Being in a happy relationship can cause the most wonderful feelings on earth. You have butterflies in your stomach. You smile whenever you look at your beloved girlfriend and the thought of not waking up next to her is unimaginable. A happy and fulfilling relationship can give you the feeling that every rainy day is sunny and that every problem that life throws at you can be solved within a heartbeat. Your life is good and you couldn’t be happier.
Unfortunately, most relationships are not like that. I know so many couples who are together for years, even though the relationship is anything but fulfilling. Heck, I have been in a four-year relationship that was neither healthy nor fulfilling. I know what I am talking about.
Thanks to my own experience and the hundreds of emails I get from guys like you, I know that there are times when it’s better to end a relationship than to continue the suffering. In some cases, it is unhealthy for both partners to continue to pretend that everything is just fine.
But the shocking truth is that a lot of those relationships result in marriages and eventually in a nasty divorce. Don’t let it come so far. Have a look at the following 11 reasons to break up with your girlfriend and make a decision that might be painful, but better for both of you.
1. She Doesn’t Respect You
Let me ask you an honest question: Does your girlfriend respect you? I can’t tell you how many men I have met over the years that are in relationships with women who don’t respect them. Just have a look at your social circle and think about all the moments in which a girlfriend of one of your buddies made fun of him in public.
In case you live in a Western country I am pretty sure that you can think of such moments. You can call me old-fashioned or even extreme, but I would NEVER be together with a woman who obviously doesn’t respect me. I sometimes wonder why so many men accept something that is so unacceptable.
2. You are Not Compatible
You are attracted to a woman. You want to sleep with her. You eventually sleep with her. You end up in a relationship with her.
Does that sound familiar? I bet it does. Many relationships are the result of one-night stands and short affairs. While this can lead to a deep feeling of love it can also lead to a relationship that is only based on sexual attraction.
Don’t get me wrong. The sexual attraction is a key component of every relationship, but if you are compatible in the bedroom and absolutely incompatible in real life you don’t have to wonder why your relationship sucks. If you are an introverted man who loves to read books, cuddle in front of the TV, and enjoy a romantic holiday and she is a party chick who needs two Bacardi to survive the romantic vacation you booked, you should think about moving on.
3. You Want to Go Left, She Wants to Go Right
What are your dreams? What do you want to achieve? Where do you want to live? These are all essential questions that every man should ask himself at some point or another. Unfortunately, a lot of men still don’t do what they really want to do, even though they have found the answers to all of those questions. In some cases, it’s because of their girlfriend.
Just imagine you want to start your own business and move to South East Asia and you are together with a girl who hates Asia, who can’t stand hot weather, and who tells you every day that leaving your job is the dumbest thing you could possibly do.
How likely is it that you will ever be happy in this relationship?
If you give up on your dreams to stay together with a girl who doesn’t support your dreams, who wants to take a completely different path, and who doesn’t believe in what you do, you are a fool.
4. She Won’t Be Happy Without You
One reason to break up with your girlfriend is when you know that she won’t be happy without you. Now you might think “what the fuck did I just read?” At first glance, this might sound contradictory, but when you really think about it, it makes a lot of sense.
If you know that your girlfriend won’t be happy without you, you shouldn’t be together with her. If you know that your girlfriend is together with you because she can’t be alone and because she thinks that you are her only chance to happiness, she has some serious psychological issues. I am sorry to say this, but if she needs another person to be happy she is not a healthy person, and she definitely does not have healthy self-esteem.
While I know that my beautiful Thai girlfriend would be very sad and maybe even depressed if I would leave her, I know that she would eventually find happiness again. That’s the kind of emotionally healthy girl you should be in a relationship with.
5. You Don’t See Yourself with Her in 5 Years
Are you currently in a relationship? Good, then please close your eyes and imagine yourself in 5 years. Do you see yourself with her or without her? This is a very simple, yet powerful question you absolutely have to ask yourself.
There are already too many men who are together with girls who they can’t imagine a future with. Please don’t be one of them. If you close your eyes and imagine your life in five years and your girlfriend is NOT in the picture, you might want to think about whether or not you really want to be in this relationship.
