I love my work as a pickup and dating coach. Nothing makes me happier than helping men to improve their lives by approaching, seducing, and dating the most beautiful women that this world has to offer. And whenever I think back to the time when I ran around like a maniac approaching one girl after another, it makes me wonder how I had the discipline to do what I did.
I went out every evening after work and every Saturday and Sunday. I approached women whenever and wherever I could. I did this for about five years of my life until I met the woman of my dreams. Now I only approach women when I teach men how to do it…and sometimes I do it to not rust.
Five years with at least four hours every day are over 7.300 hours of approaching women. With all the dates and unforgettable nights, romances, and relationships, I dedicated way more than 10.000 hours to pick up. I definitely have my 10.000 hours to mastery. And even though I know that what I did was exactly what I needed to do in order to be able to live the life I am living now, I can’t say that I was completely sane during this time.
Eifel 65, a famous Pop band from the 90s once sung that “too much of heaven can bring you underground”. Well, I nearly drowned. I dedicated my life to pick up and in the process, I nearly forgot that I have a life. I want you to get good with women.
I want you to approach and date incredibly beautiful women. Nothing makes me happier than receiving a “Thanks to you I met the woman of my dreams” email. I want all these things for you, but I don’t want to see you drown in a sea of senseless pussy.
Here are 10 signs that show that it’s time to get your life jacket.
1. You Ignore School or Work to Approach Women
I went on my first pickup boot camp while I was still in college. After the boot camp, I transformed into an approaching machine and I skipped quite a few classes because I rather spent the time approaching women. Later at my job I sometimes extended my lunch break to hit on girls in the city.
I told you that I was dedicated. What I didn’t tell you until now is that I was extremely lucky. My college professors could have caught me. Heck, I could have approached the daughter of my boss while he thought I was in a meeting with a client.
Please don’t ignore school or work, just because you want to go out and approach women. Yes, 90% you learn in college is a complete waste of time, but if you want to become a doctor, you shouldn’t skip too many classes. You can still study the female body after you’ve studied the human heart.
2. You Suffer From The Twitching
What the hell is The Twitching?
It’s the feeling that you get whenever you see a beautiful woman that you want to approach. It’s this little electric shock that you feel when your brain screams “approach her”. It’s the radar that you wish you could switch off while you are out with friends.
Look, it’s great that you want to approach as many women as possible, but when you can’t even enjoy chatting with a friend without thinking about running after girls, you suffer from Twitching. I remember how I ran after two different girls during a group study session. The second time I did it, my group member was really pissed.
If you can’t do the most normal things without looking around like a horny dog on ecstasy, you should take a break from pickup. At this point, it has become an addiction that is anything but healthy.
3. You Can’t Remember the Name of the Last Girl You Seduced
What do you see when you lie next to a beautiful girl you just slept with? In case you answer “ass and tits”, you might need to take a break from the pickup. Why?
Well, because the naked woman who is lying next to you is more than just a nice ass and juicy tits. She is a human being and she has a name. Can you remember her name? You probably can’t because all you thought about from the moment you approached her was how you can possibly get her ass out of her panties. Not for one moment did you think about what she feels and who she really is.
I don’t say that you shouldn’t have sex with many women. This can be extremely pleasurable. All I say is that not giving a fuck about the woman who is snuggling up to you is a sure sign that you are taking it too far.
4. You Plan Your Next Date on a Date
All I remember when I think back to this one date with the beautiful red-haired girl in the green dress is that I chatted with three girls while holding my phone under the table. That’s all I remember and it’s also the last time that I saw her beautiful face.
There comes a day in every aspiring seducer’s life when he has so many dates lined up that messing up one or two doesn’t really matter. Depending on how experienced you are right now, this might seem unbelievable. But believe me, the day will come.
The one thing that sets the real seducers apart from the wannabe pickup artists is how they handle this phase. A real seducer sees every date as an opportunity to get to know an amazing woman. A wannabe pickup artist is so arrogant that it’s okay for him to show complete disinterest during a date that doesn’t go as planned.
