What image do you have in mind when you think about the alpha male? Before I developed a strong interest in personal development and before I learned what it really means to seduce women in an honest and respectful way, I had the same image in mind that you probably think of.
When I imagined an alpha male, I always thought about a muscular badass who was willing to kill everyone who would dare to look at him the wrong way. I always thought of alpha men as physically strong leaders who lead with aggression and fear.
Years later I realized that the image of the ruthless alpha wolf that is ready to mangle his prey was not exactly what it is really about. Of course, there are a lot of self-proclaimed alpha men who pretend to be alpha by displaying their muscles and by screaming around like hyperactive children who forgot to take their Ritalin.
Today I know that this immature behavior is just the result of low self-esteem and very sensitive ego. It has absolutely nothing to do with what it really means to be alpha. According to the dictionary, being alpha means having the highest rank in a group and being the best.
Do you really deserve to have a high rank, just because you can lift more than your own body weight on the bench press?
This might be true if we would still live in the Stone Age, but today there are tons of other characteristics that define the ideal alpha male than being able to carry a big cudgel.
In the following lines, I want to introduce some alpha male traits to you that you probably haven’t thought of and that you should better implement in your life if you want to become successful with women, in business, and in every other aspect of your life.
1. The Dignity to Fight Without Fists
Let’s jump back to our example of the aggressive alpha male with the big biceps and the killer instinct. It is no secret that the origin of the heroic image of the alpha male was inspired by the wolf, an animal that is often described as a hunter and killer.
But does being a strong hunter with the physical ability to kill your rivals really make you an alpha male?
In our modern society with all its laws and its social structure that is largely based on interactions and communication processes in the organization and intercultural contexts, it makes no sense to admire someone who is physically stronger and willing to use this strength in a harmful way.
The only thing that using your physical power to intimidate or even hurt your beta rivals leads to is an expensive lawsuit. In our modern society, it is much more admirable to have the dignity to fight without words. I mean, being the president of a country can be seen as the most alpha job that you can possibly have. Usually, the candidate with the best rhetoric abilities and the most valid arguments wins the favor of the voters, not the one who is able to break the competitor’s jaw.
2. Relentless Honesty
There are already enough men who lie to women because they hope that telling them sweet little lies makes their panties drop. There are also already enough men who try to scam people out of their money because they think that this is the fastest way to succeed. While lying to women can lead to initial success, she will sooner or later find out that you are just another spineless boy who doesn’t have the balls to say what he really feels.
The same is true when it comes to business success. You might be able to scam a few people by selling them crap at a horrendous price, but sooner or later people will find out that you are a scam. A true alpha male knows that scamming and lying are disrespectful and nothing to be proud of. You are better than all those phony liars. Your good heart allows you to be honest and your courage allows you to verbalize this honesty in a relentless way.
You are not afraid to rub somebody up the wrong way because your honest opinion isn’t in alignment with what society tells you to think. You know that being honest is way more alpha than pretending to be alpha while lying like a trooper.
3. The Courage to Lead
There are only two ways to lead. The one way is leading through respect and the other is leading through fear. Leading through fear is what a lot of monarchs and dictators did and unfortunately still do. But are those people real alpha men? When you look beyond the surface, beyond the glamorous pictures and the propaganda, you’ll find insecure men with more complexes than any human being could possibly handle without committing suicide.
Leaders who lead through fear are pitiful, but not alpha. The true alphas are the men who lead through respect. Thereby, I mean a positive form of respect that is based on admiration and affection. The courage to lead in a way that is beneficial to your followers is definitely one of the alpha male traits that you should have.
4. Respect for Others
There are two types of respect that you should be familiar with as an alpha male. On the one hand, you should have enough self-respect to make choices and decisions that are beneficial for your health and for your own personal development. On the other hand, you should be able and willing to respect the people you interact with.
Yes, this includes respect for women. There are already too many self-proclaimed alpha males who neither respect nor love women and who spread their hate all over the internet. Please don’t become one of them. Enjoy conversations with women that are based on honesty, authenticity, and respect. I am sure that you are smart enough to understand the difference between an insecure and disrespectful boy who calls himself alpha and a real man who respects himself and other people.
