated and ignore you.
However, desire coming from Autonomy (which is the first Social Heartistry principle – learn all 6 here), given away unconditionally, that’s actually the (+) and the (-) charge together, to create that attractive force.
So when you’re talking to a girl you feel attracted to, you can either express interest from a place of “please like me” (weak and unattractive), or from a place of “I have everything I need already but I want you too”. (strength and attractive).
This is why expressing interest within a pick-up frame, will always render you unattractive and you have to overlay pretend alpha-male behavioural strategies like “cocky-funny”, “qualifying” “false-time constraints” etc. You’re needy and in need of a result, but you’re pretending you don’t. This will only create behavioural dissonance and you’ll repel women. Trust me, I’ve been there.
So rule #2:
If you want to be more attractive to women, you need to lose your neediness. Neediness is the opposite of attractiveness. Mark Manson explains it well in his very famous article about attracting women.
In order to be non-needy, you need to build autonomy. Women cannot be your #1 priority.
You may be shouting at screen saying: “But I want girls, I want to pick them up, this is unavoidable”.
This is your Pick-up programming that is wrecking your interactions. As counterintuitive as it may sound at this stage, you have to move from being a horny guy to being a sexual guy. A horny guy, is desperate to relieve the sexual charge in his body and bring it to a climax – a result. The sexual guy, loves and luxuriates within the sexual charge in his body, and when he’s with a woman this sexual charge in his body is his power, with or without any outcome, and the very interaction is in itself a purpose.
Imagine you’re a woman for a moment, which one of the two guys do you think is attractive – the guy who is desperate to get his rocks off, because he cant deal with the sexual energy in his body, that needs alleviating. Or the guy that is effortlessly comfortable with the sexual charge in his body and wants to express this. If she does not accept the invite, he continues to move around in his power.
See the difference?
If this article is resonating, and you want to go deeper, I have an online course hosted in Menprovement X where you can go through the entire process and watch me demonstrate everything I teach, in live social settings. (Click here to check it out)
We’ll teach you how to lose your neediness, become autonomous & be the most attractive version of yourself who can effortlessly talk to any girl.
Once you’ve mastered the energetic principles of attractiveness, you can start to add on the final touches. So let’s recap.
How to be more attractive to women:
1: Be autonomous
2: Let go of neediness
3: Don’t hide your desire
And it doesn’t hurt to dress clean & groom.
Thanks for reading guys.
If you have anymore advice for being more attractive to women let us know in the comments below! What is working for you?
John Cooper is a world-renowned coach and pioneer in the dating community. Having trained men and women since 2009 he forged his own coaching method which focuses on being the social artist rather than the pick up artist. This culminated in his bestselling book – Game Over (2015).