If you can’t appreciate the fact that the woman who is sitting next to you spent two hours in front of the mirror and one hour on the train to see you, you don’t deserve her anyway.
5. You Refuse to Speak to Any of Your Non-Pickup Friends
In the worst case, pickup can destroy friendships. I nearly destroyed one friendship that is worth more than gold and today I am glad that I realized how ridiculously stupid I behaved before it was too late.
Having the ability to approach any woman you want and the “luck” to date incredibly beautiful women that others are too afraid to even look at puts you in the top 1% of men. Let’s face the truth. Most men couldn’t even approach a woman if somebody would put a gun to their head.
It’s lonely at the top and you definitely have a special skill that not many men have. However, just because you put a lot of work into developing this skill doesn’t mean that a man who doesn’t have the same goals and dedication is worthless.
One toxic mindset that a lot of aspiring seducers have is that everyone outside of the seduction community is a beta male and a wimp. I went through a phase where I thought that. This toxic mindset made me stop talking to most of my friends because they had no interest whatsoever in approaching women.
Guess what? Most of my friends are still not good with women, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be amazing friends. One of them has only slept with one girl in his life (now she is his wife), but he would do anything to help me. Saving friendships like that is worth way more than your inflated ego.
6. You Think that Being an Approaching Machine = Being a Seducer
I can’t even tell you how many self-proclaimed pickup artists I met who slept with three girls and all of them were prostitutes.
The sad but true reality is that most men in the seduction community can’t get laid. Period.
All they do is run-up to a woman, get rejected and then run up to the next woman. And so the cycle continues. Never in a million years would they think about analyzing themselves and their interactions. Never in a million years would they think about all the other aspects that they have to work on in order to become good with women.
If you think that seducing is the same as approaching, you need to take a break from pickup and reassess what it really means to be a seducer. Your body language, your confidence, your conversation skills, your interests, your passion… These are all important aspects of a seducer’s life. Neglecting them is a fatal mistake.
7. You Can’t Enjoy the Moment Because You Always Think About the Next One
What do you think about when you make love to a woman? I hope you think about nothing. I hope you enjoy the moment with her and focus on her pleasure. Unfortunately, most guys in the pickup community are not able to do that. They are so caught up in the idea that they have to seduce the next one and the next one, that they are not able to enjoy the moment.
If all you think while you are in bed with a woman is your notch count and whether she is number ten or number eleven, you have a serious problem. If you can’t enjoy being with a woman, you should take a break from being with woman until you can enjoy it again.
8. You Leave the Perfect Girl Because You Think You Have to Continue
If you would ask me about the biggest mistake that I see self-proclaimed pickup artists and even extremely successful seducers make, this would be my honest answer:
Their biggest mistake is to leave the perfect girl because they think they have to continue. You can’t possibly believe how grateful I am that I did not make this mistake after the first night with the woman I now proudly call my girlfriend.
Leaving her for the next senseless pussy would have been a terrible, terrible mistake. Unfortunately, many pickup artists make this mistake over and over again. They meet a girl who is perfect for them and then they run away. Why?
Because of some bullshit belief of “relationships are for losers” in combination with an inflated ego that tries to convince you that you are only a man once you had sex with at least 100 women.
Please don’t make the mistake that so many men before you made. Don’t allow your ego and the beliefs of the seduction community to push away the woman of your dreams. She might be worth taking a break.
Approaching one woman after another and going on many dates with many beautiful women is awesome. Practice makes perfect and you definitely need to put in a lot of work and time to become the successful seducer you always wanted to be.
Just be careful that you don’t take it too far. The inability to remember the name of the girls you slept with and not being able to enjoy the moment with a woman are obvious signs that you need a break. Don’t wait until you run away from the woman of your dreams for a meaningless one-night stand, just because your ego told you that you need to continue.