6. She is in Love with Your Credit Card
Are you sure that your girlfriend loves you? I am sure that my girlfriend loves me and one of the reasons why I am so sure about this is because I separate nearly every bill. Again, you can call me old-fashioned (or simply German), but I consider this to be the easiest way to find out if a girl is really into you.
Sorry, but I can’t understand those men who buy one expensive gift after another for a woman and who then complain that all women are gold diggers. I don’t say that your girlfriend is a gold digger, but if you spend all your hard-earned cash on her, you should better test her. How can you test her? Stop paying for her shit and see how she reacts. If she respects your decision and loves and supports you in the same way as before, she is a keeper. If she reacts aggressively and threatens to leave you, you should be the one who leaves her.
7. She Has Cheated on You
In case you are in a monogamous relationship in which you and your girlfriend promised each other to stay faithful and she cheated on you, you should end the relationship. “Don’t you think that this is a bit extreme? Wouldn’t it be better to forgive her if she promises me that she’ll never do it again?”
By now you should know that I am a bit extreme when it comes to relationships. I am this extreme because I have talked to enough men who made the same mistakes over and over again. One of these mistakes is to stay together with a girl who cheated on them or to end up in a relationship with a girl who has cheated on one of her ex-boyfriends. You can justify it as much as you want but in my experience, a girl who has done it before will eventually do it again. Once the barrier is crossed, it is very easy to cross it again.
8. She Talks but Doesn’t Listen
Do you know those girls who talk, talk and talk but never listen to a single word you say? In case you are together with one of them you should think about whether or not she even cares about you. I know that it sounds brutal but think about it. How likely is it that the person you are talking to cares about you when this person doesn’t even make an effort to listen to you? I am sure you would listen to a woman you care about. I am sure you would want to know what a woman who you are in love with says to you. I am sure she would listen to you if she really cared about you.
9. She Has a Problem With Drugs
This goes out to all the guys who ended up in relationships with a party girl: If she has a problem with drugs, you should break up with her. And yes, I consider alcohol to be a drug. Oh, and I consider antidepressants to be a drug too. I have one friend who ended up in a relationship with a crazy girl who swallows Prozac as if they were smarties and I know a lot of people whose girlfriend drinks more than a Russian construction worker.
Now that she is in her twenties it might be “fun” to have uninhibited sex when she is drunk and to party with her all night long. I get it. But please think about your future. If a girl needs antidepressants and alcohol to cope with life when she is young and beautiful, she’ll need a lot more of it once she loses her beauty.
10. You Prefer to Be Without Her
Do you miss your girlfriend when she is not with you? I hope you do. In case you don’t, you shouldn’t be together with her.
When I think back to the days when I was together with my ex-girlfriend I remember a guy who was happy whenever she left my apartment. My relationship with her was so toxic that I thought about leaving right after I woke up next to her. In case you have the same negative feelings when you wake up next to your girlfriend, you are definitely not made for each other.
11. Your Sex Life Doesn’t Exist
When was the last time you had sex? In case you are in a relationship and the last time you had sex was weeks or even months ago, you are definitely not in a happy relationship. You can lie to yourself while you jerk off to one porn movie after another, but you can’t fool me. This is a sign that you are not sexually attracted to the woman you are together with. It is a sign that your relationship has become a friendship. It is a sign that you should better tell her the truth instead of hiding it.
12. You Don’t Love Her Anymore
What if your relationship has become a friendship? What if the love is gone? Well, there are a lot of men who stay together with women they are not in love with anymore. They do it out of convenience. They do it because they think they won’t find another girlfriend. They do it because the regular sex feels good. In the end, they all end up miserable and they will eventually reach a point where they see no other chance than breaking up. I know this from my own experience and I hope that you make the right decision before you reach this point.
I hope that your relationship is happy, supportive, and fulfilling, but in case it’s not, you might want to know more about the reasons to break up with your girlfriend. If she doesn’t respect you, if you are not compatible and if you have completely different ideas of your future, you might not be destined to be together. Maybe she is unable to be happy with herself and maybe you don’t even want to be together with her five years from now. Take action or you will regret it.
In case you are together with a girl who loves your credit card, who has been unfaithful, and who doesn’t listen to you, the relationship is destined to fail. Oh, and if she takes drugs and your relationship developed into a friendship, or into indifference, you are better off without her.