5. Emotional Strength
I already told you that the weight you can lift on the bench press doesn’t determine whether you are an alpha male or not. I don’t say that hitting the gym is bad. All I say is that your physical strength doesn’t turn you into a leader that people and especially women can trust.
What really turns you into a leader that other people can easily trust is your emotional strength. If you have the ability to deal with setbacks in life and to help other people through rough phases, you will automatically be seen as the go-to guy. While physical strength is highly overrated, emotional strength is one of the most underrated alpha male traits I can think of.
It really shocks me that there are still men who believe that showing your emotions, talking about emotional topics, and admitting that you have emotions are all signs of weakness. They are not. They are signs of strength and a true alpha man knows that emotional strength is the real strength.
6. The Determination to Win
An alpha male is a man who is determined to win without ignoring his values, his dignity, and his integrity. One important alpha male trait is the hunger to succeed and the determination to do whatever it takes to become successful.
According to the definition in the dictionary, an alpha man is the best in his group. You simply can’t be the best if you are a lazy couch potato who thinks that watching TV all day makes more sense than working on your business.
If you want to be respected and admired by others you have to work your butt off. If you want that others follow your lead you have to lead by example and show them what is possible. I know nobody who looks up to a guy who managed to watch all episodes of Two and a Half Men, but I know a lot of guys who would look up to a man who managed to found and run a successful business.
7. Supportive Companionship
As a true leader, it is your responsibility to make sure that the people you lead benefit from following you. If they won’t see any benefit, they won’t follow you. It is really that simple. The best way to motivate somebody to follow you is to be a companion and to show your support. If you are willing to accompany someone on their journey to support him along the way, he will be more than ready to follow you wherever you go.
Combining support and companionship and mixing them together to a beneficial package of help and friendship is an alpha male trait that only a few men will ever acquire.
8. Living Your Values
Do you have values that you live by? Every man has values, no matter if he admits it or not. The only difference between an alpha male and a beta male is that the alpha male has the courage to live his values, while the beta male hides behind the opinions of other people.
Do you really think that others will admire and respect you when you are not even man enough to say what you really think and to do what you really want to do? Of course, they won’t. Even though there are a lot of people who hide their opinions and who wear a socially acceptable mask that society wants them to wear, nobody would think of these people as particularly alpha.
9. The Selflessness to Help Others
Even though a lot of men mistakenly assume that they must have a heart of steel if they want to call themselves alpha, one of the most valuable alpha male traits is selflessness. If you are a man who is selfless enough to help other people, you will receive the respect that all those wannabes can only dream of.
Being selfless enough to help others doesn’t only show that you have what it takes to lead a lot of people in a way that improves their lives. It also shows that you are a person with an altruistic vision, which is one of the greatest gifts you can give to humanity.
10. The Courage to Admit Your Fears
Showing your fears is a sign of weakness. A real man isn’t afraid of anything. As a real man, you are not even afraid of death. Okay, let’s put aside the ideal image of the fearless alpha male that countless movies and video games rammed into your brain and focus on the truth.
The truth is that everybody has fears. Especially the supposedly invulnerable alpha men are the ones who have more fears than you can imagine. Whenever we see a successful man we see the glory and the respect. What we tend to ignore are the sleepless nights in which he doubted himself because he was afraid that he won’t make it.
In every motivational video, you hear men you would describe as true alpha men talking about how they just believed in themselves and eventually succeeded. What they don’t mention are the struggle and the fears that they have survived to get to where they are today.
One of the most important alpha male traits that a lot of people tend to forget about is the courage to admit your fears. As a true alpha man, you know that admitting your fears is way more courageous than pretending that you are afraid of nothing.
Being a muscular bulldozer with a killer instinct doesn’t magically transform you into an alpha male. There are other alpha male traits that are way more important than your physical strength. A true alpha male fights without his fists speaks the truth and has the courage to lead other people.
While you have the emotional strength of a rock and the determination of a professional athlete, you still respect the people around you. As an alpha man, you live by certain values and you try to be a supportive companion whenever and wherever you can. While you have the selflessness to help others, you also have the courage to admit and to face your own fears.